From Catholicism To Atheism

I sat down in front of my computer and wrote pages of information about my conversion from Christianity to Atheism. I wrote paragraphs upon paragraphs, and every one fell short of the objective. Each paragraph failed to convey my true feelings. After awhile, I realized the problem. I can’t explain the process of being enlightened; it’s simply impossible. Either a person reaches the level of awakening that I have achieved, or not. Who am I to convert the ignorant?

I spent over fifteen years removing the beliefs of Catholicism from my mind. How can I express the process of becoming awakened to a person who is asleep? IMPOSSIBLE! If anyone has a desire to hear the story of my conversion, ask me and we can converse in person. Even then, I feel a believer cannot completely understand what it means to be an atheist.

An atheist is defined as a person who doesn’t believe in  “god,” but it is far more than that. A true atheist must understand why “god” cannot exist; there is no belief. We simply know! The same way Galileo knew the earth revolved around the sun, an atheist knows “god” exists only in myth. Thankfully, I do not live in a time when the church has any true power.

I often read stories about atheists who convert back to some sort of belief system, but that is an impossibility. The ones who make these false claims never reached the true understanding of atheism. Unfortunately for those who are non-believers, atheism cannot be explained. The information is readily available, it is up to each individual to discover the truth!

If you honestly believe in your faith and you have a desire to save me, please allow me to go to Hell. I don’t mind! I can be an atheist without you agreeing with me, why can’t you be a believer without me agreeing with you?

I live in a world of believers, and my knowledge is challenged on a daily basis. Some people may find my posts to be offensive, but I am offended when people are afraid to challenge their faith. I know that I call believers idiots, but what am I supposed to make of someone who doesn’t even understand his or her own faith. (If you’ve never read the bible from cover to cover, please shut the fuck up about your faith. How can someone believe in a religion and not read the most important text?)

A clear example of this is the so-called Catholic who believes in abortion. I must have missed the part of Catholicism which allowed for followers to question the Pope. The basis of the religion is the fact that the Conclave members are guided by “god” when choosing a new Pontiff; and the lord speaks through the new leader. I don’t care what your beliefs are concerning abortion but if you are Catholic, Pope Benny tells you what to believe; there is no free will. (If you ever tell me that you are a Catholic but you are pro-choice, YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT!!!)

Please do me a favor. Study your faith, then we can have an intelligent conversation about belief!

It’s hilarious when one of the hungry-hungry hippo-crites discovers I’m an atheist and attempts to chastise me.

“How can you not believe in ‘god’?” Simple! He doesn’t exist!

Now can you answer one of my questions?

“Sir, how can you challenge my morals when you practice pre-marital sex and have children out of wedlock?”

“And I guess you’re right ma’am, I’m evil, but how can you walk up the isle and eat the body of Christ, hung-over with semen and vodka fresh on your breath?”

“Only god can judge you.” No! I’ll have something to say about how you live!

Judge me and I’ll judge you back!!!


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Where Are All The Dead People

“Well, although I do not suppose that either of us knows anything really beautiful and good, I am better off than he is—for he knows nothing, and thinks that he knows. I neither know nor think that I know.” – Socrates, from Plato’s ‘Apology.’

[No, the quote cannot be applied to the belief in “god.” I know he doesn’t exist!]

Death is a taboo and frightening topic. In the past, I was terrified of dying but once I came to grips with the fact that death is out of my control, it became easy to deal with my own inevitable expiration. No one truly knows whether, or not, there is life after death; we are free to believe as we please. One of the most interesting classes I have ever taken was ‘The Anthropology of Death’ with UMass Boston Professor Alan Waters. Studying the different ways cultures handle death, gave me a new perspective on the subject; I no longer fear death. (I’m actually looking forward to discovering what happens. *No, I’m not suicidal!*)

To me, the funeral practices of Christians borders on the ridiculous. (Yeah, I said it.) I don’t understand how people can spend their entire lives believing in “god” and heaven, but as soon as someone dies, it’s the worst thing that ever happened. Reason would dictate that death should be celebrated; the family member is in a better place, RIGHT? They definitely got it right in New Orleans. *I recommend that you, yes you, look up the different ways death is handled throughout the world…AMAZING!*

I don’t want to seem insensitive, but I can only voice my true opinions. (Anyone who knows me understands that I will give my honest opinion, regardless of feelings. I know there are those who think I am a jerk, but I’d rather be an asshole then fake, any day of the week. **I never care about hiding my opinions, which will be evident during next week’s ultra-controversial post.**) I tend to leave emotion out of most circumstances, it serves no purpose other than to cloud judgment. (Unless I’m drunk, but that’s a different story.) I can understand how losing a close relative can be devastating, and life changing, but it is a natural part of life. Obviously, the emotion of the actual funeral is too strong to be denied, and I have even broken down in the past, but I can’t see myself crying on any other day. Spending days, months, or even years, weeping over someone seems nonsensical. If you honestly think about it, people are either, in a better place, or they no longer exist. Wakes should be parties in which family and friends get together and celebrate the memory of the deceased persons’ life. When I die, I want family and friends to throw a party and play nothing but Cash Money Records. If there is no life after death, I won’t be able to witness the bereavement process, and if there is, I will haunt anyone who doesn’t at least listen to one CMR track. Oh yeah…No Mass please; that would just be offensive!!!

