I am at the point in my life where I no longer want to be disturbed. Peace and quiet are more valuable than gold to me. If you don’t believe me, send a million dollars in gold and be amazed as I return it to you for some peace and quiet. I dare you to send me a million dollars worth of gold. In fact, I double dare you.
Recently, I decided to visit the Midwest. The trip was actually to Milwaukee, but I chose to go to Chicago and stay there as my home base. The main reason for the trip was to watch the Celtics play against the Milwaukee Bucks. I know the game didn’t mean much to the Celtics so I didn’t care if they won or loss; I just wanted to get away and have a new experience.
In the past, I would have reached out to others and planned a trip with friends, but I have come to the understanding that life is a lot more enjoyable and a lot simpler if one moves by themselves. I like to exist freely and go with the flow rather than worry about coming to some compromise with others. If that sounds selfish to you, you may be an idiot.
The plan was to fly to Chicago, explore the city, and drive to Milwaukee to watch the NBA game. I don’t move like most people. I was sitting at home on Tuesday, April 2nd, and while looking at the Celtic’s schedule I noticed they only had one road game remaining and it was against the Bucks. On Friday, I decided I wanted to make the trip to see the game. I do not like to fly somewhere and fly right back without at least staying a few days. I looked up some places to stay in both Chicago and Milwaukee. I settled on Chicago and booked a home in the City. I didn’t want to stay in a hotel, or an apartment building because I value my peace and Quiet, and some people are inconsiderate. I found a lovely single family home, located in a quiet neighborhood and booked a stay from Sunday to Friday. I don’t want to give out too much information on the location of the home because my intent is not to create any negative publicity which may disrupt the owners business. (For a small fee, I can share the address.)
I booked a rental, booked the flight and purchased a single ticket to the game. On Sunday morning, I flew to Chicago and landed at O’hare International Airport located in the windy City. (No bullshit…I didn’t feel a single gust of wind during my stay in Chicago! Where has their wind gone?) I took an Uber to the rental spot and arrived a few minutes before noon. A white 5 Series BMW was waiting for me. I grew up a BMW fan and I enjoy renting them, but I am not sure if I would want to live with one permanently. (If you work for BMW and would be interested in giving me a long-term loaner to try and persuade me to switch to your brand, I am too down!) The original booking for the Airbnb was scheduled for 4pm check-in, so I had a few hours of down time. I drove to the White Sox stadium and it looked pretty cool. I then went to Target to grab a couple items that I didn’t feel like packing. $99 later I returned to the car. (I don’t believe in the devil, but he owns target.)
I reached out to the owner of the home and asked if it was ok for me to check-in earlier. He agreed to allow me access at 3pm. I arrived at the house and missed the first half of the women’s college basketball national championship game. It was cool to watch Dawn Staley lead South Carolina to another title win, but I also enjoyed how Iowa fought until the end and remained competitive.
The home is a multi-level structure. The first floor consists of a foyer. (Yeah, I watch House Hunters!) The first area is a living room with a television and two couches. Through an open entrance there is a hallway. A window is on the right, and there is a small room to the left. As Beyoncé would do, I went to the left. I entered the small room, which has a bed and a closet. The closet has some empty hangers, a large floor length mirror, and some extra pillows and linens. The next room is about the same size, also with a bed and small closet. Inside there is an air conditioner unit and some empty hangers. Across the hall from the 2nd bedroom is a bathroom. It’s a decent size with a toilet, sink, and bathtub. There are extra rolls of toilet paper on a shelf and some extra towels inside of an antique looking tin bucket. A few steps down the hall leads to a kitchen and dining room combo. The kitchen is fairly modern and the dining table has four sets of plates well organized for a lavish dinner. The appliances are stainless and the cabinets are filled with various foods and kitchen necessities. I had more than I needed and I was pleased with the choice of accommodation that I chose. There is also a butler’s closet near the table. (I don’t know if that is what the closet is called…I don’t be paying attention to House Hunters like that.) Next to the closet is a set of sliding doors, which lead to a rear deck with some seats. There are a set of stairs that lead to the backdoor and basement. Down six stairs and there is a landing. To the right is the backdoor with the basement to the left. I stepped outside and walked down a paved path alongside the grass-filled backyard. At the end of the property, there is a garage which is where I parked. The garage is located in an alley towards the rear of the property.
I then returned to the home and walked down the flight of stairs leading to the basement. It was semi-finished with a washer and dryer in one corner. The main space was fairly large and empty. I walked to the other end of the room and found an open doorway. I walked into the room and was surprised to find a chair with a small doll sitting in it. The first thought that came to my mind was, why the hell would someone leave that there? I was not amused. (I think we all saw enough horror films to know that leaving a doll on a chair in an empty basement for an unsuspecting kind-hearted individual to stumble upon is cruel and unusual.) I made the executive decision that the basement was not going to be an area that I would spend any significant amount of time.
Up the basement stairs and back to the main hallway. I walked up to the 2nd level via the large stairway and found myself inside a spacious room. There are two beds inside with several windows. There is a door leading to a bathroom, and a two-door closet with empty hangers and some extra pillows and linens. The bathroom is similar to the one on the first level with the same extras. At the far end of the room is a door. I opened it and found a small utility area. It is filled with several air-mattresses and a couple air pumps. There are more extra pillows and linens. I also found an ironing board and an iron. (This may not mean much to some of you wrinkled head asses, but I enjoy freshly ironed clothing!) The room will serve as a great extra space if a large group wants to rent the house, but was a bit much for my needs. I returned to the first level and chose the 2nd bedroom as mine for the duration of my stay. That ends the tour of the home.
*** One very important piece of information is the fact that my current apartment has something that will play a significant roll in scaring the bejesus out of me. There is something in the kitchen that is baffling to my cousin and I. One random February night, we started hearing a sound. It is a robotic sounding woman’s voice and she says, “low battery.” I had no idea what it was and assumed my cousin bought something new. A few days after hearing the frequent announcements, he asked me about the voice and I explained that it didn’t have anything to do with me. We have determined that it’s either a thermostat, or a fire detector. We haven’t looked into it because it’s a minor inconvenience that has become part of our living experience. ***
Back to our original program. I left the home and found a local sushi place where I ordered some food and drinks. I returned to the house and ate my meal while watching some television. I over did it with the sushi and managed to finish half of the food. I placed the leftovers in the refrigerator and prepared to leave once again. I drove to downtown Chicago and did some exploring. After a few hours in the windless city, I drove back to the house. I was exhausted because my flight from Boston departed at 7:57am, so my day started a little before 6am. The neighborhood is great…there was the perfect amount of peace and quiet that I required. The first night was uneventful. I fell asleep and woke up Monday morning feeling completely refreshed. I went back and forth with several options on the Airbnb app and was extremely pleased with my choice.
I am a car enthusiast and my first choice was to take a drive, north of the city, to a small town named Volo. There is a great car museum/dealership with an accompanying antiques mall. I am not 75 years old. I reiterate, I am not 75 years old. I swear, I am pretty sure I am not 75 years old. THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY IN HELL THAT I AM 75 YEARS OLD! I am not going to describe the museum. For those who are interested, use your googles and you can find all the information that you desire. I did have a hot dog, which is one of my favorite foods. (I don’t care if the under-intelligent generation call them glizzies.) My favorite car at the museum is a blue Chevy Corvette C6 Z06. It do get crazy when I go to the museum and see a C6 Z06…do your homework on American muscle cars. There were also some great classic 60’s and 70’s cars. I also had the pleasure of seeing 3 Duesenbergs, which made the entire trip worth every penny. There is also a rare Packard which was once shipped to England to have a special coach built. The museum was a great choice and I enjoyed viewing all of the exhibits. I returned to Chicago, and continued to explore the city. That evening, I ordered some more sushi and made my way back to the house.
I watched the men’s national championship game, which UConn won. Sorry for the spoiler for anyone who taped it and planned on watching it at a later date. I watched some YouTube videos then went to bed around 2am. The 2nd night was not as smooth as the first. Nothing too crazy happened, but I was annoyed by people who were hanging outside of the home, speaking loudly and being disruptive. It wasn’t a big deal, but my peace and quiet regulations require absolute silence and these people were in clear violation of the by-laws which they never agreed to.
Tuesday started pretty late; I woke up around eleven. I went out to get some drinks to go with my leftover sushi from Monday night’s overindulgence. I enjoyed the meal, watched some more YouTube videos, then prepared to make the drive to Milwaukee. I prefer to avoid highways during trips, because I like to see what the locals are up to. (I used the term “highway,” which was a topic of discussion while living in Los Angeles. The Angelinos prefer to use the word “freeway,” even though their state police are called the California Highway Patrol. Stop it! No they are not dumb. Stop it!) On the way to Milwaukee, I popped into the Circa Sportsbook near the Illinois-Wisconsin border and placed some bets. I lost my NBA parlay, but was more excited about Tiger Woods winning the Masters. I will win $3500, which was looking real good after the first two days, but on Saturday Tiger decided not to be my friend and he shot a million over par. Barring a miracle on Sunday, I will not be returning to Illinois, next week, to claim my money. I ended up being bored and picking the Celtics to win it all. I only bet $20, but the prize is only $10. I can tell you right now, I will not be flying to Illinois to claim my $30. If anyone wants to make some easy money, the bet slip is yours. (Just DM your mom…she’ll know how to reach me!)
I continued on to Milwaukee, which is one of the biggest and most luxurious cities on the planet. Ferrari police cars and Lamborghini taxis. I continued on to Milwaukee, a small midwestern city which is more to my liking than dealing with the traffic filled streets and hustle-and-bustle of a large city. (What? The bible can start with two different origin stories, but you have a problem with me beginning my paragraph with two different versions of the same city? Crazy!) I drove around exploring. The Brewers stadium looked pretty cool and I stopped at a target to relieve myself of the journey’s several beverages. They say you shouldn’t drink and drive, but it was a long journey and I like Monster energy drinks. Sorry…I am going to drink and drive. I found a parking garage near the venue, which turned out to be a gem. The lots around the arena were charging an extortionate $45, which I had no choice but to accept. I was heading towards the main lot and mistakenly pulled into the garage for the Marcus Performing Arts Center. Turns out the facility only charges $21. It was only 10% filled and I was worried that maybe I would get towed, but I guess it’s just a secret that most people don’t know about. If you ever attend a Buck’s home game…you’re welcome.
We don’t need to talk about the results of the game. The Celtics got their asses kicked. That was fun…listening to a bunch or Milwaukee morons chanting “Celtics suck.” I am not claiming that the fine citizens of Milwaukee are morons. I am stating that anyone who was at Fiserv Forum chanting about how much they believed the Celtics suck, are indeed morons. Anyway, I sat next a guy from Philadelphia and his friend from Dallas. Don’t ever worry about attending events by yourself. If you are not a weirdo, you’ll be fine. I excused myself a couple minutes before the final buzzer in order to beat the crowd and made it back safely to the car; those Celtics suck people did not look friendly. Overall, I was happy to attend an away game, even though the Celtics lost. The score was meaningless but I got to see the Jays complete highlight dunks which quieted the raucous crowd.
The drive back to Chicago was relaxing and uneventful. I drove around the city for a little exploration and ended up choosing to eat at a late night Taco Bell. I miss the authentic Mexican food from LA and this was the closest I was going to get. Just kidding to all of the authentic Mexican restaurants in Chicago. I hadn’t had Taco Bell in several years and it was quick and easy. I returned to the house and enjoyed my food while watching some YouTube videos. Around 2am, I went to the room to call it a night. As the ancient prophets prophesized the coming of the hero Moses to free the Israelites from the Pharaoh’s bondage, I feel like this night was prophesized by the oracle known to us as ILoveMakonnen, who told everyone that it was going up on a Tuesday. I just didn’t know he meant the hairs on my body…more context next time, good man. PLEASE!
I was in the bed with the door closed, when I heard a sound that stood all of the hair on my body…I was frozen for a moment. In the darkness of the empty home, far away from Boston, I heard the familiar robotic sounding woman’s voice say, “low battery.” (As I wrote that line, I felt the exact fear that I felt while lying in that bed, in that empty house. I am definitely terrified right now and my PTSD is at the highest level. I was told that maybe the ghost followed me back to Boston, which I don’t know if that’s actually a thing, but right now, it feels like that is a thing. Especially with our low battery going off every now and again, in the back ground.) I am going to pause for station Identification. I need to watch something funny before continuing this story. Hope you are not reading this, alone, in a dark room. Note to self: Writing this at 1:30am is not the smartest thing. Don’t do that again.
Back from our break. Rocky III is in the DVD player, I’m all good. I promise, just because I am watching a DVD does not mean I am 75 years old. I quickly shook it off and pretended as if I didn’t hear anything. I was in that half-asleep, half-awake mode where weird things can happen so I just attributed what I heard to being in a dreamlike state. A few seconds passed and I heard it again. “Low battery.” I sat up in bed, clearly not in any dream state. I heard it once more, a third time. “Low battery.” I couldn’t believe it, this wasn’t cool. Why was this happening…I just wanted to see the Celtics. I’m sorry! I was wrong, the people who chanted Celtics suck are not morons. In fact, they are wonderful and incredible…model citizens if you will. I decided to go to the bathroom and take a piss. While in the bathroom I heard it again, “low battery!” This time there was no mistaking it, and for the first time ever, it was loud and clear. Louder than I ever heard the voice, previously…it echoed through the empty hallway. It was as if something was making sure that I was well aware that this was real and I was not going to be able to ignore it. I shook it off once more and heard it again, “low battery.” This time it was back to the normal level; I was terrified.
I returned to the room and closed the door. I climbed back into the bed and hoped for the best. The message was over. I opened up YouTube on my phone and found one of the black screen videos with rain noises and thunderstorms. The video was 10 hours long and I set the volume pretty high. I listened to the storm and hoped the morning would come as soon as possible. For some strange reason, the battery was no longer low. There were no more announcements from the robotic woman’s voice. The message was over, but the night terror was not. At a volume which was slightly louder than the YouTube video, I heard some noises. It was clear and distinct. Someone was experiencing sexual pleasure. There was a woman’s voice, attempting to keep from being heard and panting. I would hear, “yes,” and whispery moans. I raised the volume on the phone and the woman raised her volume; just slightly above the video’s. The voice was coming from the central air vent. This would have been completely normal if there were people staying in one of the other rooms, but I was in the house by myself…there were no people. At least not any that I could see. This continued for a while but there was nothing that I could do. I just had to tell myself a story to distract from what was taking place and pretend that I couldn’t hear what I definitely was hearing. That’s the benefit of having a creative mind; I can simply escape whatever situation by simply telling myself a story. Eventually, I fell asleep and the ordeal was over…it was 10am and I didn’t have to worry about the voices, any longer.
It was Wednesday. Tuesday was behind me, thankfully. For some reason, the house was fine during the daylight. There was some fear, but it was minimal, in comparison. Walking by the stairs to the 2nd level was always an uneasy feeling. Similarly, walking by the stairs to the basement was a little more uneasy. There is not enough money in the world to convince me to go down those stairs to the basement…that doll was on her own. I watched some YouTube videos then left to go visit a 2nd car museum. For some reason, when I got there, I wasn’t in the mood. I decided I would return on the following day and just take some time to relax. I got some food and returned to the house. I sat on the couch watching videos and tried my best to enjoy the day. All of a sudden, I heard four loud bangs. I sat there paralyzed for a few seconds. I thought, maybe the owner of the house is at the back door; I justified the sound. I walked through the hallway and looked out the back window, but there was no owner. I rushed back through the hallway and looked out the front window. Maybe he was at the front door. I saw a young man walking away from the house towards a Mustang. I walked outside and saw a box of pizza with a smaller box, probably containing sides. I yelled out, “this isn’t mine…I didn’t order pizza.” He walked back to the house and mentioned the address. “Yes, that is the right address, but I didn’t order anything.” I said. I looked at the receipt and noticed the mistake. This was north, and he wanted south. Honest mistake. He thanked me and left. Of all the days for that mistake to be made, why this day? I was already feeling uneasy; I didn’t need that scare. I stayed for about an hour, then went out exploring.
During my time in Chicago, I got to see a lot of the city. I wanted to go see the famous Bean called Cloud Gate. Making it to the statue was a struggle. For some reason, I was having trouble synching with the GPS. I kept taking the wrong turn, or getting into the wrong lane and I couldn’t figure it out. Eventually, I ended up driving by the statue, but I didn’t realize it until the last second and only got a quick glimpse of it. I circled around the block again and kept having the same problems. After another wrong turn, I decided that the universe was telling me to stay away from that statue. I didn’t fight it and continued on my way. I googled a couple more locations that I wanted to see then headed back to the house. I sat on the couch, in the living room, in the early evening and the uneasiness returned. It wasn’t like the morning…the home becomes a different place once the light begins to dissipate. I just had an overwhelming feeling to get out of that place. For dinner, I decided to try a Chicago deep dish pizza. I did my googles and found a place which was highly rated and fairly close. At a glance, I estimated that the pizzeria was about a 10 minute drive.
