Ain’t That Something

To all of my contemporaries, we are now in the age of DUMB!

Society has lowered the standards of education once more. When I was a child, I remember students gathering in the summer months, sitting in the town square and transcribing our own textbooks, as our teachers read aloud. I would then join my classmates on a twenty mile journey outside of the town, to a factory where skilled craftsmen taught us to bind our own books; the very textbooks that we used during the school year.

For centuries, ever since the King produced his English and taught the rules to his people, children were scolded for saying ain’t instead of ‘isn’t’ or ‘aren’t’. Eventually, each child understood the lesson and stopped saying ain’t. (The good old days are over!)

Now, instead of teaching children how to speak properly, adults have lost their minds and added ain’t to the dictionary. (And they wonder why the students in the United States lag behind other developed countries!)

Historians will look back on our era and laugh. The beginning of the twenty first century will be forever known as the “Dark Age of Literacy!” (Please remember who coined the term!)

There will be school plays, performed by students, held in every town. The main character, a scrawny boy named George W, will be picked on by a bully. The torment will be too great for George W causing him to ponder dropping out of school. Luckily for the protagonist, he will overhear the Bully say, “I ain’t going anywhere!” George W will tell everyone about the egregious grammatical error, during recess. The bully will be embarrassed and beg his parents to leave the town. (I hope there is an afterlife so I can witness the first performance!)

Please don’t use ain’t! Every time a person utters the “word,” the King sheds a tear!


Published by Peter Teixeira

First and foremost, I enjoy writing stories. I recently completed my first novel, and I successfully co-wrote a short film script, which won the grand prize in the words made easy competition.

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