This Actually Happened – April 28th, 2012

*****POST NUMBER 300*****

Writing these posts feels nothing like fighting in a war!

Thank you to all the people who take a few minutes out of their porn surfing sessions to read my posts!

Dumb & Dumber

In an effort to protect the imbeciles, the names have been changed. I feel it is appropriate to call the gentlemen, Harry and Lloyd, in honor of the characters from the movie DUMB AND DUMBER. I’m not completely certain but before they left the apartment I think I overheard Harry say to Lloyd, “when are we gonna catch a break!” This incident happened on April 19th, 2012. I was unable to join the group because I had to work in the morning. The gang decided to eat at Hooters in Hollywood. While walking the boulevard, a large bus filled with hot women pulled up and the hottest starlet stepped out and approached Lloyd. She asked, “Excuse me, do you know what street this is?” Lloyd was enamored with the beauty and he noticed the many splendors aboard the bus; he replied, “It’s Figueroa.” The young woman stared at Lloyd; her inviting eyes were waiting for him to make a move. Lloyd looked as if he was about to make a move, but he failed to do so. Instead, he turned and began to walk away from the stunned magnificence. His left foot led, followed by his right. Just when the onlookers believed that he was a lost cause, something magical happened within those two steps. It was a moment of clarity. Lloyd couldn’t pass up this opportunity. He turned with the confidence of a poor Haitian boy during a math test, pointed to the hot girl, and stated, ”Figueroa near Hooters!” (Hold on a second, “poor Haitian boy during a math test?” That’s not the stereotype!) The young woman couldn’t believe what she was hearing. This clueless halfwit didn’t even make an attempt to get on the bus. At the exact moment that Lloyd began to walk away for a second time, my slumber was disturbed. I woke up in a cold sweat and heard a faint voice, off in the distance. The voice trailed off before I could hear the last portion but I did catch the beginning. I heard, “Wow! Two lucky guys are gonna be driving around with those girls…” The following morning, Harry reported that he was unhappy with the breast size of the Hooters girls. After hearing this tale, I’m guessing he thought they were too big! I did not witness this event, but the story has been confirmed by reliable sources! BELIEVE IT OR NOT!

Again, thanks to everyone who continues to read my posts!

Good luck to the Denver Broncos in this weekend’s NFL draft. (Just kidding! We have Peyton Manning!)

@PeteTeix617

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