Is This Spam

WordPress provides bloggers with some great tools; the spam filter is as good as gmail. In fact, the filter works too well. On several occasions I found comments from readers which were mistakenly sent to the spam folder. (I apologize if I missed any comments!)

Unless it comes in a can! (I don’t think spam tastes that bad!)

     Spam is annoying, but I enjoy reading some of the creativity of some of the junk mail. There are several which are almost too complimentary to leave in the spam folder. I almost approved the ones that are extremely flattering, but I will remain humble.

The ultra-complimentary e-mails are pretty easy to identify, but there are some tricky e-mails that I must read twice in order to be certain that it is, in fact, spam. Sometimes, I am not able to confirm that the e-mails are spam, but I make the decision to trust the spam filter. Figuring out these e-mails is like attempting to figure out why Wesley Snipes is walking into a tanning salon! (Is that racist?)

There have been some great comments in the past, but the spam folder erases the e-mails after a month or so.

Here are some examples of the tricky spam e-mails:

1.     “Thanks for making me feel bad that I ate at Long John Silvers on Friday. I even washed my hands in the ‘bathroom stall.’ But I lived to tell about it!” – Aber (I don’t know an Aber but this individual confused the crap out of me. I am ninety nine point nine percent certain that I never mentioned Long John Silver in any of my posts. I don’t even think I ever ate at a Long John Silver!)

***If anyone knows what Aber is referring to, please clue me in!***

2.     “Thanks for this great information! I really appreciate this. I actually let my husband have a look and he posted a link to it on his blog” – Samba (Again, I don’t know a Samba and I definitely don’t know her husband. I just clicked on the accompanying link and it led me to a Facebook page. This added to the confusion; Samba is a guy and his page seems to be in French!)

***If anyone knows Samba or his husband, tell them I said thanks for reading!***

3.     “I wonder if I wear a nice pair of dress pants & dress shirt & I still buy some skittles and an Arizona, will I still look suspicious?!” – Initially, I thought this was a real comment that was mistakenly placed in the spam folder until I read the name of the author. – Nikon Camera battery (I know the Trayvon Martin case is big news, but I didn’t think Nikon Camera had some thoughts on the matter. I guess the black battery can identify with the discrimination of the case! {I know that isn’t racist!})

***Thanks for the comment, Nikon. If my laptop battery dies, I will definitely purchase one from you!***

4.     “Woah this blog is great I really like studying your posts. Stay up the great work! You realize, lots of individuals are looking round for this info, you can aid them greatly.” – This is the type of comment that I would normally print out and tape to the fridge, but I was saddened when I saw the name of the author. – The Laptop Store. Thanks to the jackass who was responsible for creating this spam content; why get my hopes up?

***Even if the Laptop Store had a buy one get one free sale, I will not shop there! (Can anyone tell me how I can “stay up the good work?”)***

5.     “Hi! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I truly enjoy reading your posts. Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that deal with the same subjects? Many thanks!” – beneficios de hacer gimnasia en casa. I’m not fluent in Español, but I can translate this author’s name and I don’t care about the benefits of having a home gym. Thanks for studying my blog and for the shout out.

***I don’t know about the benefits of a home gym, but I can point out one disadvantage; at home, you can’t see hot women, in tight pants, running on treadmills! (Is that sexist?)***

6.    “Excellent post. I was checking continuously this blog and I’m impressed! Very useful info specifically the last part 🙂 I care for such information much. I was seeking this certain info for a long time. Thank you and good luck.” — Donnie Rudicil (I don’t know Donnie, but since his profile is linked to the Time Warner Cable website, I know who to ask for if I ever need to call and complain about the service!)

***Hey Donnie, I especially liked the last part of your spam e-mail!***

7.     “Woah this blog is great I really like reading your articles. Keep up the great paintings! You realize, a lot of persons are hunting around for this information, you can help them greatly.” – This one was also from the laptop store. Is this site stalking my blog?

***They may not have any good laptops, but the site knows a good blog when it sees one. Thanks for realizing that I have the ability to help the many persons who are hunting for “this” information!***

<BONUS>     “Thanks so much for giving everyone an extraordinarily memorable chance to read from this site. It is usually very kind plus packed with a lot of fun for me personally and my office colleagues to visit your website particularly three times every week to see the new things you will have. Of course, I am also certainly amazed for the remarkable hints you serve. Selected two tips in this article are rather the finest I have ever had.” This one is from the fat burning pill, clenbuterol. (If it wasn’t for my anti-violence policy, I would purchase some of these magic pills and join the fight to prevent obesity!)

***I just like the fact that the last two tips “are rather the finest I have ever had.” I knew I was dishing out the goods!***

     I hope these spam comments were enjoyable to read. If I receive any really funny ones in the future, I’ll share them.

@PeteTeix617