I admit that my way of thinking may be the result of me being heartless but I might just be right, and maybe those who oppose my views, do so because they lack reason…you never know! I just can’t see the point of missing someone, dead or alive; people need to learn how to just move on. With my late cousin Kevin, there are times when I am watching Sports Center and I’ll reach for the phone after seeing that Notre Dame suffered a loss in football. That’s not missing someone, it’s simply something that is routine. Like most beliefs, people refuse to change because that’s what they’ve always done. (I understand that some people who have lost loved ones may have a problem with my way of thinking, but I will not change my beliefs to avoid being offensive. In fact, I am offended that people allow emotion to block their ability to use reason. I guess the fact that I am an atheist and my background in History causes me to see the world from a unique perspective. ***Again, this will be evident during next week’s controversial post!***)

Losing a loved one can be a difficult situation to deal with, but everyone has to go through it at some point in their lives. The afterlife differs by culture but, for the most part, people agree that there is some form of an existence after death. I guess these beliefs continue because no one wants to think that they will cease to exist. It is comforting to think that our ancestors are watching over us from some unknown realm, but the more I think about it, the less I am inclined to believe in an afterlife. (Plus, isn’t the thought of ancestors watching over you all the time a little weird. If you say “No,” think about your dead loved ones watching over you the next time you are having sex…that’s creepy. Same thing goes for “god.” He is supposed to be omnipresent, right? To me, that’s perverted; “god” is nothing more than history’s biggest peeping-Tom!)

I previously wrote about my belief in spirits, but I can now understand that the mind is capable of altering our perception of reality; we see and hear exactly what we want to witness. This is not a topic that I am completely certain of because, although I understand that logically there can be no afterlife, part of me still wants to believe that one exists. (I can just picture meeting up with Kevin and boasting about the many accomplishments of former Gator’s quarterback Tim Tebow.)

The more I understand that my previous belief in the afterlife was based on the fear instilled in me by the teachings of the Catholic Church, the more I recognize my beliefs were false and founded on the weakest foundation.  The concept of an afterlife is ingrained in people through religious, and cultural beliefs. The fear of death, causes one to believe in an alternative in which he or she is able to continue living. Mortality is real, and immortality cannot exist; it is unnatural. Generally, most people who believe in life after death do not believe that insects, or plants, share the same fate as humans. I’ve never heard anyone say, after stepping on a spider, “May your spirit be rejoined with your ancestors.” ***That would be ridiculous, right?*** I find it amazing how culture can turn the absurd into fact. Can you just imagine a world without religion? We would all be forced to question conventional thought, instead of simply believing what is told. [I apologize in advance for this tangent, but I’ve always wondered about something. Religious belief usually is passed down from parents. Does anyone ever imagine how their lives would be different if the people who conquered the land which you originate from, belonged to a faith other than yours? I am Cape Verdean, which means that my family is Catholic because the Portuguese colonized the Islands. What would life be like if the Muslim armies were able to conquer CV. Isn’t it amazing that people believe so strongly in a faith that they didn’t even choose? I would be more inclined to respect the faith of someone who studied different religions, before "believing." There is another question which has always fascinated me. How does a woman, strong and independent, agree to believe in a faith which views her as a second class citizen? Funny, the things people learn once they begin to ask questions! Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” I will borrow from him and say, the unexamined faith, is not worth believing!]

The brain is a powerful organ which has yet to be fully understood. If our belief in something is strong enough, we can convince ourselves that it is true. The mind will actually create “hallucinations” to validate our desires. People see ghosts and experience unexplainable occurrences, but I believe they are just a figment of the imagination. People will pray for some result, and when the prayer is answered their belief in “god” is strengthened. As far as prayer is concerned, I think there are many instances in which people pray and get zero results; they seem to forget those prayers, or they explain them away with ridiculous claims such as, “it’s not ‘god’s’ will.” I think that anyone who believes in "god" will actually be affected by that belief; it has the ability to change their lives, but that doesn't mean he actually exists. The mind is great!


     When I studied Haitian Vodun (voodoo), I learned that the people of the culture are truly affected by the practice. It works because Haitians believe in Vodun, and scientists cannot explain the phenomena. Victims will go into trances and can be controlled by others; it's basically a form of hypnosis. All of these unexplainable cases have to do with the mind not "god." When humans reach a point that we have a better understanding of how the mind works, "god" will no longer exist; there will be no fear of the unknown.


