Un-Ashy Wednesday

I think Los Angeles is the place for me. Yesterday was the first time in my life that I didn’t see one person with a symbolic dirty forehead. I am new to atheism, but I never understood the tradition of placing a smudge of ash on a person’s forehead. (I think I was twelve the last time I allowed someone to dirty my forehead with ash!)

To me, religions would be better if, at the beginning of the year, there was an election in which people could vote on the traditions to follow. I think the Catholics would have voted “NAY” on Ash Wednesday a long time ago.

Even better, religious leaders could propose new traditions which the people could vote for. Imagine how great that would be. (Obviously, Catholics would be excluded from this new way of practicing religion because they have a Pope who runs things!) There could be a young hip priest who creates a beer pong tournament in honor of his “god.” The winners of the tourney are to be free from sin for one year. (That’s the type of religion I could find myself getting involved with!)

Another tradition I never understood was lent. If Jesus sacrificed for his people, why the hell would we have to sacrifice, AGAIN? It makes no goddamn sense. The sacrifice has been accomplished; there is no need to give up anything for forty days.

Furthermore, if you’re going to do what Jesus would do, go all the way. Giving up one “luxury” item doesn’t seem to cut it. Catholics believe that Jesus fasted for forty days and forty nights, so I say, go ahead and do that. If you’re not going to honor the sacrifice properly, don’t bother at all. I honestly don’t understand how making a child give up M&Ms for forty days makes them like Jesus. If anything, I would hate Jesus if I had to give up anything.

Traditions are usually ridiculous and nonsensical, but they are here to stay. Followers will continue to do as they are told to do, and the non-believers will continue to laugh our asses off!

I found this to be hilarious!

Feel free to comment and tell the rest of us what you gave up for lent. I‘ll play along, for shits and giggles, and give up condoms! ***”GOD” HELP ME!*** (Honestly, shits and giggles. How the hell did those two words come together to mean something?)



Published by Peter Teixeira

First and foremost, I enjoy writing stories. I recently completed my first novel, and I successfully co-wrote a short film script, which won the grand prize in the words made easy competition.

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