Death Penalty & The U

****I will reveal my biased opinion of The University of Miami before I discuss the matter at hand!****

     I have always hated the University of Miami. “Of course you do; you’re a Gators fan and they are one of the interstate rivals!” No! When I say I have always hated the University of Miami, I am talking about even before I became a fan of college football. I didn’t even know the Florida Gators existed when my disgust for the sugar-canes began. “Why?” DOUG FLUTIE!

My aunt purchased a VHS cassette for my cousin Kevin in the mid-eighties. The tape is still around but it isn’t a movie; the title is WHY EAGLES SOAR, and it is a documentary about BC’s most beloved athlete of all time, Heisman Trophy winner Doug Flutie! (The Heisman Trophy is awarded to the best college football player each year!)

In the documentary, the antagonists are the players and coaches from the University of Miami. Flutie defeated the sugar-canes; throwing a miraculous “hail mary” pass with only six seconds remaining in the game. (I used the words ‘miraculous’ and ‘hail mary’ because they are football terms!)  I’ve hated Miami ever since I first watched that wonderful tape!

In this case, the death penalty is not that wonderful tool used by governments to rid society of evil-doers. (Yes, I am a proponent of the death penalty since we cannot torture!) I am referring to the ‘Repeat Violator’ rule, which applies to every collegiate sport.

RULE: If a school is found guilty of a second major violation, within a five year period, the institution can be banned from participating in the particular sport for a two year period. “No big deal!” Really? It’s a very big deal!

In football the rule has only been applied once, SMU in 1987, and the impact was immense. Not only was the school affected, but the school’s conference was dismantled and no longer exists. For those who are not familiar with the story, I will elaborate. SMU decided to pay players to attend the school.

(Best part of the story: Eric Dickerson, a great running back, committed to Texas A&M because they bought him a brand new gold Trans-Am. He wanted to change his mind, but already had the car, “Purchased by my grandmother!” SMU officials convinced Dickerson to leave A&M and attend Southern Methodist University. “What did A&M do about the car?” Nothing! It is against NCAA rules to give players extra benefits so they had to take the loss!)

SMU recruited one of the best classes money could buy and elevated the football team from abysmal to undefeated! (Although they won every game except for one tie, the school was not voted to be National Champions. The title was given to a one-loss Penn State team…BULLSHIT!!!) Long story short, SMU has yet to recover from the death penalty! (I guess they may never recover since the rule has been nicknamed “THE DEATH PENALTY”)

“Why is all of this important?” I’ll tell you!

The University of Miami is under investigation and the term “Death Penalty” is being used for the first time since 1987. Apparently, one of the school’s boosters was involved in a billion dollar Ponzi scheme, and he was used the ill-gotten money to give extra benefits to the University of Miami athletes, from 2002 through 2010, a clear violation of NCAA policy—Nevin Shapiro is my hero!!! (He is the wonderful man who helped the school cheat to sign recruits, then snitched when they refused to support him after he was arrested for being a Ponzi schemer!) Wait…I take back that hero comment. I just remembered that the asshole, Shapiro, offered up a bounty to any sugar-cane player who could injure Tim Tebow. (Tebow is a former Florida Gator Heisman Trophy winner, a two time National Champion, and the greatest college football player of all time!) {My unbiased opinion!}

The University of Miami is known as The U. “Wow! Since they are the best University in America?” NO! The great folks in Coral Gables are so uncreative that the school logo is an actual green and orange U! (I kid you not! I honestly believe the players call the school “The U” for the simple fact that most of them can’t spell University! GO GATORS!!!) The school seems to have no idea what they are doing. They are the hurricanes, the logo is a U, and the mascot is an ibis named Sebastian. (I call them the sugar-canes because they are softer than lil’ Wayne’s leather!)

“Should the sugar-canes receive the death penalty?” Hell Yes! The school has a history of breaking the rules in order to compete with the big boys. Boston College knew Miami cheated, from the beginning; the rivalry game between the two schools is better known as “the Catholics vs. the Convicts!” (How could you not love BC!)

Many sugar-cane fans argue that the ESPN 30 for 30 documentary about The U is the best, and I concur, but I believe the film actually hurts the school. First of all, the defiance shown in the piece is brazen and unnecessary. Former players give interviews in which they blatantly admit to receiving improper benefits. (The biggest supporter of the football program was none other than famous Miami rapper, Uncle Luke from 2Live Crew!)

The documentary most likely angered NCAA officials and placed the school under the microscope. Also, the interviews of former players who were upset at the fact that school officials never recognized the impact of the team on the yearly increase of University applicants, is a huge negative. (In 1983, Miami won its first National Championship. The victory had a direct impact on enrollment, which grew by fifteen percent!) Snubbing the football team may repel future recruits from choosing to accept scholarship offers. (To any athlete considering becoming a sugar-cane. The games are played off campus, the stadium is never filled to capacity, the facilities are less than stellar, and the school is about to receive the death penalty! You might want to reconsider and take a look at the wonderful institution located in Gainesville, a few hours north of Coral Gables! GO GATORS!!!)

I commend the leaders of the school for attempting to turn Miami into the “Stanford of the East and the Harvard of the South,” but most highly skilled athletes want to be pampered. (I am not suggesting that great players do not concentrate on their education, because Tim Tebow did, but the overwhelming majority are more concerned with attending a school which supports the football program!) Maybe the powers that be will be able to prove there is no correlation between football success and the University of Miami’s improved academic standards, once the Death Penalty is handed out. The ‘repeat violators’ rule should be enforced because the documentary clearly reveals a continuous University policy to disregard NCAA laws. Miami deserves the death penalty! (The impact will be great, but not as major as the SMU case…Miami is not a national power!)