     I have had many occasions in which I blackout after drinking too much. People tell me all of the things that I did, and at the time they were under the impression that I was coherent, but I clearly wasn't. I think there has to be some correlation between belief and mind stimulation; people can trigger the part of the brain that alters perception. This is evident in the cases of stigmata, which happens to people who are ultra religious. They believe in Jesus with so much conviction that they experience what they want. The brain's power over the body is far greater than we can comprehend. A hundred years from now, humans will have a better understanding of how the brain works.

Sometimes people can hear and see things that are not there. I know that those of us who come to rely on our cell phones, tend to hear the phone ringing whenever we leave the room. Or we hear the ringer, even with the phone at our side; it has to do the fact that people judge their level of importance, by the number of calls they receive. I can remember being a child and often hearing my mother yelling my name, when I knew she was at work. There are also the occasions in which I think I see something but, when I look again, it disappears. It is easy to misconstrue these instances as proof of a spiritual existence, but the fact remains that they are simply the result of the mind creating exactly what an individual wants to experience.

I hope dead people continue living in another capacity, but I honestly doubt it!


My Proposal To Save Marriage

I grew up in a time when weddings were arguably the most important event in a person’s life. Meeting that special someone to spend the rest of your life with was the ultimate goal. The excitement that followed an engagement was only rivaled by the excitement of one’s parents planning a trip to Disney World. (Unless you went a dozen or so times. Yeah, I was spoiled!) NOT inviting someone to a wedding could create a feud only surpassed by the Hatfield’s and the McCoy’s. TIMES HAVE CHANGED! Today, people select life-partners, as if they are choosing fruit — if it turns out to be a bad one, who cares? They’ll get another one tomorrow.

**Word of advice to any man or woman who is planning on getting married. If you are looking forward to sleeping with or engaging in any sexual activity with one or more strippers, prior to the wedding day – YOU’RE NOT READY TO GET MARRIED!!! In addition, if you plan on sleeping with anyone who is not a stripper prior to or after the wedding day, see capitalized text above!**

I’m a believer in the fact that weddings and funerals continue to be the greatest events. Obviously weddings are more joyous than funerals, but I enjoy both, simply because each brings family and friends together in one place to support one another. (I’ll write about death soon!)

Recently, I attended two weddings and I had a fantastic time at each. More importantly I feel the true love, which was evident, helped to demonstrate that marriages remain essential to a sophisticated society. Not only is the wedding day splendid but the anticipation, leading up to the date, is exhilarating. Although I enjoy weddings, I must say there is one aspect of marriage which truly upsets me. THE DIVORCE! (This entry has been something that I’ve thought about for years.) It truly bothers me when couples break the vow of marriage, especially when they do so, QUIETLY.

People (religious couples) stand in front of their chosen deity and vow to stay together forever. Family and friends stand as witnesses to the new union. The emotional moment brings many people to tears. (Not me! There was clearly something in my eyes.) The ceremony is beautiful, the reception is beautiful, the honeymoon is…well I’ve never been but, I can imagine. Actually I don’t have to imagine. Check out, GOOD TIMES! At any rate, the entire wedding experience is what little girls all over the world are dreaming about as you read. Everyone gets eager to see the new couple when they return from their trip to some exotic location. Everything is wonderful.

AND THEN…something goes horribly wrong. A philandering husband, a loose wife, an overly-friendly neighbor, an addiction to porn, a jealous sibling, a forgotten love, a whorish ex, the mailman, etc. Whatever the case may be, the sense of disappointment reverberates through the extended family. In America today, more than half of all marriages end in Divorce, but we never expect it to be the people we know and love. “Not those two; they were made for each other,” we all assume. (Obviously there are some exceptions. We’ve all had that one experience where everyone is thinking, what the hell are these two thinking!)

Divorce always affects me negatively. I don’t know what it is, but I guess there is a part of me that believes in true love. (Yeah I know, SHOCKING!) Sometimes, a couple will  get a divorce without people even knowing.  I know I just found out about one recently. (Always sucks to hear, although I am never shocked.) I’ll never forget where I was when I heard of Tiger Woods’ transgressions. That may have been the divorce that ruined marriage for me. (I was in my bedroom, typing something fantastic, with the television on, if you must know.) Too many people are getting hitched just for the sake of it. Somehow, marriage has lost its significance.

Fortunately, I have the solution to the divorce problem! **The Divorce Party**

That’s right people, I propose something that will prevent couples from jumping into a marriage before they are prepared. We (wedding guests) deserve to witness the divorce. And we deserve to witness it in the same manner – the same Pomp and Stance! What do I mean by “Divorce Party?” Well, I’ll tell you. (After reading this, please send letters to your elected officials to ensure that a law is enacted.)

