Un-Happy Endings

This post was inspired by the movie The Adjustment Bureau. I never watched the film but it was on while I was taking a nap and I caught some of the ending. What actually happened in the film is of little significance, what really matters is the fact that a man was engaged to be married and the “hero” steals his girl. (I apologize for not saying spoiler alert!)

The audience is fooled into believing that the story ended happily, but no one seems to care about the guy who spent at least a few years of his life building a “loving” relationship with a lying whore who never loved him in the first place. This “bad guy” did everything the correct way and just when he thinks he is about to marry the woman of his dreams, she is ripped away from him. (We live in a cruel world!)

I guess if you really consider the situation, the man is better off because the woman was not “the one.” Why doesn’t anyone care about these so called “insignificant characters” who always lose the girl in the end? I don’t know about you, but I definitely don’t consider such nonsense to be a happy ending. In some cases, the writer will create a love interest for ”Mr. Second Place” but that’s no consolation. He put in the time and he should be able to keep his bride to be. (Even if she did turn out to be a whore!)

My favorite Mr. Second Place is Gaston from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. Although he wanted Belle by force, he deserved her. There were plenty women in the town who threw themselves at Gaston, but he only had eyes for Belle. To me, his dedication should have been rewarded, but instead, the asshole Beast who held “crazy old Maurice” in his tower as a prisoner, and then swapped him for Belle ends up with the girl. What a disgrace! Honestly, the jackass didn’t even allow Belle to say goodbye to her father. (I don’t think I can ever forgive the beast for the way he treated Maurice!)

Another perfect example of Mr. Second Place getting the short hand of the stick is in the movie The Graduate. Dustin Hoffman who plays the character “Ben” starts the movie by banging Mrs. Robinson, then he has the nerve to fall in love with her beautiful daughter. What a piece of shit! Not only do I feel sorry for Mr. Second Place, but this Ben guy also destroys Mr. Robinson’s life. He starts the movie by being a home wrecker, and then stops the lovely wedding that Mr. Robinson paid for with his hard earned money. I can’t see how this can be considered a happy ending! (The movie should have been called Mr. Robinson’s Life Sucks!)

To top things off, Ben walks off with the girl after Mr. Second Place kissed his bride at the altar. (That’s just cold!) If you are going to stop a wedding, the least you can do is have the decency to get there before the guy kisses his bride to be; it’s just common courtesy. They say chivalry is dead, but I think it is decorum which is no longer practiced. (This movie crossed the line!)

Sadly, it is not only the men who have to suffer this heart-wrenching fate. In the movie The Wedding Planner, J-Ho J-Lo was hired to plan the wedding for Mrs. Second Place. J-Lo came highly recommended, but the whore ends up falling in love with and stealing the groom to be. What is this world coming to; how the hell are we supposed to think this movie had a happy ending? Am I missing something here? The conniving, back-stabbing wedding planner was hired because of her professionalism, but whoever recommended her must have forgotten to include the fact that she has a propensity to steal the groom to be! (If this incident occurred in real life, the wedding planner would have been called a home wrecking whore, but in Hollywood, she’s a great catch. (I call bullshit!)

It’s time for the viewing public to demand better from the writers. There is no need to cause such suffering to innocent human beings. We have a duty to change what is considered a happy ending; no one deserves to suffer such indignity!

I wait for the day when the “hero” attempts to steal the love interest from Mr. Second Place, but she decides to do the honorable thing and marries the deserving fellow. Mr. Second Place has suffered long enough.

To Hollywood, I say keep your “happy endings” and give me a story that I can feel good about! Until then, I guess I’ll have to continue frequenting the local massage parlors in order to get a true “happy ending!”

Thank “god” for Groupon!

@PeteTeix617

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8 responses to “Un-Happy Endings

  1. It would make for a more interesting story to have Mr. Second Place get the girl….make sure to remember that as you write your scripts!

    But you got it wrong with Belle. I think she shouldn’t be with either of those losers! One’s an moronic ego maniac and the other one is a nasty beast! With all the books she read, she could’ve easily gotten into a good college and became a very successful woman and put her dad in a senior center…a fancy one of course!! Or at the very least if she had to settle for someone I thik the candlestick would’ve been a much better match. He seems rather wordly and I’m sure he can “heat” things up!

    • I’ll try to remember to let Mr. Second Place get the girl but I will be quick to sellout!

      Belle probably could have done better than her two choices but I think Gaston was more deserving than the beast. As far as the candlestick, I’m sure most women would feel lucky to end up with him!

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