One may argue that the sugar-canes do not deserve the death penalty, and maybe I am incapable of being unbiased in this situation. Oh well! To NCAA president Mark Emmert, I say, “Let’s have ourselves a hanging tonight…STRING THEM UP, BOYS!!!”

GO GATORS!!!

     **Interesting fact of the day:**

@Efidalgo12 attended the University of Miami during Shapiro’s tenure as Lord Booster! I WONDER ABOUT HIS INVOLVEMENT IN THE SCANDAL!!!

@PeteTeix617

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25 responses to “Death Penalty & The U

  1. Great post!
    So do you think the Gators does not buy players? The “U” got caught, I’m pretty sure if the “Death Penalty” is “put down” (pun intended) every other, schools scandal will surface. Just like “SpyGate”, jets (lowercase I don’t respect their team) said we cheated, and come to fins out everyone was doing it. “Lets go Ole Miss!”

    • The University of Florida has one of the best on campus facilites and the Swamp was voted #1 homefield advantage. The Gators have a long traditiong of WINNING, and the talent pool in the surrounding area is amazing. Tebow went to Florida because he grew up a Gators fan. Most of the players do. Small, crappy schools like Miami NEED to heat in order to compete. The Gators do it the right way…THE GATOR WAY!

    • Yeah, a lot of people prefer the NFL, but I love college football. The atmosphere is more exciting and the games are unpredictable…Upsets every week! The Blind Side is good, but Ole Miss is bad. GO GATORS!!!

  2. What?! College athletes getting bribes?! Coaches doing unlawful things to ensure they keep their top players happy?! THE HORROR!!! Tell me something I don’t know! The only reason this is a big deal is because its out in the open, but come on, there are few schools in the country that aren’t doing the exact same thing. And I say schools instead of colleges because this is also happening on a high school level. Maybe not to the extent it happens in colleges but it happens. We’ve created a system where our young athletic students expect to be payed out and pampered for their services. I definitely agree that The “U” (you know I always wondered why they called themselves that? I did think it was lack of creativity, thanks for confirming!) should receive the “death penalty” but then can we please start looking into other college athletic programs and hold them accountable as well. Because if we’re just going to pretend that this is unique to Miami then that’s just dumb and we should just let Miami continue to do as they please. They’re not really hurting anyone. Hold all accountable or none at all!!! You’ve never heard of a scandal like this at UMASS!!! Go Beacons! Actually I could care less about the Beacons (like most of the country) but since everyone is throwing around their college teams I figured I’d show UMASS a little love even if they are division 3!

    • Beacons all the way! We’ll rule D3 one day. I agree that most schools cheat, with the only exception being Florida! I don’t mind if the NCAA refuses to punish Miami, after all, the team sucks! Cheating is just one more thing the school sucks at!

  3. This is by far the dumbest thing you’ve ever written. I am almost ashamed that I believe in free speech if this is the sort of rhetoric passing as a good blog these days. I hope WordPress has a ‘random’ audit of stupid Gator fans posts and gets rid of your account.

    Although this is as annoying as answering a 5 year old’s “why?” question to everything, let me clarify some things.

    ‘The U’ stands for our dominating pressence in the collegiate landscape. Out of 5,758 higher education schools in the U.S. only one is commonly refered to as ‘The U’. Its a symbol of respect, recognition, and acceptance of defeat on the University of Florida’s part.

    As previously mentioned, every school does this kind of thing. The only reason we are in the spotlight is because we were unlucky enough to have the biggest loser in the world as our main booster. He conned a billion dollars out of thousands of people and used some of it to bring talent to Miami. The guy is clearly pissed he wasnt featured in Miami’s 30 for 30 on ESPN and wants some recognition. No, ESPN will not remake 30 for 30 to feature him, and yes, he will spend the next 20 yrs (well probably more like 12) in prison. Hopefully Ray Lewis gets put away in the same facility after he inevitably fucks up again and tortures him to death.

    ***THIS JUST IN***
    The University of Florida is under investigation by the NCAA, after an alleged gay booster named Peter Teixeira was caught giving players unlimited blowjobs to play football for the Gay-tors. Tim Tebow declined comment, but smiled gently at the sound of Peter’s name.

    – @Efidalgo12

    • Ha ha!
      I spoke with everyone and we will allow all Miami fans to pick a new team, due to the death penalty! Only one stipulation. The team has to be equally “sucky!”

      Go Gators!!!

  4. Hahahaha! You can talk about all kinds of controversial topics but none will hit a nerve like when you trash talk someone’s favorite teams! Nothing brings out people’s emotions (especially men but not limited to because there are some die hard female fans out there, myself included) like sports. You wanna see a grown man cry?! I often times do! Have him watch his favorite team get crushed by a rival team, no matter how long ago the defeat was it’ll stir up emotions that you’d think should be reserved for the loss of a loved one! You gotta love sports!!

    • Well said! Sports will cause the most manly of men to cry. In 2013, the Mighty Florida Gators will travel to Miami and crush the sugar-canes! I will be ther with Ema and Nel! Hopefully I won’t die!

  5. Peter, I’ll pray for u, but maybe by 2013 the U won’t have a football team and thus eliminating the need for me to put God in a position where he has to protect an atheist! So its win win!

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