I wanted to write a post which included all of the little things that make me laugh, but for some reason, I can only come up with one. Tonight, on the eve of our trip to LA, @Efidalgo12 and I decided to go over the script and add all of the finishing touches. (It is past 4am, I am finally done packing, and my mind is in remedial mode! Furthermore, we’re leaving at 6:30am!)
We successfully completed the corrections, but I’m sure once I read the script during the flight, there will be more adjustments. @Efidalgo12 will also decide to add new wrinkles. (Writers are never truly satisfied; we always feel as if we can enhance something to improve the project!)
Here is the one little thing which I recalled:
- A couple months ago, I decided to create a Facebook page for the blog. Originally, the page was named Peter Teixeira. When I launched the page, I was the first to click the “like” button. For the entire day, the Facebook widget read, “One person likes Peter Teixeira,” and below was a picture of me! (Partly, I wished that it would remain the same forever, but change is inevitable!)
I honestly can’t remember any of the many hilarious little things, but I’ll include an excerpt from Penn Jillette’s book, which I’ve been reading. I found many hilarious quotes, but I have decided to only include this one. When discussing family friends who are lesbians, Jillette writes, “Hey, you talk against lesbians around my fucking family, we take you down to Chinatown.” (I don’t know why, but I love that line!)
I honestly want to end this post right here, but for some reason, I don’t feel as if it is complete. I will take a few moments to try and come up with at least a couple more little things.
- Last week, I invited my nephew for some sushi. There is a place relatively close to my neighborhood, and he agreed to accompany me. I parked in an empty spot across the street from the restaurant, and we crossed Washington St without being killed. I would name the establishment, but I always forget what it is called and I am way too tired to look it up. I approached the door and attempted to pull it open; the large wooden object did not budge. “You’re supposed to push it open!” My nephew mocked, while laughing. “Thank you genius!” I replied. We placed our order and after paying, I decided to drive to the nearby fish store to pick up some Cray fish for my Redtail Carfish. (I figured it was only fair to bring home a treat for the fish, as well!) I told the accommodating woman that we would return shortly, I shared the plan with my nephew and we headed for the door. As if I am a complete moron, I pushed. Laughter filled the foyer, then I heard, “I can’t believe it; you’re so dumb! I can’t wait until we come back to see if you can finally get it right! You’re 0 for 2!” All I could do was laugh. I am proud to announce that I did in fact learn the proper procedure, and I will never make the mistake again!
- Last summer, on a warm Sunday night, my nephew joined me for one of our many missions to kill hunger; he decided he wanted Wendy’s. For some reason, I decided to drive to the fast food joint in Quincy. (Don’t ask me why; I just love Quincy!) It was an uneventful trip. We returned to the house and I parked the car in the yard. We walked towards the gate, and he waited for me to lock up. I had a bag of food in my left hand along with the keys, the chain and lock in my right hand along with my soft drink. (If you know me, you probably think I ordered a Coke, but Wendy’s is one of those “other cola” only establishments so I went with Mountain Dew!) I’ve done this a thousand times with little trouble, but for some reason, the comedy gods favor my nephew. Inexplicably, my drink crashed, creating a small pond fit for ants and beetles. For a second, I thought I was seated in the bleachers at Fenway Park, during the ninth inning of a playoff game, watching David Ortiz hit a game winning homerun. My nephew was jumping up and down and yelling, “Yay! Great job idiot!” Again, there was nothing I could do, other than laugh!
That’s all I am willing to force myself to produce!
Thanks for reading! (I trust that Jet Blue has a strict policy against drunk pilots so we should arrive safely in Los Angeles!)