The Most Interesting Commercials In The World

It is futile to argue, the Dos Equis commercials are hilarious. When it comes to advertising, EuroRSCG knocked this one out of the park. There is no way any beer drinking hominoid can watch one of the commercials and not have an urge to buy a case of Dos Equis on their next trip to the local liquor store. (This is a fact. Dos Equis sales increased exponentially since the ads began running!)

Although I enjoy most of the facts, there are a few that were lacking. Here is a list of the bad facts, and my improvements. (You may think the original facts work, and I’m not afraid to say that you are wrong!)

Bad Fact 1:

“He has inside jokes with perfect strangers.” At first, I thought this was funny, but then I thought about it and it’s not really unique. For example, if you are on a bus and someone slips while stepping off because it’s raining. You can share an inside joke with a complete stranger at their stop. As the stranger is exiting, you can say, “watch your step,” and the two of you will laugh.

My suggestion: “He understands every inside joke!”

Bad Fact 2:

“His small talk has altered foreign policy.” This isn’t anything new; small talk is how foreign policy gets worked out. Things get done when the big wigs have a couple minutes of down time and they let down their guards. Also, you put a couple Presidential aides in a room together and they’ll start chatting it up and foreign policy will be altered.  (Initially, I spelled it “Presidential Aids.” That would be something completely different; I would guess JFK and Clinton may know something about that!)

My suggestion: “His pillow talk has altered foreign policy!”

Bad Fact 3:

“His shirts never wrinkle.” Big whoop! Anyone can walk into Macy’s and buy a wrinkle free shirt.

My suggestion: “The steam from his body heat removes the wrinkles from his shirts, and they always smell April fresh!”

Bad Fact 4:

“He is left-handed. And right-handed.” We have a word for this; ambidextrous. There is nothing unique about being ambidextrous; you can’t read through a baseball lineup without seeing at least one switch hitter!

My suggestion: “He writes right-handed with his left hand!”

Bad Fact 5:

“He owns three sports cars and rents five.” This isn’t interesting. It’s just dumb. Who the hell owns three sports cars then rents more? Unless an owner of sports cars goes on vacation and rents sports cars; not unique! This fact just makes our beloved Dos Equis guy seem like a douche.

My suggestion: “When he rents a sports car, the company pays him for insurance!”

Bonus Bad Fact:

“He built a city out of blocks.” That’s pretty much how cities are built; one block at a time. I hope the ad people aren’t under the impression that Rome was built in a day!

My suggestion: “He built an indestructible  cardboard city for the homeless; 6 million residents live there!”

     I hope these were entertaining! Stay Thirsty My Friends!


Published by Peter Teixeira

First and foremost, I enjoy writing stories. I recently completed my first novel, and I successfully co-wrote a short film script, which won the grand prize in the words made easy competition.

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