People often use the term “Unconditional Love” when speaking about the love they have for someone who they consider to be exceptional. The word unconditional is added in order to show that the love is extra special. To me, saying Unconditional love is being redundant. The way I see it, all love is unconditional. The love we have for parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, nieces, our children, and friends, is unconditional. (I know I said “Our Children,” but I was speaking in general. Virgins don’t make babies! *@Efidalgo12 is a jerk! See below.*)
We can even develop a love for an ex, but the love has nothing to do with the desire to be in a relationship with the person; the love is unconditional and is the same as the love that we have for friends and family. (The biggest mistake people make is allowing the love for an ex to confuse them. If you dated someone for a long time, they will always have a place in your heart, but it doesn’t mean you should fight to be with the ex, or that the ex is “the one.” Accept the fact that you care for your ex and move on. Let the past relationship go and cultivate a new one!) We will love all of the special people who enter our lives for as long as we still have a breath to breathe!
“What about when we are no longer friends with someone; doesn’t the love end?” NO! If you lose the “love” that you had for a former friend, the person was never a true friend and you never loved them. It is impossible to stop loving a friend. True friendship involves unconditional love; friendship is for life. (People often call an associate a “friend,” but the truth of the matter is the friendship is more fragile than a falling snowflake touched, in mid-descent, by an exuberant child during the year’s first snowfall!)
“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer!” Don’t ever do this; it’s a dumb statement. Who the hell wants to keep their enemies close? The best thing to do is avoid having enemies. Life is way too short to be worried about what other people think of you. If someone wants to be your enemy, simply allow the person to be non-existent in your life! (Don’t be fake. Tell the person you do not have time for their nonsense and don’t allow yourself to get involved in their pettiness!)
“How can you say, ‘Love doesn’t exist,’ and then say, ‘all love is unconditional;’ ARE YOU INSANE?” NO! When I said love doesn’t exist, I was referring to relationships. I have defined all love as unconditional, which excludes all relationships from involving true love. Relationships are one hundred percent conditional; a relationship is a verbal contract. Two consenting adults agree to join together on a quest for happiness. (Some couples make it to the promise land, but most fail miserably!) It takes real commitment and trust to have a successful relationship. It’s basically like a recovering addict. The couple has to take things one day at a time, because any big mistake can ruin the relationship on any given day. All of the hard work that was exerted to build a wonderful union can be destroyed in an instance with one selfish decision.
People who believe in true love are placing themselves at a disadvantage. The belief in true love can force people to stay in unhealthy relationships. DON’T EVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE MISTREATED! The only pain that should exist in a relationship, involves being away from your partner; regardless of what the songs say, being in love doesn’t hurt! We all deserve to be considered special by a partner! Most importantly, never ever get married to someone for the wrong reasons. (Never being married has to be better than being married to the wrong person and getting a divorce!) People often talk about having “cold feet!” If you have cold feet, don’t get married; it’s not normal. If you are engaged to the right person, the two of you should be excited and running towards the altar. If having cold feet was normal, we wouldn’t have a divorce rate that is over fifty percent. (For more on marriage, read my previous post ‘My Proposal To Save Marriage’ – July 1st.)
My views will probably cause people to make the assumption that I do not believe in two people joining together and enjoying a long lasting committed relationship. Don’t ever assume! Have you already forgotten last week’s lesson? (Those who assume, make an ASS out of U and ME!) I’m not some bitter, heart-broken person with a hatred of love. I enjoy life and I do believe in wonderful relationships that can blossom into great marriages, which last forever. (Of course forever means until death. We have no idea what happens upon expiration. *That has to be the most horrible term for death!*) Who wouldn’t want to find a great life-long partner? I’m just not overly concerned with finding a woman with whom I will vow to have repeated one-night stands. (Again, that has to be the worst description of a committed relationship known to man!) I don’t believe there is a special person for everyone. You meet someone and, together, you become special for each other; there is no fate or “meant to be!” (That’s psycho talk!)
What people call love, should really be called “in love.” Those who are in relationships can be in love, but it is never the true unconditional love that I discussed earlier; ‘in love’ can end whenever the relationship sours. In love, is probably one of the most misunderstood emotions known to man. Society places too much emphasis on falling in love, which causes people to force themselves to think they are in love. FYI: In love cannot occur at first sight; that’s called “in lust.” In love takes time and I mean a lot of time. (Only psychos fall in love too soon! Run for the hills if someone falls in love with you before they truly know who you are!) *I don’t know what makes “the hills” a safe place for people to run to, but we’re always being told to run for the hills!*
I hope this entry has explained my views on love. Please allow me to paraphrase Forrest Gump when I say, “Love is like a box of chocolates!” It gets old and stale. At that point, all we want is a new box! (Pun most definitely intended!)
