Is This Spam

WordPress provides bloggers with some great tools; the spam filter is as good as gmail. In fact, the filter works too well. On several occasions I found comments from readers which were mistakenly sent to the spam folder. (I apologize if I missed any comments!)

Unless it comes in a can! (I don’t think spam tastes that bad!)

     Spam is annoying, but I enjoy reading some of the creativity of some of the junk mail. There are several which are almost too complimentary to leave in the spam folder. I almost approved the ones that are extremely flattering, but I will remain humble.

The ultra-complimentary e-mails are pretty easy to identify, but there are some tricky e-mails that I must read twice in order to be certain that it is, in fact, spam. Sometimes, I am not able to confirm that the e-mails are spam, but I make the decision to trust the spam filter. Figuring out these e-mails is like attempting to figure out why Wesley Snipes is walking into a tanning salon! (Is that racist?)

There have been some great comments in the past, but the spam folder erases the e-mails after a month or so.

Here are some examples of the tricky spam e-mails:

1.     “Thanks for making me feel bad that I ate at Long John Silvers on Friday. I even washed my hands in the ‘bathroom stall.’ But I lived to tell about it!” – Aber (I don’t know an Aber but this individual confused the crap out of me. I am ninety nine point nine percent certain that I never mentioned Long John Silver in any of my posts. I don’t even think I ever ate at a Long John Silver!)

***If anyone knows what Aber is referring to, please clue me in!***

2.     “Thanks for this great information! I really appreciate this. I actually let my husband have a look and he posted a link to it on his blog” – Samba (Again, I don’t know a Samba and I definitely don’t know her husband. I just clicked on the accompanying link and it led me to a Facebook page. This added to the confusion; Samba is a guy and his page seems to be in French!)

***If anyone knows Samba or his husband, tell them I said thanks for reading!***

3.     “I wonder if I wear a nice pair of dress pants & dress shirt & I still buy some skittles and an Arizona, will I still look suspicious?!” – Initially, I thought this was a real comment that was mistakenly placed in the spam folder until I read the name of the author. – Nikon Camera battery (I know the Trayvon Martin case is big news, but I didn’t think Nikon Camera had some thoughts on the matter. I guess the black battery can identify with the discrimination of the case! {I know that isn’t racist!})

***Thanks for the comment, Nikon. If my laptop battery dies, I will definitely purchase one from you!***

4.     “Woah this blog is great I really like studying your posts. Stay up the great work! You realize, lots of individuals are looking round for this info, you can aid them greatly.” – This is the type of comment that I would normally print out and tape to the fridge, but I was saddened when I saw the name of the author. – The Laptop Store. Thanks to the jackass who was responsible for creating this spam content; why get my hopes up?

***Even if the Laptop Store had a buy one get one free sale, I will not shop there! (Can anyone tell me how I can “stay up the good work?”)***

5.     “Hi! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I truly enjoy reading your posts. Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that deal with the same subjects? Many thanks!” – beneficios de hacer gimnasia en casa. I’m not fluent in Español, but I can translate this author’s name and I don’t care about the benefits of having a home gym. Thanks for studying my blog and for the shout out.

***I don’t know about the benefits of a home gym, but I can point out one disadvantage; at home, you can’t see hot women, in tight pants, running on treadmills! (Is that sexist?)***

6.    “Excellent post. I was checking continuously this blog and I’m impressed! Very useful info specifically the last part 🙂 I care for such information much. I was seeking this certain info for a long time. Thank you and good luck.” — Donnie Rudicil (I don’t know Donnie, but since his profile is linked to the Time Warner Cable website, I know who to ask for if I ever need to call and complain about the service!)

***Hey Donnie, I especially liked the last part of your spam e-mail!***

7.     “Woah this blog is great I really like reading your articles. Keep up the great paintings! You realize, a lot of persons are hunting around for this information, you can help them greatly.” – This one was also from the laptop store. Is this site stalking my blog?

***They may not have any good laptops, but the site knows a good blog when it sees one. Thanks for realizing that I have the ability to help the many persons who are hunting for “this” information!***

<BONUS>     “Thanks so much for giving everyone an extraordinarily memorable chance to read from this site. It is usually very kind plus packed with a lot of fun for me personally and my office colleagues to visit your website particularly three times every week to see the new things you will have. Of course, I am also certainly amazed for the remarkable hints you serve. Selected two tips in this article are rather the finest I have ever had.” This one is from the fat burning pill, clenbuterol. (If it wasn’t for my anti-violence policy, I would purchase some of these magic pills and join the fight to prevent obesity!)

***I just like the fact that the last two tips “are rather the finest I have ever had.” I knew I was dishing out the goods!***

     I hope these spam comments were enjoyable to read. If I receive any really funny ones in the future, I’ll share them.

@PeteTeix617

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2 responses to “Is This Spam

  1. I was reading my spam mail earlier today and had a great one where some woman’s cousin pointed at my posting about promotional holiday weapons for zombie killing. I’d like to say I’m joking but you’d have to see my blog. In either case, it caused me to laugh because she was so concerned that she had to deal with the same problem and made it sound medical.

    I did however notice two spam messages I did not expect to see. Apparently when I was commenting and approving from the top menu bar some of my OWN comments went into spam. Not sure how to feel about that! I’m trying to not take it personal. 😉

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