This Actually Happened – August 11th, 2012

Shake ‘Em Up, Shake ‘Em

Earthquakes and California go together like Peyton Manning and future Super Bowl championships. I’m not the type to worry about things I can’t control, which is why earthquakes never enter my mind. Honestly, I completely forgot about the frequent sudden releases of energy in the Earth’s crust that create seismic waves. (According to the United States Geology Survey website there were 55 earthquakes in the city of Los Angeles since August 5th!)

***Talk about outwit, outplay, and outlast; I challenge anyone to say that I am not the real survivor!***

     Regretfully, most of the seismic shifts have registered less than two on the Richter scale, but I’m a survivor nonetheless. Most people cower at the thought of dying in “the big one,” but I would love to die in a natural disaster. (Call me crazy!)

The other night, after an hour or so of attempting to shutoff my brain, I finally managed to fall asleep only to have Mother Nature wake me up. (I’m starting to think that natural disasters happen during the good lady’s gory vaginal discharge!)

My first earthquake felt like someone snuck into my room and started shaking my bed. (For the first time in my life, I can actually say that my bed was rocking!)

I’m sure there will be those who claim the earthquake was a religious experience, or the result of paranormal activity, but I live in the real world and I enjoyed my first earthquake. Not only did I enjoy the quake, but I look forward to the next one, which I hope is bigger and better. (I know major earthquakes produce great number of deaths, but I think a little collateral damage is worth the experience! CALL ME EVIL!)


I am starting to lose interest in Facebook, due to the fact that I feel some people are too “religious!” I don’t have a problem with those who choose to believe complete nonsense, but when people fail to appreciate funny status updates, I get offended!

I have a secret desire to have one complete day of uncensored status updates. I want to comment on every single status update posted by the dumbasses. (I know there may be some people who have a secret desire to share negative comments about my ungodliness, and I really wish they would because my response would be complete unfiltered humor!)

I will probably not be able to have my uncensored day because I would lose many “friends” and cause a lot of hurt to those who are dumb! For example, today I had a funny thought and I almost posted it on Facebook, but I controlled my urges.

Here is the comment. “What is the difference between a slut and a whore?” Who cares; strap up and enjoy the pussy!

Since certain Facebookers have no sense of humor, I will share two different status updates which I posted during a brief uncensored spell, a few nights ago. I’m sure these comments caused some people to cringe, but we can’t live according to the rules of the ones who suck ass!

Never come in her. Come Honor!


Do you think mother superior secretly gives head while wearing that hoody? Dumbass, that’s her habit!

     I hope these were enjoyable!


Published by Peter Teixeira

First and foremost, I enjoy writing stories. I recently completed my first novel, and I successfully co-wrote a short film script, which won the grand prize in the words made easy competition.

Join the Conversation


  1. I’m not afraid of dying either but it takes a crazy! You could be crushed under a building for hours or days. I couldn’t imagine going through that. It would be torture.

    I saw your posts on facebook, those are hysterical! But you should post anything and everything you want why is censoring yourself

    1. * earthquakes are crazy.

      Also if they are just your “friends” who cares if they get offended?

      1. I don’t think being trapped under a building is that bad; human beings can take a lot of pain. I don’t share my thoughts on Facebook, too often, because people will get angry and life is too short to explain to an idiot why he or she is an idiot at any particula moment. Who knows? One day I may just decide to do it!

        1. Next time you’re trapped under a building let me know if it wasn’t too bad!
          I guess you’re right about fb, but it’s gotten so boring and ridiculous that it would be fun to see the reactions to your insane posts

Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: