Who Approved These (2)

Who Approved These Click the link to read the previous review!

Due to a lack of interest, I watched less television this week. I’m just kidding, I always have an interest for television, but the departure date for the move to Los Angeles is less than three weeks away and I’ve been busy. For this week’s commercial review, I will only discuss one bad ad. (I’m being extremely generous when I call the ad, BAD!)

The commercial is well known to anyone who either owns a television or spends an inordinate amount of time in Best Buy’s television section. (My initial thought was to say, Sears’ television section, but I realized how old that would make me seem, so I went with the younger, hipper, Best Buy!)

Waste of Money:

The bad ad comes from the Coors Brewing Company. Luckily for Coors, their product, Coors Light, is well known and reasonably priced, so there is no real need to worry themselves silly trying to figure out a great marketing campaign; they can afford to create nonsense. (This is a fact which is apparently obvious to the company!) As long as the product continues to remain budget friendly, people will continue to buy Coors Light.

Coors decided to take the easy way out and pay a celebrity to endorse their product rather than take the time to produce something creative. Well known rapper, actor, producer, and director, Ice Cube seemed to be the appropriate choice due to the fact that his name is the quintessence of cold. (Mr. Cube has come a long way from his days as a member of the infamous rap group, NWA!)

In the spot, Ice Cube argues with a can of Coors Light over who is colder. This would probably make more sense if the Coors Brewing Company created a can which remains cold without refrigeration, but they possess no such technology. If you take a can of Coors Light and place it under the hot summer sun, the beer will remain warm; like every other beer can in the known universe, Coors Light requires refrigeration.

The biggest mistake a company can make is to market something which cannot be controlled. Focusing your entire campaign on how cold your beer is; is idiotic. Only a dumbass would approve such nonsense! (I guess Budweiser cornered the market on “Tastes Great” and “Less Filling,” so the Coors Brewing Company felt compelled to monopolize the coldness market!)

Heineken actually has a great advertisement which mocks Coors’ “Cold Certified” label. Heineken shows off its basic can with absolutely no frills or thrills. Heineken reminds consumers that we have our hands to detect whether or not our beers are cold. (Heineken: Great tasting beer, and great marketing!)

The marketing strategy is bad, but the commercial gets worse. Often times, companies will create some ridiculous saying, that confuses the crap out of me. Coors laid a whopper on me. I have no clue what they are trying to convey with Ice Cube’s silly line, “I hope you got a mop in that bucket!”

What the hell does that even mean? It’s one of those dumb things that people say and everyone assumes that it has some significant meaning, but the truth is, the line is unbelievably dumb! In most instances, people are too worried about sounding like an ignoramus so they don’t challenge the words, but not me. I challenge Ice Cube and Coors to explain this nonsense. (In fact, I demand and explanation!)

I get that fact that Ice Cube is saying the can of Coors, which is inside of a bucket of Ice, will melt, therefore necessitating the use of a mop. What I don’t get is why he says it. The original premise is to discover which is colder, Ice Cube or the bucket of Coors Light. Is Ice Cube saying that he is so cold; his coldness will cause the ice in the bucket to melt? Does that even make any sense? What is going on in the world that people can actually produce such garbage? At no point in the commercial is there any source of heat. There will be no melting of ice; cubed or otherwise.

I can’t figure out the commercial and I have yet to find anyone who can make sense of Ice Cube’s asinine line. From this commercial, I take one fact; Ice Cube has reached a level of cold that is so extreme, he actually emits heat! (All I can say is, WOW!)

For the Coors Brewing Company, I have one suggestion. DON’T ATTEMPT TO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX, UNLESS YOU EMPLOY PEOPLE WHO CAN ACTUALLY THINK! Stick with the basic and show a bunch of half-naked women, drinking your beer! (The focus on coldness a bad idea, but since they decided to travel down that path, why couldn’t they just have Ice Cube say that the can of Coors light is colder than he is?)

I do not want to drink a can of Coors Light! Not only is the advertisement bad, but it is unfair; there are too many low IQ people in this world who will actually believe that the beer remains cold at all times. The Coors Brewing Company should be ashamed of their horrible marketing strategy!



Who Approved These 3

Published by Peter Teixeira

First and foremost, I enjoy writing stories. I recently completed my first novel, and I successfully co-wrote a short film script, which won the grand prize in the words made easy competition.

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  1. Lol…, it’s it the dumbest commercial ever! I think what they was doing was adding a disclaimer (audible rather then small print on the bottom of the screen). Meaning its not going to stay cold forever. *Shrugs*

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