***Before I divulge the intricacies of the Divorce Party, let me point out that the porn site mentioned above does not exist. I repeat. The porn site above does not exist; I just made it up, PERVERTS! Half of you have already found that out and half were waiting to check it out after they finish this entry. Nonetheless, I’m sure those of you who haven’t, will still attempt the IP address later.***

A Divorce Party, MUST be mandatory. Meaning, no divorce can be finalized unless a government witness, who is to be paid by the couple, is in attendance.

Divorce Party Details:

  1. The person (priest, minister, etc.) who officiated the marriage must be present at the divorce Party. If that person is deceased, a replacement Official of equal importance must be present.
  2. The same location, or one which is comparable must be selected.
  3. A photographer must be hired. If a videographer was hired to film the wedding, you guessed it — one must be hired for the divorce. (Copies of the film MUST be made readily available to anyone who desires one.)
  4. The Divorce Party is a two part event, just as most marriages are.
  5. If a couple is married in a church, the divorce party’s first act must also occur in a church. There must also be a Divorce Mass, if there was one for the wedding. Conversely, if the wedding was not held in a church, then a similar location must be chosen.
  6. Every person who was invited to the wedding must be invited to the Divorce, and the invitations are to be sent out in a timely manner. Furthermore, the invitations are to be sent out with the same grandiose as the ones for the wedding.
  7. Groomsmen and Bridesmaids are to be selected. If an individual who served during the wedding is unavailable, he or she must be replaced. (The suits and dresses are to be paid for by the divorcing couple, and limousines are to be provided for transportation)
  8. For the first act of the event, the couple must sit before the witnesses, and answer any and all questions that will be asked by the Wedding Official. (priest minister, etc) The guests will not be permitted to ask any questions. This will be the Officials time, but guests CAN challenge the truthfulness of any answer. Snickering by the audience is not only allowed, but encouraged. Also, the yelling out of asinine comments, may be frowned upon but, WILL be allowed.
  9. When the Wedding Official is satisfied with the answers given, he or she will allow the divorce proceedings to continue.
  10. At the end of the first ceremony, the couple must walk down the isle side-by-side, detached, with arms folded.
  11. The divorcing couple must ride together in the same car; they are free to select any vehicle. The Bridal Party will ride to the Divorce Reception in the limousines provided.
  12. The main event must be held in a hall of equal or greater elegance as the wedding hall.
  13. The Bridal Party must get together at a chosen location and take photos.
  14. Hors d’œuvres must be served for the guests while they await the arrival of the Bridal Party.

*******MY FAVORITE RULE*******

  1. THE DIVORCE RECEPTION MUST BE OPEN-BAR! (Paid for by the couple, and we’re definitely talking about open-bar all night! And none of that garbage about, “you can only have this or that.” COMPLETELY OPEN-BAR!) To further illustrate my point, the bar must be more open than the vagina of…{This is the portion of the blog where the reader gets to be involved!!! Insert name of someone you know, who has a vagina which is always open for business. Have fun with this; it’s not an assignment. Feel free to add that name in the comment section, tweet it, post it on facebook, or you can text it to your best friend!}
  2. The Bridal Party must be individually announced when they enter the reception hall.
  3. The seating arrangements are specific. The guests are to be seated in the same manner as a typical wedding reception. The members of the Bridal Party are to be seated in the middle of the room facing the elevated main table, which will seat the divorcing couple. (It is essential for the “Divorce Table to be elevated, so all guests can have an unobstructed view of the divorcing couple.”)
  4. There is to be an MC, who will be responsible for all announcements.
  5. A live band or DJ must also be hired.
  6. Each member of the Bridal Party will have the opportunity to either give a speech, or ask questions of the divorcing couple. (They are to answer any and every question honestly. Anyone in attendance will be allowed to challenge the validity of the answers.) The divorcing couple must present members of the Bridal Party with an appropriate gift, after each person speaks.
  7. It will then be the open-mic segment of the evening. This is when the lavish dinner MUST be served. Any and all guests will be allowed the opportunity to ask a question, or give a speech. The MC must ensure that each guest who has a question for the divorcing couple is heard.
  8. Once all questions are answered, and the government witness is satisfied, the dancing can commence. (The guests of honor are not allowed to refuse any dance requests.)
  9. The divorcing couple will not be permitted to leave the reception until all of the guests depart.

If someone has the desire to be promiscuous and free, I have no problem with it. Live your life as you please! Just don’t put on a charade in front of family and friends, by getting married. Let matrimony be for the people who are truly in love – stay single and do your thing. It is my sincere hope that, by implementing my Divorce Party idea, people will think twice before rushing into a marriage for the wrong reasons!!!