Let me preface this post by stating a fact. Bullying is wrong and has no place in society.
That being said, bullies will always be present. The key is to teach children how to react to a bully. As long as parents continue to plop their children in front of the boob-tube, kids will learn to become bullies. We live in a cruel society and children are aware of everything that goes on around them. (Note to parents: Stop allowing the TV to raise your children!)
I attended Boston Latin and it seemed as if the school was full of bullies. People just found a way to get with the program. Obviously, bullying shouldn’t exist, but anyone who can make it through adverse situations will be better prepared for the real world. After all, isn’t that what school is all about! (You can’t prevent other children from being bullies, but you can teach your children how to deal with bullying; that’s part of being a parent!)
I honestly consider the “bullying” that occurred in high school as good-natured ribbing, but I can understand the opposing view. At BLS, every class has a will. There are designated pages in the yearbook in which students write random comments. Our will was so bad that it was disallowed. (There were comments about a girl who everyone voted ‘Most likely to become a head master;” nothing unusual about that. Until the faculty learned that she was elected because she performed fellatio on a fellow graduating senior!)
Recently there have been two notable cases in which children have committed suicide “because of bullying.” You have to be kidding me. Bullying is bad, but it doesn’t cause people to kill themselves. I don’t have the exact numbers but if I was going to ballpark-it, I would say that there are 836 million cases of bullying that occur in the world each year. Out of that number, I would say, there are 13 suicides, worldwide. Blaming bullies is simply wrong. (Parents need to take responsibility!)
Bullies should be punished by the school principals and their parents, not the court system. Parents and teachers have to step it up. There are too many kids who persevere through difficult situations, for anyone to blame bullies for suicides. Some children don’t have the parental guidance to help them get through life’s hardships. Many people feel sorry for the children who kill themselves, but I feel sorry for the bullies. They are blamed for the actions of unloved children. (It’s absolutely unfair!)
Parents who go on television and blame other children for the death of their unloved child are out of touch with reality. These are the types of incidents which cause me to be a major proponent of forced abortions. Every occupation in this world requires some form of testing or screening process, but any horny idiot with a willing sex partner can have a child. It’s ridiculous. (People should be screened before we allow them to have children; it’s not right to allow a child to come into this world under adverse situations!)
Adults who commit suicide have only themselves to blame, but child suicide is the cause of bad parenting. If a parent loses his or her child to suicide, there will be many friends and family members who say, “don’t blame yourself.” I say bullshit. Parents should accept full responsibility for adolescent suicides.
It breaks my heart to watch children be vilified for bullying their schoolmates. Making an example of children because they committed acts which were learned from society is wrong. Bullies should be chastised but they are not murderers.
Suicide prevention is simple; involve yourself in your child’s life. Take an active role. Parenting is not like sports; you don’t get credit for trying your best. Be responsible and raise your children the right way. “Who determines the right way?” Let’s start with teaching your children not to kill themselves. Being a parent is a difficult job; many people are not prepared. (We can’t blame others for bad parenting!)
“It’s not fair to blame parents if a depressed child commits suicide.” Are you kidding me? Yes, I agree; parents can’t be blamed if a child has depression, but parents can be blamed for not helping the child get through the low moments. How do you not know that your child is depressed? Get involved. Take the child to a therapist and do whatever it takes to heal the child. (There is nothing that a parent’s love can’t cure!)
There is a clear distinction between adult suicide and child suicide. Children don’t know any better; they have to be taught that their lives have value. Adults are different. I can never feel sorry for an adult who commits suicide. (This is coming from someone whose uncle committed suicide!)
I once took a class called The Anthropology of Death’ in which we watched a documentary about suicide. The name of the film is The Bridge. I actually viewed the documentary before I signed up for the course, because that’s what I do. A filmmaker placed a camera across from the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco and recorded the people who jumped to their deaths. (It’s unbelievable how many people jumped!)
There was even one guy who survived. His story was quite interesting. (Watch the movie!)
The professor asked for our opinions and I said, if I had the power, I would build a ladder for people to climb to the top of the bridge, so they could ensure death. My reasoning was, if you don’t think you deserve to live, who am I to say you should stay alive. I was pulled to the side when the period ended and the professor thought I was just trying to add shock value, but I was clear about my views; some people don’t deserve to live. (I know it’s horrible to say, but I can only speak the truth!)
To me, suicide is a cowardly act. Life has many challenges and suicide is a lame way to leave this realm. We all have difficult moments. There are many children who grow up with horrible parents and they are able to overcome every obstacle and achieve great success. Those are the true heroes!
Kids say mean things, and those children will grow up to be mean adults. Teach your children how to deal with a bully and prepare them for the future. Stop looking for excuses for your bad parenting!