Tag Archives: Tebow

Good Hood, Bad Hood

Posted by Peter Teixeira on

Recent events have brought up an important question. ARE HOODIES GOOD?

     In an effort to arrive at a conclusion, I will post various pictures of hoods along with whether or not I feel the hood is good or bad. You can decide for yourselves.

(1)

Darth Maul

BAD

 

(2)

Grim reaper

BAD

 

(3)

Lindsey Lohan

BAD INFLUENCE

 

(4)

Frodo Baggins

GOOD

 

(5)

Obi-Wan Kenobi

GOOD

 

(6)

Baby

GOOD

 

(7)

Little red riding hood

GOOD

 

(8)

Happy Panda Kids

MORE CUTE THAN GOOD

 

(9)

Ku Klux Klan

MORE IGNORANT THAN BAD

 

(10)

Dalai Lama

GOOD

 

(11)

Lady Gaga

WEIRDLY GOOD

 

(12)

Mother Theresa

WAS GOOD

 

(13)

The Pope

INFALLIBLY GOOD

 

(14)

Random Woman

NOTHING BAD ABOUT THIS

 

(15)

Scream

BAD

 

(16)

Jesus

NOT AS GOOD AS TEBOW

 

(17)

Robin Hood

GOOD INTENTIONS

 

(18)

Virgin Mary

GOOD, IF YOU BUY HER RIDICULOUS STORY

 

(19)

Rihanna

BAD HIT

 

(20)

Victoria’s Secret Model

LOOKS GOOD

 

(21)

Whitney Houston

EXPIRED, BUT WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

 

(22)

Bill Belichick

EVIL

 

(23)

Another Victoria’s Secret Model

GOOD GIRL GONE BAD


(24)

Hood Milk

GOOD FOR YOU

 

(25)

Clitoral Hood

MY FAVORITE

 

     Although there were some great examples of good hoods, I conclude that hoods are BAD! (Except for 25)

     Please think for yourselves. Don’t allow my opinion to influence your conclusion.

@PeteTeix617

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This Actually Happened — December 31st, 2011

Posted by Peter Teixeira on

Not What I Planned

Tonight is New Year’s Eve. I decided that Friday was going to be a relaxation day. I planned on staying home, watching television, and doing absolutely nothing. I left work and purchased some sushi. I enjoyed my meal and planned on doing nada for the night. Everything was going as planned until I received a call from @EFidalgo12. “We have to plan for Thursday. We have to go to Restaurante Cesaria!” I did not want to go. Eventually, I gave in and agreed to join him. It is official; we are planning a good bye party at Cesaria on Thursday, January 5th. Be there or be square! (We are seriously considering a policy in which we will not allow people to visit us in LA, unless they attend!) Instead of going home, we decided to go to a BAH. Drinks were on deck and we spent the night with family and friends. I would have preferred to stay home, but it is always wonderful to be around great people. My New Year’s plans are set; it looks like I’ll be at Brandy Pete’s. I’ve never been, but it’s an event thrown by my cousins so I’ll be there. Where will I end up at the end of the night; no one knows! I am too tired and inebriated to continue this post, so this is all I wish to divulge. The night was weird, but I am not sure if I trust myself to decide which information is appropriate, so mums the word. (Too many inappropriate things happened!) I don’t think I will ever go to Tequila Rain, again. When you are in a bah and there are people who battle one another on the dance floor, you are in a weird place! BELIEVE IT OR NOT!

Tomorrow, the Great Tim Tebow will lead the Denver Broncos to a victory over the Kansas City Chefs! (Great googly moogly!)

It’s New Year’s so drink up and do things that regular people would regret!

Please don’t waste your time with any New Year’s resolutions; your just creating an unattainable goal!

It’s Tebow Time!!!

@PeteTeix617

This Actually Happened – December 24th, 2011

Posted by Peter Teixeira on

You Betcha

     Although the Denver Broncos lost last week, some good may come out of the game; I made an interesting bet with one of my cousins. At the end of the day, nothing may come out of this, but if one of us wins, it will be epic! Before I reveal the details of the wager, allow me to give some background. My cousin is the executive director of a nonprofit organization. He has an Ivy League degree, and he has never consumed a drop of alcohol. If the Denver Broncos win the Super Bowl, he will be forced to purchase a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label and take three shots. (I hope he doesn’t turn into an alcoholic! *WINK*) If the New England Patriots win the Super Bowl, I will have to attend a mass at St Patrick’s Church in Roxbury, and SING the hymn! (Lucky for me, I have a great singing voice!) I have faith in Tebow! I honestly think the Broncos will come through for me! BELIEVE IT OR NOT!

I RECENTLY EXPERIENCED A MIRACLE! I DRANK A RED BULL BOTTLE AND OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST APPEARED, RIGHT BEFORE MY EYES!!! THANKFULLY, I CAPTURED A PHOTO!!!

HE’S A LOT SMALLER THAN I THOUGHT!

@PeteTeix617

Humble Pie Tastes Like Chicken

Posted by Peter Teixeira on

Statistics are wonderful and can be helpful during any sports argument, but there is one guaranteed truth; the winning team is better than the losing team. If you don’t believe me, try telling a Chiefs fan that the Packers are better! Yesterday, I watched my Denver Broncos lose to the Patsies; I was not happy with the results. (Losses are for losers!)

I love the passion that comes from true sports fans. There is nothing that I enjoy more than great trash talking. I can dish it out and I have no problem listening to someone else gloat as their team beats my team. I am a diehard fan who believes that my team is better than your team. Unfortunately, we can’t win every game. It seems that the Broncos winning streak ends at six. In the next few weeks, I will hear a bunch of nonsense about how bad the team is, but we all know the truth; the Broncos are Super Bowl contenders!

As much as I hate to say it, the Patsies were the better team. Nothing matters other than the final score. Although I am extremely upset with the way the Broncos played, I believe the team will continue to improve. At the end of the day, win or lose, the Broncos were locked into the 4th playoff spot; the loss wasn’t really a big deal, except for the fact that it was a BIG deal. (There is nothing worse than losing to the Patsies!)

Great words, except for the nonsense at the end!

     These famous words come from the great Tim Tebow. In 2008, the Gators lost to Ole Miss, and Tebow promised to perform at a higher level; the team won the National Title at the end if the season! I believe in Tim Tebow!

Yesterday’s loss reminds me of an incident which happened 2001. The New England Patsies started the season at 1-3. We tortured the fans and looked forward to another horrible season for the hometown scrubs. If you have a decent memory, you will remember that the Patsies turned their season around and won the Super Bowl. (Tebow will lead the Broncos to the promise land!)

I have nothing more to say about the game. Congrats to the Patsies; we will play better in the future! To the victor, go the spoils!

Go Broncos!

 It’s still TEBOW TIME!!!

P.S. If you are wondering, I did not enjoy writing this post!

@PeteTeix617

Coming this week (24)

Posted by Peter Teixeira on

Over the years I noticed a troubling trend; there are a great deal of commercials that fail to deliver their message to the American public. From now on, Monday will be designated to pointing out the faults of some of the most popular commercials!

I will also conduct an interview with Barack Obama; sort of!

For Tuesday’s post, I will break down the most nonsensical proverbs!

This week, the Broncos will play against the lowly Chicago Bears; there will be no need for Tebow Time because we will destroy the scrubs!

@PeteTeix617

Coming this week (22)

Posted by Peter Teixeira on

The Bagging Up series will move to Tuesday.

Tomorrow will mark a monumental revelation in the series with Joan.

I might not post daily from now on. If I miss a day, I will make up an elaborate excuse for not being able to write.

Check out a video of Shamu: Redtail Eating Sardine from hand!

Enjoy your Sunday! It’s Tebow Time!!!

@PeteTeix617

Coming this week (21)

Posted by Peter Teixeira on

I will write a post about Thanksgiving Day. It will be my 150th!

My review of Lee Strobel’s book will also be posted. Did I become a believer? (My review of Penn Jillette’s book can be read here: I Read A Book And I Liked It.)

 

Due to the fact that Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos destroyed the Jets on Thursday, tomorrow will be a boring Sunday! (Do your best to make it through the day!)

 

For those of you who have yet to view the Lee Corso video, here is a link. ENJOY!!!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hV_cOM5-Zp8

GO GATORS!!!

@PeteTeix617

 

 

This Actually Happened – November 18th, 2011

Posted by Peter Teixeira on

I wanted to write the next episode of Bagging Up, but my beloved Broncos were playing on Thursday night football, so I made the executive decision to post this instead. A new episode will be posted tomorrow!

What A Night

Every expert knows what it takes to be an NFL quarter back, and they all agree that Tim Tebow is not a good quarterback. I would agree with them, except for the fact that I know Tebow is a winner and all he does is win. The Broncos are 4-1 with Tebow at the helm and I love it! (If you’re a patsies fan, don’t thank the Broncos for beating the Jets; we will also beat your team on December 18th!)

It’s Tebow Time!!!

Why I Love Facebook

     When it comes to social media, I will add anyone. Even spam accounts. The reason is not because I have a need for friends; I just believe that I may learn something new. So far, I have a few spam followers on twitter, but my friends on Facebook are people I know. This morning, I received a friend request from a young lady. I didn’t know her, but I figured she was probably a friend of a friend and added her. Her name is Diana Oneill. (I don’t know her, so I don’t mind using the name on the profile!)I probably would have added her anyway since I have yet to deny any friend requests, but the fact that we had two mutual friends made the decision a no-brainer. Diana’s profile picture was simple and understated. I didn’t bother checking out her profile and completely forgot about her. About an hour later, I received a notice saying that I was tagged in one of Diana’s pictures. It was a simple picture, but the caption made it known that I could view naked pictures of this young lady, if I clicked on a link. I love naked women as much as the next guy, but I need my phone and I couldn’t risk clicking on a virus. Again, I completely forgot about Diana. Later on in the evening, I watched the great Tim Tebow destroy the New York Jets! (“If you ain’t a Gator, you’re Gator bait!” **I really wanted to change the wording to read “aren’t,” but it is a quote!**) After the game, I updated my Facebook status to share my feelings with the world. That’s when I found a wonderful gift. There was a notification; a man posted a comment on Diana’s picture. Here is what he wrote. (Completely unedited! Again, I don’t know the guy, so I have no problem using his real name!) Keep in mind; she was fully dressed in the picture! In fact, here is the picture.

     Larry Henry: “Hello young, I am uncertain how as to how You know me, but I would very much like if you don’t send me nude or explicit photos of you or any other females. I am an Ordained Minister who Loves TheLord and can’t imagine giving myself over to the very actions God has delivered me from. I am not perfect by any means, and I am single, but I would rather never have sex again than sin against Jesus My Lord and Savior. Im not angry with you, I’m just saying…. I know I’ve been changed. If you have any questions or comments please feel free to hit me up on fb. God bless you. LH”

It turns out that someone I know received the same friend request and he commented on the photo, as well. Unidentified Male: “‎^^ negro please”

Honestly, I was not going to say anything, but once the floodgates were opened, I had to add my two cents. Peter Teixeira: “Ha ha! This comment had me dying all night! New blog post coming tomorrow! Thanks guy!”

Is this guy a complete idiot? Does he not understand the fact that Diana does not exist and this is simply porno spam? Why would anyone write such a comment? His washed brain might look good, but I don’t think it works anymore! (At least not properly!)

I truly love Facebook! To all the wonderful people in the world, please add me as a friend and feel free to post whatever you want; I love the material! (If you would like to read about another crazy Facebook comment, click here: This Actually Happened – September 17th, 2011.)

*As of me posting this entry, Larry has yet to respond. If he decides to share anymore of his thoughts, I will definitely add his words to this posts comments.*

@PeteTeix617

A Special Letter

Posted by Peter Teixeira on

 

Dear Lord,

It’s been a while since I woke up in time to attend Sunday mass, and for that I apologize. Furthermore, I honestly can’t remember the last time I confessed to a priest. I feel it would be better for your loyal followers to confess directly to you, but I admit that I am incapable of comprehending the justification for using priests as middlemen. Since I haven’t confessed my sins in quite some time, I’ll take this opportunity to do so; I hope you don’t mind.

Let me see…sins? I can’t really think of any because I’ve been extremely obedient, but I guess if I were forced to, I could come up with a couple questionable ones. There was the one time when I heard a Jewish guy deny the fact that my brother Jesus was your son, and I didn’t speak up. I promise it will never happen again!

I guess if we were splitting hairs, one could say that another of my sins happened when I stumbled upon a shameful bachelor party. I failed to look away, completely, when the stripper disrobed. I felt a strong sense of indignity wash over me and I quickly removed myself from the premises.

You will be happy to know that other than the two instances which I just mentioned, I have always asked myself, “what would Jesus do,” before any action. (I will continue to live according to your just laws, as long as this blog’s title remains the same.)

     My reason for this letter is not to confess my sins, but to thank you. You blessed me too many times in my life for me to mention all of the instances, but I will go over some of the highlights.

Thank you for my education. There are those who may think that I worked hard and accomplished everything on my own, but I know I had nothing to do with my success. All of the glory goes to you Lord. I may have spent sleepless nights studying and working hard, but you are the one who did everything. Thanks again!

Some people may feel that I am a talented storyteller, but I am no fool. My creativity does not come from my life experiences and all of the support that I receive from my family and friends; it is you who blessed me my talents. Without you, I would be nothing. In fact, I know that you can take back your generous gifts, at any moment. I will never forget what you have done for me.

Thank you Lord. Thanks for my sense of humor. I know it may seem like I developed my personality from my father, but I know that his playfulness did not shape my traits. It is you who blessed me with my joy for laughter. You have bestowed upon me a great bounty, and I will dedicate the rest of my life to serving you. I am nothing without you!

I would also like to thank you for allowing the Pittsburgh Steelers to defeat the pitiful New England Patsies. Please continue to allow Mr. Thomas Brady to finish his career on a downward spiral. May you punish his “bunch” for centuries to come! On that note Lord, I would like to ask a question. There is no man on earth, other than myself, who cares for you more than the great Tim Tebow. Why have you not allowed him to rule over the National Football League as he dominated college football? Other than me, he praises you more than any man alive. I am hoping that you are allowing Mr. Tebow to slowly progress into the greatest quarterback of all time! I look forward to witnessing his rise, while he continues to praise you!

     I will end this letter with a request. Can you please punish all of the fake Christians who are obviously closet-pagans? They speak about how much they love you, but there they are, wearing costumes and celebrating the devil’s holiday. Halloween should be banned from the United States of America, but we have yet to elect a true Christian President. Please send these devil worshippers to Hell, so they can celebrate with their true master!

Many of your so called followers attempt to praise you by proclaiming, “God is good,” but I do not agree with their misleading declaration. I know you are much better than good; you are great!

     Sincerely,

Your loyal subject, Peter

P.S. Tell Kevin that Notre Dame SUCKS!!!

 

For those of you, who wish to donate money in order to help me spread the Lord’s word, please e-mail me and we’ll work out the details!

@PeteTeix617