Please disregard the above statement. I don’t think being in love gets old and stale…at least not if it’s a great relationship. (The quote popped into my head and I couldn’t resist the temptation of sharing!) Lucky are those who find an amazing partner to share life experiences. For they have a wealth far greater than the US deficit!
**Let me explain the whole @Efidalgo12 statement from above. The guy actually used his monumental two thousand and eleventh tweet to take a shot at me.
@Efidalgo12: S/O to my 2011th tweet. The next time my # of tweets will coincide with the year will be around the time @PeteTeix617 loses his virginity.
Boy, I’ll tell you. These Miami fans have a lot of pent-up anger. It’s not my fault The U sucks!
There is no shame in waiting for the right person!**
GO GATORS!!!
@PeteTeix617
Wacky Pete's Wicked & Wonderful Words of Wis-dumb 
I see your point, thank for explaining. “keep you friends close, but your enemies closer” statement is true, I use it all the time. At work there is a guy, who thinks he knows It all. He will throw you under the bus any chance he gets. I pretent we are friends so if I fuck something up. He’ll gently place me in front of the bus.
Ha ha! I guess being gently placed in front of the bus is better, but I don’t need to be around anyone who considers themselves my enemy.
Lmcvao @ the U lol
Keep it up
Thanks!
It’s like that shakespeare sonnet 116,
“Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved. ”
…or maybe not i have no fkin clue but it sounds good.
For a second, it sounded like you were about to enlighten us.
Ok, now you’re talking…writing.
The hills are safe because back in the day most bullies had short stubby legs so it made it difficult for them to climb, hence running up to the hills became the thing to do! You can look it up, but I wouldn’t. Let’s just go with that. You’re Welcome.
Ha ha. I’ll go with that answer! Glad I was able to explain my opinion!
Honestly speaking I think YOUR problem, because I truly believe your thoughts and opinions stem from internal insecurities and lack of proper and lengthy early childhood parental affection, is that you have had the misfortune and alarmingly sad life of someone who has never truly loved or been both correctly and deeply loved by someone else.
Because had you had the opportunity to really know what it feels like to make love to someone whom you would like to spend the rest of your life making love to, or waking up near the person who understands you and makes you smile regardless of the unfortunate hardships of life, then you would know that being in a relationship is more than as you stated, ” You meet someone and, together, you become special for each other; there is no fate or “meant to be!”
Whilst I agree that perhaps “meant to be” is a fictional account designed by Hollywood to lure moviegoers into lucrative box-office, I must disagree with your cynicism, lack of compassion and just complete disrespect towards the sacred act that is to love someone else and to be loved back (and I do not mean familial or parental love).
First of all, I don’t have a problem. I am simply stating my beliefs. You are entitled to your own opinions.
“Honestly speaking I think YOUR problem, because I truly believe your thoughts and opinions stem from internal insecurities and lack of proper and lengthy early childhood parental affection, is that you have had the misfortune and alarmingly sad life of someone who has never truly loved or been both correctly and deeply loved by someone else.”
This is a great statement, but it does not apply to me! Sorry! I come from a great loving family. I received all of the love and affection that any child could desire. In fact, anyone who knows me would tell you that I was spoiled as a child, and I continue to be spoiled. I do not have a sad life, not even close. I love my life and I enjoy every minute. I think you’re making the mistake of thinking that I am against love, which I am not. I just know that love doesn’t exist in relationships. I am all about people finding someone to spend the rest of their lives with. I just know it has nothing to do with love. Relationships are built, not predestined!
Again, anyone who knows me will tell you that I am an extremely fun person to be around. And for the record, I have been “deeply loved by someone else.” I know what that feels like.
This was the most entertaining and hilarious comment yet! (I am literally laughing out loud!) Your comment is full of emotion, but no sense of reality. It’s great that you believe in true love and I honestly hope that you find your “special someone,” but I’ll keep thinking the way I do and my life will continue to be wonderful!
It is important to understand that everything I write comes from my education, and nothing is based on painful past incidents. I accept that people have faults and I move on. My writing is void of emotion, because emotion clouds judgement. I write the truth. It’s difficult for some people to handle what I write because the truth hurts. What you are suggesting is that a person can “make love to someone whom you would like to spend the rest of your life making love to,” and that person is incapable of hurting the lover. That is a naive statement. People are human and anyone can make a mistake. What happens in your perfect scenario if one of the people is unfaithful? Is the person who is hurt supposed to be forgiving and continue in the relationship. That’s not for me!
Nothing I wrote was disrespectful. I am cautioning people to judge their partners on how he or she treats them, and not to rely on some mythical fantasy. We live in the real world which is complicated. For your sake, I hope you never have to experience the hardships of losing your “special someone,” because you are not prepared to deal with the loss.
