Second Chance Sunday {XXXIII}


My McDonald’s, from July 26th, 2011!




These Things Happen

In this post, I hope to clear up some misconceptions. I also want to give a better understanding of why I think the way I do.

For some reason, there are those who seem to think that I am some angry, bitter person who writes in order to take out my frustrations on all that is godly and good. This probably stems from the fact that I cut through the bullshit and speak in terms of what is actually happening in the real world. I haven’t gone through any traumatic life changing experiences which hardened my heart and caused me to be anti-everything. Yes, I almost died in a car accident, but I recovered and I am enjoying every day; the incident could have turned out much worse. I’ve also lost loved ones, but there is nothing I can do to bring anyone back, so I feel it is pointless to worry about “what could have been.” The sooner a person is able to move on from tragedy, the better life will be. (Remember the good times, not the Titans!) I have the ability to move on from any situation because I accept things for what they are…THESE THINGS HAPPEN!

Every single post I write is the result of me observing human behavior; I never write out of anger. In fact, I am usually laughing uncontrollably at some of the material. (I truly enjoy the creative process.) Some people assume that I have an agenda to make others convert to my way of thinking, but I am simply sharing my views. People are free to believe what they want. (There is no shame in being wrong.)

As far as “god” is concerned, my atheism comes from education. I don’t have any ax to grind and I don’t blame “god” for my accident; I just know he doesn’t exist. I guess I am able to think the way I do because I like who I am. I enjoy life and I don’t seek-out happiness through others. If this seems like a foreign concept to you, it’s probably because you don’t like who you are and you are trying to be someone else, in order to please others. BE YOURSELF! If people don’t like you, everything will be OK…THESE THINGS HAPPEN!

I am no introvert, but I can find entertainment in any situation, even if I am alone. When it comes to having a vivid imagination, I take the cake. Imagine some of the creativity on this blog, and multiply it by a million; I like my company. (I never understood what the hell “takes the cake” means. Who the heck takes a cake?) I can recall having to hide my face at funerals because I was laughing. I have so many random thoughts running through my mind, which causes me to find humor in every single situation. It seems that my brain is always geared towards comedy.

THESE THINGS HAPPEN is a motto that I live by, and it allows me to move on after any situation. I’m not heartless…I’m practical. I live in the moment and acknowledge the fact that any hardship that I may suffer, pales in comparison to what others around the world may be going through. I have a great life and I do my best not to “sweat the small stuff!” My plan is to move to LA. Maybe something will occur which causes me to abort the mission; no one knows what will happen in the future so why waste your time worrying? The one thing I can be certain of, is the fact that I will be fine regardless of what happens.

Some of my posts may cause people to think that I lack the ability to be compassionate, but that’s an incorrect assumption. (We all know what happens when we assume…Just kidding!) I understand that people have their problems, but this world doesn’t revolve around each individual’s hardships. People have to grasp reality or the real world will swallow them up. (By the real world, I am not talking about MTV’s hit series.)

Sometimes I find it difficult to care about the trivial problems of the average American, when people all over the world are living in unimaginable poverty. I get it, your boss is a “jerk-face” who doesn’t appreciate all of the hard work that you perform and your co-workers are worthless idiots. Not to mention all of your haters. It’s just difficult for me to care about your complaints when there are women suffering through extreme conditions in India. No matter what horrible un-imaginable hardship that you are faced with, I can give you an example of how your situation can be a lot worst. (Remember that the earth revolves around the sun, not your life!)

How am I supposed to care about your gripes, when Indian women are forced into prostitution in order to earn enough money to feed their malnourished children? Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the fact that the customers, mostly male truck drivers, refuse to use condoms due to a lack of education. These men only pay a quarter one some occasions, and there are many children who are born with AIDS. The latest numbers revealed that 85% of working girls are infected…THESE THINGS HAPPEN!

I know it may sound like the last paragraph was directed at a specific complainer, but it wasn’t; I am speaking in general. Everyone needs to realize what actually occurs in this world and stop acting like they are going through real hardships. I can write about other atrocities in this world, but I’m sure people get the picture.

