I Thought I Was Patriotic

For today’s post, my initial idea was to bleep out random words of well-known pieces such as the Gettysburg Address or the Pledge of Allegiance. I excitedly copied the Gettysburg Address into Microsoft Word (Even though I know the first paragraph by heart since I was forced to memorize the speech by my sixth grade teacher, Mr. Carroll!), but I wasn’t happy with the results. I moved on to the Pledge of Allegiance but the finished product didn’t receive my seal of approval.

I thought about other options and settled on the Star Spangled Banner. I always believed that I was as patriotic as the next guy, but my life changed when I read the document. The facts are undeniable; I don’t know the Star Spangled Banner. I have been living a lie for many years and I’m almost certain there are less than ten American citizens who can recite the entire piece.

***My Guaran-damn-tee***

If you are reading this post, you are not one of the ten American citizens who have the ability to recite the Star Spangled Banner in its entirety!

     The Star Spangled Banner:

Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn’s early light,

What so proudly we hail’d at the twilight’s last gleaming?

Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro’ the perilous fight,

O’er the ramparts we watch’d, were so gallantly streaming?

And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,

Gave proof thro’ the night that our flag was still there.

O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave

O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

 

On the shore dimly seen thro’ the mists of the deep,

Where the foe’s haughty host in dread silence reposes,

What is that which the breeze, o’er the towering steep,

As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?

Now it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam,

In full glory reflected, now shines on the stream:

‘Tis the star-spangled banner: O, long may it wave

O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

 

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore

That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion

A home and a country should leave us no more?

Their blood has wash’d out their foul footsteps’ pollution.

No refuge could save the hireling and slave

From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave:

And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave

O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

 

O, thus be it ever when freemen shall stand,

Between their lov’d homes and the war’s desolation;

Blest with vict’ry and peace, may the heav’n-rescued land

Praise the Pow’r that hath made and preserv’d us a nation!

Then conquer we must, when our cause is just,

And this be our motto: “In God is our trust”

And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave

O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

[The End]

Where the hell did the rest of this thing come from? More importantly, why the hell don’t they make us sit through the entire song? Is the National Anthem not important enough for “real” Americans to listen to all the wonderful words?

I think it’s letter writing time! Please do your part and help me resolve this egregious error. All I am asking is for you to take a few minutes out of your day to write a letter to your congressman. Someone, Francis Scott Key to be exact, took the time to write this beautiful and moving poem; I believe it is a travesty for performers to half-ass it by singing only a quarter of the piece.

I don’t know what everyone else will be doing this Memorial Day, but I’ll be in front of the computer screen, memorizing the entire Star Spangled Banner! (Score one for the good ol’ U-S-of-A!)

 In “God” We Trust! (With “god” on our side, who cares about the National Debt!)

@PeteTeix617

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2 responses to “I Thought I Was Patriotic

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