Herp Pimp

*****Before I continue with this post, allow me to apologize for my tardiness. My work schedule will no longer allow me to write during the night, so I will be forced to make the necessary adjustments. It may take a few days for me to get back to posting prior to the middle of the day.*****

Some of you may be wondering, “what the hell is a herp pimp?” If you think it describes a pimp whose prostitutes spread herpes, you are greatly mistaken. A herp pimp has nothing to do with any sexual transmitted diseases.

Although there is no health risk to an individual who has a herp pimp, the stigma that comes with the appearance of this newly coined form of acne brings great shame. (Unfortunately, I had a recent firsthand experience!)

The herp pimp is simply a pimple which appears near the border of an individual’s mouth. An outside observer will immediately assume that a herp pimp is actually a cold sore, but it is not. A herp pimp appears on rare occasions and can be treated by simply popping the pimple.

A few days ago, I had a herp pimp, and luckily I popped it immediately. The herp pimp went away after only a day. It was a long and embarrassing day! I walked down the street and perfect strangers refused to share their drinks with me. (Screw them!)

If you ever find yourself in a situation in which someone has a cold sore, take a moment to make sure that it is not in fact a herp pimp. In the future, scientist will create a method of clearly distinguishing between the two, but for now, I suggest for people to use a sharpie and write a small “HP” near the affected facial area.  (Some situations require extreme measures!)

Here is an example of a herp pimp.

     For those who are skeptical about what they just read, go to Wikipedia and search for herp pimp! {Unfortunately, Wikipedia made the decision to enact the speedy deletion policy! DON’T BOTHER TO SEARCH FOR THE TERM.}

You will discover the answer if you go to Wikianswers and ask, “what is a herp pimp?”

***Tomorrow’s post will probably appear late in the afternoon!***


Published by Peter Teixeira

First and foremost, I enjoy writing stories. I recently completed my first novel, and I successfully co-wrote a short film script, which won the grand prize in the words made easy competition.

Join the Conversation


  1. I had knew all along that you would post!! But really this is what you chose to post?! Herp Pimp?!! You could’ve told us what your first week at work has been like as Bubba Cola’s spokesperson! But its better than no post…

Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: