The Good Die Young

We live in a world of followers. Following is terrific if you’re on Twitter but when it comes to living life, be an original person. Make your own tuna fish sandwich towards success. I know that analogy doesn’t make any sense but if I said, “pave your own road,” the detractors would have pointed out that I was being cliché and not original! (Upon further review, the tuna analogy makes perfect sense. Successful people should make their own sandwiches to ensure a fulfilling lunch!)

There are many quotes which make absolutely no sense, but people quickly agree that they are great. I see a lot of these quotes on Facebook and Twitter but I don’t comment on them because people are ultra-sensitive and I don’t want to make any enemies. I have discovered that whenever I decide to apply logic to the Facebook posts, I am treated like a villain. (I have the desire to search through the tweets and status updates and post some of them, but I will control myself. I really hate that people are so sensitive; we should be able to point out when others share nonsensical quotes!)

It’s amazing how things work out. While I was constructing this post, my cousin @JFidda walked in. He was perusing his Facebook and came across a rather interesting quote. His reaction was priceless; he thought the comment was ridiculous. I agreed and thanked him for providing me with something to write about! (Thanks again @JFidda!)

I think many people read something and allow their emotions to distract them from thinking clearly; I use reason. The picture that he showed me seemed nonsensical. I’m sure many of you have come across this wonderful display of “mind-numbing greatness!” There is a split screen with the late Steve Jobs on one side; above his face is the caption, “ONE DIES, MILLION CRIES.” The other photo is of a group of downtrodden African children, most likely the victims off a civil war. Above the gloomy youths reads, “MILLION DIE, NO ONE CRIES.” This is actually the perfect example to discuss because thousands of people like the post and thousands have commented. I read through some and people seem to be extremely ticked off by the statement. (Apparently, I missed the memo which stated, “people who cry for Jobs hate African civil war victims!”)

Are you seriously trying to tell me that no one cried when the million died? Not one freaking person? Not a mother, a grandmother, a sister, a father, not even a long lost cousin? C’mon, you don’t believe no one cried, do you? I bet at least seven people cried while reading the post, alone; not to mention the millions of people who cried during the fighting. How can you substantiate such a bold claim? This is a rather egregious error on the part of the creator; we should not encourage this baloney.

This is not a personal attack on anyone’s favorite quote; people are free to enjoy whatever they please. The way I see it, when someone posts anything on the World Wide Web, they are giving everyone else in the world permission to offer an opinion. As a good friend, I would be an asshole if I didn’t share my views on the posts which I disagree with; on my blog of course. I’ll do my best not to comment on Facebook and Twitter; no promises though! (I try not to comment on Facebook because people will assume that I am just being a jerk when in fact, I am simply helping them to see the error of their ways!)

The only parallel that I derive from the two pictures is the fact that neither event made me cry. I am not one of the million who cried for Jobs; but I am a guilty member of the many “no ones” who failed to cry for the children. (It’s not that I lack compassion, I just understand the fact that “these things happen!”)

I will now focus on the original quote. (Feel free to bash anything that I ever write; I don’t have the sensitive gene! If you agree with the quote, “the good die young,” comment about how much of a dumbass I am!) **I reserve the right to post a rebuttal!**

Here are some logical questions for anyone who truly believes “the good die young.” I was actually planning on applying the rules for sentential logic, but it is past midnight and I need to get to bed. (Hopefully I’ll be able to use the rules on a future post!)

Why do we tell children to be good?

The way I see it, if it is indeed a fact that the good die young, why would anyone attempt to teach his or her child to be good? I don’t have any children, but I can imagine I wouldn’t want any of my offspring to die young.

Conclusion: Based on the statements above, the good do not die young; at least not all of them. Some of the people who die young are good, but good people can grow to be old. (For those parents who want their children to die young, the quote remains viable!)

Are all of the people who die young, good?

The answer is an unequivocal NO! This is simple to disprove. All I have to do is mention Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris. Regardless of the reasons which led to the Massacre at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado; these two young people were not good. In fact, they were bad; very bad! (Very very very bad!)

Conclusion: There are young people who cannot be considered good. (If you support the two mass murderers, and believe children should be allowed to kill their classmates along with members of the faculty, then the quote may still be valid!)

What age is young?

How do we define young? It is a relative age. If you speak to a person who is 97, young can be anywhere from 0-70. If you speak to a twelve year-old, young will probably be from 0-8. Luckily, we have our good friends at Merriam-Webster to help us with a definition for young.

Young: being in the first or an early stage of life, growth, or development; having little experience.

     For the sake of this post we will say “40 is the new 30,” so young is any age between 0-39!

There is no way I can believe a statement which claims that there are no good people over the age of 39. I can run off a list, but I’ll just go with Mother Teresa; she was pretty old and pretty good!

Conclusion: Applying the defined age for young will clearly prove the quote to be untrue. There are too many “old” people who are good. (If you believe there are no people over the age of thirty-nine who are good; the quote may be true!)

Maybe the quote is saying, “old people are all bad;” since they add “only?“

I guess I should just go to my grandparents and tell them that they are no-good evil people who are taking up space on this planet and breathing up all of the good people’s air! Think before you agree with some dumbass statement. Old people can be good!

Conclusion: If you ever say this quote in my presence, I will be forced to defend the honor of my grandparents and smack you upside your head. I am not a proponent of violence! (If you are a complete asshole, and you believe that my grandparents are not good people, you are just an asshole! And yeah, I guess if that’s your dumbass belief then the quote can be correct!)

Do the good also die old; making the statement insignificant?

Maybe I got it wrong. Maybe the statement allows for both young people and old people to be good. The word “only” is not added all the time. Great; if that’s the case, what is the point of this statement? It’s completely pointless. If the first idiot who uttered this dumbass quote said what her pea-brain mind actually wanted to say, everyone would have presumed her to be an imbecile. (Yes, I gave credit for this “tremendous” quote to a woman. “Why?” Because women never get credit for anything! I am against people who are sexist!)

Here is the actual translation of the quote from Dumbassian to English. “There are young people and there are old people. Both old people and young people can die. When people die, it’s customary to say they were good in order to make their family members feel good during the grieving process.”

To the amazing woman who created this timeless quote, next time you come up with a great idea; do us all a favor and SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Conclusion: The quote is plain old DUMB! (Unless you are an imbecile, in which case, the quote is phenomenal!)

****I won’t even get into the definition of “good!”****

     This is my gripe with death in general. I’m sick of hearing about all the good people who die. Some of the people who fail to live out their lives until arriving at a natural end were evil and they got what was coming to them!

No offense to any of the good people who died young!

@PeteTeix617