One of the most unnecessary and time consuming complaints has to do with “haters.” All of the sudden, this world is filled with haters. Everyone is so important and they have these haters that no one else can seem to find; stop reading into everything that others write or say. (Your haters exist in your head! Stop blaming imaginary haters for your lack of drive and ambition.) Your professor wasn’t a hater and he or she isn’t a racist. You half-assed your paper and you received the grade that you deserved…THESE THINGS HAPPEN!

If you see a comment from someone else who you determine is a directed at you, let it go. If the person is too much of a coward to speak about you directly, why would you care about their opinion? People waste so much energy on negativity and fail focus on the things which will actually benefit their lives. You might also hear what a hater may or may not have said, from a third party. Again, if the person doesn’t say it to you, let it go. Don’t concern yourselves with the words of the weak. (Pride will always be the detriment of success. Humble yourselves and do what must be done to accomplish goals.)

If you actually work hard and gain success, never rub it in the faces of those who you perceive to be a hater. Don’t acknowledge those who wish to see you fail; kill them with kindness. Classless is the person who is ungraceful in triumph. Don’t allow the naysayers to believe that they motivated you to improve yourself; the desire to be at your best should come from within. (Sports are different. Although it is classless for athletes to be arrogant winners, I strongly condone the behavior. Celebrate however you see fit—you earned it!)

There are people in this world who have no chance to succeed because they are filled with negativity. Allow them to retard their own progress in life and move forward. Acknowledging their doubtful words, or responding to any of their nonsense, brings you down to their level. There are too many people worrying about others hating on them…let go of the gibberish. When you complain about haters, you make yourself seem petty.

It seems like the people who are always involved in useless drama, are those who “have haters.” It’s truly amusing how drama seems to always find the same individuals. It’s time to take a long look in the mirror and realize that there is one common denominator…YOU! I do my best to remove myself from drama, because I truly don’t care; people come and people go. (This may seem harsh, but it’s true. There is no need to have someone in your life who is constantly trying to bring you down. Let that person ruin someone else’s life!)

I also never hear any negative words spoken about me. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen; I simply don’t care to know. I also don’t read into every single tweet or status update looking for a hidden meaning. If person A says, “people with blue shirts are losers,” I don’t try and recall an incident in which I had on a blue shirt in the company of person A. The posting was not about me because my name was not mentioned. (Do you see how easy it is to avoid the drama? Some people seem to seek out the drama because it keeps them feeling relevant; a truly sad fact.)

I am against allowing emotions to guide the decision making process because emotions cloud judgment. I understand that everyone has emotions. (Yes, even me.) There is nothing that can be done to prevent things from happening. There is a tradition of making people feel guilty for moving on, which is ridiculous. Dealing with the loss of a loved one is a personal matter…GRIEVE HOWEVER YOU SEE FIT! Here is an example of the negative effects caused by emotions and traditional expectations.

Scenario 1:

Darren is a star football player for his small town high school. His dad has been his biggest supporter, and next Friday will be the most important game of the season. Darren is good, but he is not a top recruit. Luckily, the head coach from the state University will be in attendance and Darren has an opportunity to receive a scholarship. Dad drives Darren to and from practice each and every day, and he is extremely excited for the upcoming game.

On Monday, Darren returns home from a hard practice and finds out that his dad was involved in an accident at work; he died. The funeral is set for Friday, and Darren has a tough decision to make; he can either play in the game or attend the funeral. What should Darren do? (Yes, I named the kid Darren because I am watching the Broncos lose and I hate McFadden!)

For me the solution is simple. Darren should continue to practice and only grieve when he is home with his family. Darren should play in the game and skip the funeral. “Why?” Because attending the funeral is unnecessary. It’s a ritual which only pleases others; his dad is in a wooden box. More than likely, the dad no longer exists; even if there is life after death, he would much rather watch his son play in the game than watch him cry at the funeral. Others may think Darren should attend the funeral, but others are wrong. (Others are usually always wrong. THINK FOR YOURSELF!) Don’t allow emotions to cloud judgment. Darren worked his whole life for his dreams and he should not throw everything away for some silly ritual. (Yes, the entire concept of funerals is a silly one.)