I entered the car, found the restaurant on my phone once more and follwed the directions. A half an hour later, I was close to downtown Chicago. I was so preoccupied with the house that I ended up entering the right name, but the wrong location. I had to find the correct pizzaria and reroute myself. I decided to call and place my order over the phone rather than ordering at the restaurant. I asked for a pizza with pepperoni and pineapple. The woman on the other end said, “we don’t have pineapple.” I replied, is that a your restaurant thing or a Chicago thing? She answered, “yeah, we don’t do that.” I settled on a pepperoni pizza. I then drove to the nearest supermarket and bought some fresh cut pineapples. I got my pizza without giving the establishment a piece of my mind and I returned to the house. I sat on the couch, grabbed a knife and sliced up the pineapples. I placed them on the pizza and took a few bites. The entire time, I was extremely uneasy. I was very uncomfortable being in that house. I tried to watch a movie, but I just didn’t feel like it. I put on a YouTube video and the events from the previous night commenced, once more.
I heard the voice. “Low Battery.” This time it was very low and barely audible. It was only the one time. That’s when I heard a second message. “Peter.” It was a very low whisper. I heard it again. “Peter.” I tried to ignore it; I tried to focus on the video. It was only 8:20pm and things were already getting out of hand. Everything in my body was telling me to get out of that house. I wanted to stay for a couple more hours, in order to shorten the night, but I just couldn’t. I heard it again, “Peter.” It was a little louder and a little more forceful. Again. “Peter.” I stood up from the couch and got dressed. The entire time I was petrified. I left as fast as I could, while attempting to appear like everything was normal. I wanted to make it seem as if I was leaving because I had plans; I didn’t want to anger the entity.
I didn’t have an appetite and the pizza was sitting in the box, only missing a couple bites. I placed it in the fridge and left. I drove to Wrigley field and took in the sites. The cubs were out of town, so I couldn’t attend a game. I stayed out as long as I could, but I was sleepy. A little before 3am, I started heading back to the house. I parked the car and thought about going inside. I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t bring myself to walk into that home. I made another executive decision…I was sleeping in the car. The garage is not attached to the house so it felt a little safer. Exhausted, I opened up YouTube and played the same black screen storm video from the previous night. I was close enough to the house that I still felt uneasy, but sitting in that 5 Series was better than walking into that house. I listened to the sounds of rain and thunder as I fell asleep. A few minutes before 8am, I woke up and decided to go back into the house. I went into the bedroom and fell asleep. The noises returned, but it wasn’t the horrible ones. I just had to endure the annoying people; the ones from Monday who hang out around the home’s perimeter and talk loudly. The only difference was the fact that on Monday, I actually thought they existed; I now knew better. I listened to the thunderstorm video and fell back asleep. The ordeal was over, once again.
I woke up around 1pm and got ready for the day. I made my way to the couch and turned on ESPN. The Masters was on. I watched the coverage and was able to Follow Tiger Woods for most of his round. I finished the deep dish pizza, which I thoroughly enjoyed. (If you don’t like pineapples on your pizza, I… I am older and more mature. I am not going to say what I want to say, but just understand that even though I am not going to spew any vitriol towards you, it is indeed directed at you and exists in an alternate universe. I am certain that you are not a good person.)
I sat in that house and did my best to ignore the random noises. I wasn’t in the home. I was in Augusta, Georgia; I was at the Masters. For some reason, I didn’t feel too bad being in that house, while watching the tournament. Once the coverage ended, just before 9pm, I left the home. I decided to take a trip down to the southside of Chicago. Most people would probably tell you not to visit the southside, but I didn’t have any fears or concerns. There was nothing that I was going to experience that would be as bad as being in that house; the trip was a respite. I took in the sites and got some food. I found a highly rated American restaurant and ordered a hot dog with fries. I made my way north and ended up back at the house a little after 1am.
This would be the last night. Soon it will all be over. I walked in, full of fear. I thought about what I wanted to do. Should I wait and pack in the morning, or should I pack during the night? I didn’t want to reveal that I was leaving; I didn’t want the incidents to intensify. I wanted to wait until the morning, but it just made more sense to pack my things and be ready to leave…I didn’t want to forget anything.
Luckily, I didn’t have to go upstairs. I also, didn’t have to go to the basement. I took out the garbage and placed it in the bin, which is in the alley on outside of the garage. I also brought my carry-on luggage and placed it in the trunk of the car. I walked back in and finished packing my main bag. I ignored hearing the noises while I prepared everything, but it was difficult to keep walking through that hallway and hearing my name called out repeatedly, “Peter.” About an hour went by and it was a little after 2am. There was nothing left for me to do, other than set my alarm and get some sleep. I closed the door, and got into the bed. I turned on my black screen thunderstorm video, and hoped to fall asleep, but that was never going to happen. The noises returned and they varied. First, I’d hear my name, “Peter.” Then I’d be reminded about the status of the battery. “Low battery.” I just did my best to ignore it, but they got louder. I raised the volume of the video, but I could still hear the noises. “Low battery.” I didn’t understand why the battery only got low during the night. The level seemed pretty fine during the daylight. I guess that is just how some batteries work…you know them ones.
I continued to try and fall asleep, but my mind was racing and I couldn’t ignore the noises. “Peter.” I closed my eyes and vowed to ignore the sounds. That’s when I started to hear someone press up against the door. Then someone stepped away from the door. Then someone stepped towards the door. Then someone pressed up against the door. The voices continued. “Low battery.” Then I heard the voice come from the opposite side of the room. It came through the vent, only there was no vent on that side of the room. “Peter.” It continued. “Low Battery.” Then it came from the side with the vent. “Peter.” Just get through this last night and everything will be fine, I thought. That’s when it happened, something moved me. My entire body was shifted towards the head of the bed. It was brief. It was subtle. It was unmistakable.
I was paralyzed with fear. I didn’t know what to do. I just didn’t want it to continue. The noises were one thing, but physical touch was a realm that I wasn’t prepared to continue experiencing. I thought about getting dressed and returning to the 5 series; it was my sanctuary. A place where I can escape from the bad. I then thought about how much more comfortable the bed was. I got up and went to the bathroom to urinate. “Low battery.” I returned to the room, full of fear and I said, “This isn’t cool.” I said it out loud.
I got in the bed. Turned on my black screen thunderstorm YouTube video and did my best to ignore the noises. The pressing up against the door continued. The vent noises continued. This time, it went back to the sex sounds. I did my best to ignore them. I did my best to fall asleep. I turned up the volume on the video, but had to lower it. I set my alarm and if the video was playing at a high volume, I would not be able to hear the alarm. I began telling myself a story, doing my best to ignore the noises.
I eventually fell asleep. The night was over. I woke up without the alarm going off. I was worried. What time was it? How long did I oversleep? I grabbed my phone and it was 7:08am. My alarm was set for 7:06am…I slept through the sound, but woke up anyway. I went to the bathroom and was startled by a loud sound. I was terrified. Thankfully, it was daylight and the noise was my alarm going off. 7:11am. 5 minute reminder. I turned off the phone and returned to the bathroom. I prepared for the day and was ready to leave. Bag packed, I left the house. For the last time, hopefully. Never say never, they say. I drove to drop off the rental and took an Uber to O’hare. The trip was over. I survived my stay at the Chicago Airbnb. Don’t go to Chicago they say…it’s a dangerous city. I beg to differ. I think it’s a scary city.
This story has not been embellished. If anything, I probably missed a few details. I left a five star review, because the house was actually great. I just don’t recommend staying there by oneself. The truth is, I actually don’t know how I stayed in that home for as long as I did. I am the one who watches these types of tales and I thinks the people are crazy. I thought the first sign of any type of paranormal activity, I would run far away, but I stayed. I don’t know how or why, but I stayed. I think we all have a natural curiosity about the occult, and I guess I wanted to have some sort of experience.
Thanks to the YouTube black screen thunderstorm videos. Thanks to the white 5 Series BMW. Thanks to pineapples on pizza. I survived. Would you?
“Low Battery!”
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