Misinformed Children

When it comes to being creative and pushing the envelope, I’m all about allowing artists to use their creativity to entertain their fellow human beings, but there has to be some accountability. As a society, we need to educate the children before we poison their minds with ridiculous notions. Although I am an atheist, I think religion can play a role in setting a moral foundation for the youth of the world. (Just as long as we allow children to find their own way once they realize that religion is nonsensical!)

Abraham Lincoln is one of my favorite presidents; I believe I ranked him in my top five, in a previous post. (You can read the post here: President’s Day.) There are many reasons to choose Abraham Lincoln as a favorite. First of all, he wore a great top hat. (You’re definitely a complete ass if you don’t respect a man in a top hat!)

Lincoln is famous for his Emancipation Proclamation in which he set out to free all slaves, but failed miserably. I say he failed because the number of slaves freed by the document was a total of zero! (I would explain, but I think people should do their own research!)

That being said, Lincoln is responsible for ending slavery so he is a man to be admired. Lincoln also was assassinated which clearly means he was a man of great honor. (No one was trying to assassinate President George W. Bush!)

Lincoln will always be named when people talk about their favorite president’s; he is on the five dollar bill and the penny, so his memory isn’t going anywhere. Unfortunately for the children of the future, Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, will forever be remembered for something which is completely ridiculous.

Thanks to irresponsible Hollywood big wigs, Abraham Lincoln will be remembered for his tenacity as a vampire slayer. “WHAT?” Yes, you read that correctly; Abraham Lincoln will forever be known as a vampire slayer.

I’m sure most people have seen the advertisements for the new movie and chuckled, but this is not a laughing matter. There will come a day when those of you who have children will ask about a favorite President and the answer will seem reasonable at first. Once you delve deeper and ask, “why;” you will be floored by the answer. Your innocent, dumbass of a child, will say, “I like Abraham Lincoln because he killed all the bad vampires!” I wouldn’t wish such a moment on my worst enemy, but there is no turning back; the film will be released soon and history will forever be tainted. (As a History major, I cried when I walked into the movie theatre and saw a poster for the Lincoln vampire movie!)

Do your part and help educate a child by not watching this abomination!


Published by Peter Teixeira

First and foremost, I enjoy writing stories. I recently completed my first novel, and I successfully co-wrote a short film script, which won the grand prize in the words made easy competition.

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  1. I’m not sure. Your point may have some validity, but presumably the movie will be PG-13 or so. By that time, I think kids will be able to differentiate between fact and reality. That, and I don’t think it will be classified as historical non-fiction.

  2. Jesus you are so spot on here…(wait except the top paragraph…lol…no god(s)/no morals issue but that’s a separate debate)…the rest of the post though is absolute gold, and I fer one believe yer right.

  3. What is just as astonishing to me is the abiindg entrenched status of the received view on many great historical figures that any evidence presented about their concealed homosexuality or experimentation must be met with resounding denial. It’s apparently still too shocking that any of these might have been homosexual or bisexual. I’ve been long convinced that Shakespeare was at least bisexual if not homosexual because of his love sonnets (all addressed to a man). But the contortions and distortions that most conventional literary historians go through to deny the proposition is astounding. All this business leaves me bewildered wondering how the greatness and importance of these individuals would be in the least bit diminished if they were homosexual.

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