Population Control – Emanuel Fidalgo (guest blog)

GUEST POST by Emanuel Fidalgo

The British have always known what’s best for the world. They knew English would become the most important language. They knew to separate themselves from the Roman Catholics and to rewrite the Bible, making the King James Bible the most read. They knew to conquer Native Americans and turn their land into the most powerful country in the world.

Well, they’ve done it again. The same people who brought you Romeo & Juliet. The very same people whose history made ‘Braveheart’ possible. The UK has now mainstreamed the greatest phenomenon since the Spice Girls.

Population Control.

They are actually paying prostitutes to effectively “spay” themselves by swallowing a pill, in order to prevent unfavorable births. Don’t believe me? Look it up. Go to whatever news source you trust and use, and look that shit up.

This is going to catch like Randy Moss. Like Mono. Like 22.

God save the queen.

They’ve done it again. They’ve figured out that in order to eliminate hunger, we must eliminate the possibility of kids being born into hunger. What happens when only parents who can feed their children are allowed to have children? No more world hunger.

What happens when only parents with high moral standards who are fit to teach wrong and right are allowed to have kids? World peace.

I know, I’m starting to sound like a beauty pageant, but doesn’t it make sense?

Obviously we would never personally see the results. It would take at least another 100 years for our “undesirables” to die out and even then we would have to allow another couple of decades to ensure everyone from the old ways are dead and gone. Just imagine India, China, Kenya, Cape Verde, Angola (OK i could probably name 90% of African countries) all without issues of poverty and war. What would immigrants even need the U.S. for? Wouldn’t that make you all very happy, white people?

I’m not saying to force feed this thing to people. We could always just hide it in their water.

And don’t think America is exempt from this pill. Oh no, we are in dire need of it. In the United States, child support is a $500 billion industry. Yes, billion. That means women who have no business having kids will try anything to get pregnant just to collect child support. And child support is just a small piece of the Divorce industry. Go reread Peter’s blog about the divorce party, that could really help us get this shit under control.

I could probably write a book on this, but since it’s a blog I will stop here and urge you to urge 10 of your mostly incapable friends to fly to London and take this pill. Hopefully we can work something out with the US government to pay for their airfare. Let’s spread the word, and make #populationcontrol a trending topic. You will be helping to save our planet.

Instead of going green, go eggless. How about that for a trending topic, #GoEgg-less

And don’t forget to visit GoEgg-less.org and you could help save the world one needless baby at a time.


Published by Peter Teixeira

First and foremost, I enjoy writing stories. I recently completed my first novel, and I successfully co-wrote a short film script, which won the grand prize in the words made easy competition.

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  1. I love it. #GoEgg-less! I am all for population control. There are too many irresponsible people having children. The standards, for what is considered a “good parent,” have been lowered; they continue to go down, quicker than a drunken whore, with a cold sore, at a frat party! (That’s quick!!!)

    You know me, I would even take it a step further…FORCED ABORTIONS!!!

    “What about the people who don’t believe in abortion?” They ask.

    Guys, put on a fucking condom, and ladies—keep your fucking legs closed!!! (I say fuck for emphasis!)

    “You don’t understand how hard it is, YOU DON’T HAVE KIDS!” They say.

    No, I do understand how hard it is, which is why I DON’T HAVE CHILDREN!!!

    Don’t get me wrong, I love children, which is why I contain these feelings!!! (Who knows, maybe I’ll expand on this subject in a future post! **Keep an eye out for, ‘Why I Don’t Want Children’**)

    Keep an eye out? How the Hell do you do that—we have some really weird sayings in this country!!!

  2. Agreed, there are just ppl that have no business having children and shouldn’t be given the option. But I’m all about equality so we need to make a pill available for men as well or just neuter them…my dog had it done and he’s much more pleasant! #Testi-less!!

  3. are you saying prostitution is legal there, that’s probably not the point you was trying to get through lol anyways i like government assisted abortions better and maybe some accessible condom vending machines at every liquor store.

  4. Actually in the UK paying for sex is not a crime, but all the other stuff that comes with prostitution (pimping, brothels etc.) is. Yeah those solutions could actually be implemented in the near future, write to your elected official!!

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