Some of you may have noticed the number seven followed a date, at the end of yesterday’s post. The dedication was for my deceased cousin, Kevin, who died on the same date, five years ago; 12/8/06. To read about his tragic accident click the link: Kevin Fidalgo. (Here is the link to the other article:http://www.wickedlocal.com/cambridge/local_news/x1785630283#axzz1g157B4nY)
No one knows what actually happens after death, but there is one certainty; the person continues to live inside of the memories of others. I am an atheist and I highly doubt there is an afterlife, but I hope I am wrong; it would be nice to experience another realm. (For my thoughts on the afterlife, read my post: Where Are All The Dead People, My Conversation With Kevin, Unconventional Endings¸ and Are Ghosts Real.)
Traditionally, I visit my cousin’s grave at least twice a year; once on December 8th and once on June 23rd, his birthday. Since his accident, I spoke with Kevin on a nightly basis; always asking for him to watch over us. This year, once I became an atheist, the routine changed. I no longer wasted my time praying to the dead and a nonexistent “god.” I decided to keep Kevin in my memories and do my best to carry on his passion for living. Although he is dead, he is always with us, because we talk about him, constantly.
I decided to drive to the cemetery, yesterday. When I arrived, the area was empty. There was no eerie feeling or unexplained occurrences. I stepped out of the car and I felt a tad bit silly. I walked to his grave and simply observed. Part of me wanted to have a life changing experience, but I honestly felt like I was looking at a piece of superbly carved stone; nothing more. I didn’t feel the need to talk to Kevin, since he is dead and can’t hear me, so I decided to walk around and I visited the graves of other family members. My journey to the mysterious portal to the afterlife only lasted about fifteen minutes.
I’ll probably visit the gravestone again, in the future, but it will be more about ritual than making a connection. In no way am I trying to discourage people from believing life after death; feel free to talk to your loved ones. I just believe that my way of thinking is better because I keep my cousin’s memory with me every day, instead of waiting to meet in an afterlife which more than likely does not exist.
If you are still out there, Kevin; send me a sign. Write something in the comment section for this post. **I doubt he’ll write anything, but I’ll keep my fingers crossed!**
P.S. Don’t be a dick naughty person and create a fake profile named Kevin, just so you can write some asinine comment; YOU’RE BETTER THAN THAT!!!