Liquor Land

*WARNING* Do not visit Los Angeles if you have a drinking problem. Alcohol can be found everywhere. I come from Massachusetts, which is arguably one of the most difficult states to acquire a liquor license, but California is the complete opposite. Don’t quote me on this, but I am almost certain that there are only two requirements for the license. First, each applicant must be able to spell his or her name correctly. The only other prerequisite is the ability to make a check mark inside of the small box labeled, MARK HERE IF YOU WANT A LICENSE! (Selling “Grandpa’s Old Cough Medicine” in California is easier than having sex with ———  ————-! **Keep on my good side and your full name will not replace the blank spaces in future posts!**)

The ease with which we find alcohol is almost alarming. If you ask someone for directions to a liquor store, you will literally get smacked upside your head. Every store is a liquor store. (Please do not get the wrong impression; we are not out here drinking our lives away!)

When I say, every store is a liquor store, I mean every store. You can purchase alcohol from Walgreens, CVS, Wal-Mart, Target, 7-Eleven, and I’m pretty sure Forever 21! (I’ll ask around and get back to you guys about the last one!)

With the alcohol being sold in almost every establishment, including the great new pizza shop that we found just down the street from our apartment, the prices are decent. Every bottle is at least a couple dollars cheaper than in Boston, but we recently uncovered an amazing bit of information. There are no Stop & Shops or Shaw’s in Los Angeles, but they have great supermarket chains. There is a place called Ralphs a few blocks from where we stay, and they have everything.

During our recent visit, we purchased some grocery items and the helpful woman at the checkout asked if we wanted our own Ralphs cards. Of course we did! The cards were immediately activated and we received instant discounts. Last night, before heading to a friend’s house, we drove to Ralphs in order to grab a bottle of vodka. The shelves had two different prices. The regular price was marked in black ink and the sales price was marked in red. (The sales prices were around six dollars less!)

As great as the discount prices seemed, there was a catch; you had to purchase six or more bottles to get the lower price. (I’d be lying if I said that we definitely didn’t consider grabbing a six pack of vodka!) We grabbed the one bottle and some cranberry juice. At checkout, the clerk asked if we had our Ralphs card, and we did.

That’s when amazing happened! The cranberry juice, which cost about five bucks, was discounted to a buck and a half. Good news, but not the amazing news. The total came out to less than twenty dollars because the vodka bottle sold at the discounted price. Using a Ralphs card allowed us to get the same discount as a none Ralphs member who purchased six bottles. Before I forget, Ralphs is open 24 hours. (This may turn out to be a problem!)

While searching for apartments, I discovered an excessive amount of sober living facilities. (You can read about my search in a previous post: Do You Want To Live Here.) It seemed like every other post was a sober living facility. I never understood why, but everything makes perfect sense, now. Los Angeles is a breeding ground for alcoholism. (I’m pretty sure the famous Hollywood sign is made of recycled beer cans!)

If you wanted to read my thoughts on Whitney Houston, I apologize for the delay; I will write about her in tomorrow’s post. (Unless I decide to post pone the entry!)

@PeteTeix617