Thanks for the comment, I truly enjoyed the laugh!
since you’ve been “deeply loved by someone,” now i’m wondering if you have ever “deeply loved someone,” (i.e. a partner, not family/friends!). if relationships have nothing to do with love, than what does it consist of?
…”People are human and anyone can make a mistake. What happens in your perfect scenario if one of the people is unfaithful? Is the person who is hurt supposed to be forgiving and continue in the relationship. That’s not for me!”
so if you made a mistake, would you not want to be forgiven and taken back? or if you were, would you no longer accept the relationship? or what if it was the other way around, your partner made a mistake, but wants you back?! hmmm, let’s twist things around a bit, what if it’s family and or friends instead of a partner?
in the end, life is about learning from our mistakes and forgiving each other, b/c after all we’re only humans!
I would say that I have been in love, but life happens and relationships sour. Relationships consist of two people who agree to work together towards a common goal. I know it doesn’t sound romantic, but I am speaking from an anthropological view point. Romance can exist in a relationship, but it doesn’t have to, which is why I leave it out.
I was flipping through the channels and I stopped at an international film which caught my eye. There was a woman speaking to her grandmother and she asked, “Grandma, have you ever loved anyone other than grandpa?” The response was, “NO. I have only loved your grandfather, but I had to learn to love him; I married him because I had to. In my day, if a woman didn’t have a skill, she only had two choices, marriage or prostitution.” Obviously this example is sad, but it is the reality of the world we live in. Many people who are old and married are assumed to be in love, but sometimes people get married for reasons other than falling in love.
If I made a mistake and cheated, I don’t deserve to be forgiven. Anyone who accepts being cheated on, will probably be cheated on again. (We teach people how to treat us!) People believe in true love and they allow themselves to be abused. If a person considers his or her partner to be truly special, there will be no infidelity. That has nothing to do with love; it’s just common sense. Why would anyone hurt someone who they want to spend the rest of their lives with? The fact that someone cheated on a partner is a clear sign that the person is not in love. People can make mistakes and return to create a healthy long lasting relationship, but the odds are extremely low. Forgiveness is up to each individual. I would advise against taking back a cheater, but people are free to live and learn for themselves!
Family and friends are different because in those relationships there is an unconditional love. (I said all this in the post!) You have no choice but to forgive someone who you love unconditionally; hence the use of the word unconditional! Relationships have conditions.
My goal is not to convince you that love doesn’t exist. I am simply stating a fact. You can disagree if you want, but that doesn’t change reality.
good job! i enjoyed reading this post and am glad you finally gave us an explanation of what love means to you. personally, i find love to be complicated, whether it’s love for my family and friends or a partner and in the end if people are not “eye to eye” relationships become complex and or “cease to exist.” …now, about the concept of “in love.” what do you think of the statement, “i love you, but i’m not in love you.”? i agree with some of your statements (i.e. lust vs. love), however i think that everyone has his/her own pace and sometimes people can develop deeper connections than others. also, compatibility plays a key when being in love. …one more thing, do you believe that love can be, “rekindled?”
Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed the post.
To me, when people say, “i love you, but i’m not in love you.” they are being genuine. It is possible to develop an unconditional love for a partner, but at the same time, you can realize that the relationship is not working. This has to be a difficult statement to hear, but life is hard sometimes. If someone says this, it’s best to move on and find someone else who will be in love with you.
I do believe that it is possible for two people who were in love to rekindle the bond that they shared. For this to be accomplished, it is important to address the past problems, then move on and leave them in the past. The couple will be two different people with new experiences, so they have to create a new bond.
Thanks for the comment!
Hey Wacky Pete, can u stop using the ASS-U-ME thingy that we all learned in the seventh grade…I’m getting tired of it…this is my blog too u know!
Sorry, I’ll make a note to stop. By the way, I only did it twice!
“love is not an emotion, it’s a decision”
relationship takes work. A lot of times you get annoyed by your other half but it doesn’t mean you don’t love them. That is unconditional love. You can love someone but you don’t have to go through the disrespect! you don’t have to hate them, but got to let them go. This blog was real and the truth does hurt. come on let’s keep it real cause life is too short to live in fantasy and prince charming does not exist! it’s about 2 people making a conscious decision that they choose to be with each other because they like each other and think it’s worth the time
Great quote!
hmmm interesting, people must learn to use logic when it comes to love. We sometimes think about our hearts as decision makers….I feel our hearts to be guides and our minds to make decisions. Your heart could be in one thing and your mind on another but in the end the way u think about the situation determines how u will FEEL after. Overall, interesting post!
Thanks. Well said!