Detaching oneself from emotions is difficult, but necessary if you want to avoid the pitfalls of life. Tonight, my beloved Denver Broncos lost to our hated rivals, but I am fine with the results. I love our new defense, and I believe that the offense will clean things up and perform better. More importantly, I have all that I require to live comfortably in this world! Football (NFL) is only a game. Enjoy the trash-talk and drink responsibly. Always try to look on the positive side…THESE THINGS HAPPEN!

**College football is way more than just a game!**

P.S. If at any point, while you were reading this entry, you felt as if I am talking indirectly about you, YOU ARE RETARDED. I hope this post was enlightening, but if it wasn’t…THESE THINGS HAPPEN!


My McDonald’s

Recently, I decided to follow some great advice; I wanted a burger and I remembered the suggestion to try this place called McDonald’s. What a convenient concept; there is a drive-thru option. I couldn’t believe it! I didn’t even have to leave the car. Amazing! This place is going to do big things in the future.


I ordered the Big Mac meal, their number one best seller. I opened the bag and the fries were perfect. Exceptionally salted and warm. Unfortunately, the burger, the reason why I went to the place, was a huge disappointment. The pickles were in the wrong place, the sauce was less than normal, and the amount of lettuce was absurd. (If I wanted to eat healthy I wouldn’t have ordered the Big Mac!) The entire premise of the McDonald’s franchise is consistency. The goal is to ensure that a person can buy a burger in Boston on Monday, fly to Chicago on Friday and enjoy the exact same burger. Somewhere along the line, the memo must have been lost. The inconsistency from one location to the next is killing me.

The burger wasn’t the only problem. Some genius at McDonald’s decided it would be a great idea to have two drive-thru lanes. There are different designs depending on the location. In Quincy, for instance, the drive-thru lanes are connected so two cars can order at the same time. “Great, Right?” No! Horrible idea. There is only one person working both lanes which defeats the purpose. Better yet, since 2003, I can’t remember the first lane ever working.

The McDonald’s near exit 18 on I93 is even worse. I think the person who designed it is a complete jerk. The lanes are side by side, and there is a sign which reads, “Any Lane, Anytime!” During rush hour, there are two people working the lanes so the concept actually works. The problem lies in the off-peak hours. One employee will usually be assigned to handle both lanes, and instead of alternating between the first and second, it’s a free-for-all. There is no way of telling which lane will move faster. The employees seem to pick cars as they please. (I honestly believe they pick, according to which car will cause the most anger to the others, who are forced to wait obscene amounts of time.) I actually watched three cars order from the other lane and I drove off. The good days are the ones in which I arrived and jump in the open lane, cutting several cars. There are those times when I am in a relaxed mood and I’ll jump into the first lane. I can’t describe how pissed I get when I see someone just come and cut the line. Another problem is the long pause, before the employee speaks. I’ve sat there for a couple minutes on several occasions. (Are the workers watching on camera and laughing! If that’s the case…grow up!) I have enough to deal with during the day, I don’t need extra anxiety of trying to figure out which lane will be faster. (It’s a dumb concept. JUST HAVE THE ONE LANE!)

My main complaint about McDonald’s is not the problems with the drive-thru. I want to make a plea to the workers. I want all McDonald’s employees to take pride in your job. There are many successful people who started out at McDonald’s, but you have to learn how to become a great employee before moving on to bigger and better employment. Those who slack off at McDonald’s will be losing the opportunity to learn a valuable life lesson. To the managers: a higher standard must be set in the restaurants. Customers should not have to deal with the problems of the employees. (This is not a McDonald’s specific dilemma. When people go to work, keep your personal problems at home. If you feel the need to take out your frustrations on customers, do the world a favor and stay home. You were hired to provide a service, DO YOUR JOB!!!) Nothing peeves my pet more than having to walk into a McDonald’s, only to see four employees on break and one person working the over-flowing line. It is paramount to always remember Professionalism; having a personal conversation with a friend who is hanging around the counter is inappropriate. (In the future, whenever I encounter these rule violating conversations, I will chime in and give some unwanted advice!)

People need to take pride in their jobs. We understand that you are in high school and it’s only a temporary job, but I want a quality product. I don’t want cold unsalted fries. I don’t want diet coke instead of regular coke. (What kind of sick individual takes pleasure in screwing up someone’s drink. It’s ridiculous! I’ve thrown out at least 20 diet cokes. Where’s the pleasure in giving me the wrong drink? I’m driving away; you can’t even see me not enjoying it!) [Speaking of screwing with orders, any individual who can spit in someone’s food, or perform any other unspeakable acts of tampering, needs to be hung on national TV. I don’t care how much someone pisses me off, I couldn’t do it. Those people are sick in the head. If you have a family member or friend who admits to committing such acts, help out the world and hang them…put it on YouTube so we can laugh!] McDonald’s is the perfect place for young people to learn how to have a great work ethic. Treat customers with respect, and take the job seriously. You never know who is standing in front of you. A person who takes pride in always doing a great job, regardless of the employer, will always be successful!

Apparently, there is a new level of scumbag which I discovered at McDonald’s. One evening, after returning from dinner and a movie, my girlfriend at the time had a hankering for one of those Oreo Cookie Ice-cream whatever-you-call-it from McDonald’s. I didn’t want anything but I entered the drive-thru. The experience was typical until after I received my change. All of a sudden, a “hoopty” drove around the corner and entered the drive-thru lane. I assumed it was a friend of the employee, who was picking up some free food. The car pulled up to the window, received the bag, and drove off. When I made it to the window, the girl handed me a large bag with sandwiches and fries. I explained that we only ordered a dessert, and she was shocked. It turned out, the driver of the hoopty was actually carrying out a master plan to steal food from McDonald’s. He had three passengers, I wonder how they decided who got the dessert. (If you ever find yourself in the position of having to steal food from McDonald’s, it’s probably time to consider suicide!)

My worst McDonald’s moment happened a few months ago. I was working in Pembroke, MA at the time. Each morning, I would speed towards Cape Cod and arrive at my exit in 15 minutes. (The trip is supposed to take 30 minutes!) I usually ran on Dunkin but for some unexplainable reason, I craved a breakfast sandwich and an OJ from McDonald’s. I visited my good friend Mr. Drive-thru, and patiently waited for my turn to order.

Employee number 832627: “Welcome to McDonald’s. Would you like to try our new something-or-other?”

Me: “No thank you.”

Employee number 832627: “Yes.” (What the hell happened to “may I take your order?”)

Me: “I’ll have the sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit, with an orange juice; Please.”

Employee number 832627: “That’s it?”

Me: “Yes, thank you.”

Employee number 832627: “Your total is *inaudible amount*.”

Me: “Thank you.”

I drove around to the first window and paid for the order. After a short wait, I pulled up to the second window and received my bag…off I went. At the red light, I opened the bag and I began to fume. Inside, I found two fruit and maple oatmeal cups. (These are the moments in life when I am thankful I don’t own a firearm!) Needless to say, I tossed the bag into the trashcan at Dunkin and grabbed the usual, a muffin and large coffee coolatta, sans whip cream. (Maybe the girl was overwhelmed by the busy morning and made a mistake. I can understand that. BUT, if she gave me the wrong order deliberately, I hope her future husband has a threesome with her mom and best friend!)


It is unwise to leave a club in a drunken stupor, go to McDonald’s, and act like an ass in the drive-thru–Good Luck getting uncontaminated food!!! (I am the first to cancel my order and grab some snacks at on the run.)

For those of you who are too good to eat fast food…why do you hate America?

For all the healthy people who think I eat too much fast food. Go fuck yourselves…you probably won’t outlive me. And, if you do, I won’t be around to give a shit!

Reading this must leave the impression I eat McDonald’s everyday, but I have compiled this information over several years. I am known to take a two hour lunch, pop in Cash Money, and drive until the CD is over. (Yeah, I actually still go to the store and purchase CDs. I wish I could have recorded the look on the sales associates face when I walked into Best Buy and asked where the single CDs were located. Why can’t it be ’94 again!!!) Over the past several years I have ordered from pretty much every McDonald’s from Brockton to Medford.

If you are wondering about other fast food burger spots…they didn’t sponsor this post, so no mentions. Thanks for the McBucks Ronald!!!

This post is a respite, designed to be light and non-challenging, due to tomorrow’s post ‘Why I Like Hitler!’ (Read it before you judge!)