The Drought 30

It is finally over! Tiger Woods is back!

     I started watching golf in the early nineties. (By watching golf, I mean playing the sport on video games!) My favorite player was always Jack “The Golden Bear” Nicklaus, and I enjoyed competing against the course and the unfortunate individuals who challenged me. (I’m kidding; I honestly don’t remember who won!)

The video games were fun times, but watching golf on television left a little to be desired. (Actually, it left a lot to be desired!) The sport was boring, and I hated the networks for taking up valuable television time with a bunch of old guys walking around a boring course. “Honestly, who the hell watches this crap?” I often yelled.

Everything changed when a young amateur named Tiger Woods competed in his first Masters. He didn’t win, but it was evident that he was a future star. I watched some of the coverage, and I slowly gained interest in the sport.

In 1997, Woods dominated at the Masters and won the Major by 12 strokes with a final score of (-18). I was hooked; I watched every second of the final day. I became a fan of the sport because of Tiger Woods and the Masters is my favorite tournament. (The fact that the Masters is held in the greatest month has nothing to do with anything; these things happen!)

I was deeply saddened when Tiger became an average golfer. I’m a big fan and it’s great to see him back to his winning ways. I’m assuming that he is also back to smashing random whores. (I apologize for calling the women who elect to sleep with Tiger Woods, whores. I’m sure they are misunderstood, and I probably don’t know them so how can I judge them? ***I was laughing out loud while typing the last statement!***)

Adultery is dumb. I’m not talking about any morality; I am simply looking at the business side of things. If a man plans on cheating on his wife, he should not get married. DIVORCE IS EXPENSIVE! (If you don’t believe me, as Kobe or Tiger!)

To read more about my thoughts on marriage, follow the link: My Proposal To Save Marriage.

Tiger played in 30 tournaments without a win. For a Woods’ fan, Sports Center was was almost unbearable. Thankfully, the golf world is back to normal. Let me see if I can remember the old adage. Behind every successful man is an infinite amount of insignificant sluts! Tiger Woods is winning! (Not in the crazy Charlie Sheen sense!)

Don’t worry, Tiger. You’re not married anymore; it’s all good!

     I don’t know about everyone else, but I’ll be tuned in for this years’ Masters.



Published by Peter Teixeira

First and foremost, I enjoy writing stories. I recently completed my first novel, and I successfully co-wrote a short film script, which won the grand prize in the words made easy competition.

Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: