I Knew It, from August 17th, 2011!
You Can Keep Your Legacy, from August 19th, 2011!
My Proposal To Save Marriage, from July 1st, 2011!
Timothy graduated from Harvard Law School at the top of his class. As expected, every major firm in the country offered him a position. The decision was simple for Tim; “wherever Lucy wants to live is fine with me.” He said. Lucy was Tim’s high school sweetheart and he loved her more than anything; as long as his fiancé was happy, nothing else mattered.
The couple eventually married and Tim became a partner in his Chicago firm. Everything was going well, except for one major problem. Tim wanted children but Lucy wasn’t ready; she wanted to focus on running her salon before venturing into motherhood.
Although the two loved one another unconditionally, the subject of parenthood caused a great deal of tension in the household. In fact, Tim and Lucy argued every single night, before finally slamming doors and sleeping in separate rooms.
After three months of passionless nights, Tim realized something had to be done. His proposal was a night out on the town. He hoped to reignite the fire in their marriage and forget about their problems for at least one night.
Tim pulled out all the stops; reservations at the best restaurant in the windy city, a limo ride to their destination, a night of dancing, and a stay in a luxurious suite.
The night started off well but the romance quickly faded, during dinner. Things took a turn for the worse when an eleven year-old walked past the table, on his way to the little boy’s room. Tim gave the child a high-five, which caused Lucy to assume her husband was attempting to drop a hint.
Try as he did, Tim was unable to avoid an argument. The hot-blooded conversation even caused the manager to ask the couple to control themselves. Tim thought the night was a complete loss, since they sat in complete silence while waiting for the waiter to bring the check.
Suddenly, Lucy placed her hand on top of Tim’s hand and smiled at him. “I’m sorry for all the drama; let’s try to enjoy the remainder of the night.” She uttered.
Tim was completely shocked. “I think that’s a great idea.”
Lucy’s change of heart came when she noticed an elderly gentleman, spoon-feeding a piece of chocolate cake to his lovely wife. “Look at those two; I wonder what their secret is.” She said.
Tim turned and admired the amorous couple. “That will be us one day.” He said.
Lucy’s heart melted. “I love you. I don’t want to waste another second arguing. Let’s start a family.” She said.
Tim couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I love you.” He said as a tear rolled down his cheek.
Lucy also began to release her own tears of joy. The couple often spoke about the importance of family. That night, Lucy finally realized that she no longer wanted to put her career ahead of her family. “You’re going to be the best dad, ever!” She said.
Tim smiled. “And you will be the world’s greatest mom!” He responded.
Tim apologized to the waiter for their previous behavior. “We would also like to pay for the elderly couple’s check.” Tim said.
“I’ll let Good old Jack know that you covered his meal.” The waiter replied.
The waiter walked across the room and revealed Tim’s generous gesture to the couple. They were surprised and touched. Before exiting, Jack and his lady, Kathy, walked over to express their appreciation.
The two couples chatted while they walked towards the restaurant’s back door. Tim and Lucy watched as Jack opened up the passenger side door for Kathy and gently closed it after she entered.
“Hey Jack, how long have you been married?” Tim asked.
“Fifty-eight wonderful years!” Jack answered.
“Still a gentleman after all the years!” Tim said.
“What’s your secret? How do you stay happily married after so many years?” Tim asked.
Jack walked over to Tim and his wife. He leaned in and whispered. “It’s pretty simple. I leave the old ball and chain at home whenever I get the hankering for some sweet widow pussy!” Jack proudly stated before winking!
Antitheft, from August 3rd!
Is Pimping Wrong, from October 11th!
What Does That Even Mean, from December 13th!
This post is appropriate since I reached another step on my path to the dark side! (I’ll write about it this week!)
This Actually Happened – October 15th, from take a wild guess!
These Things Happen from September 13th.
Today is June 28th; day number three hundred and sixty five since I started this blog. I don’t know about you, but I think that’s a pretty decent accomplishment. I didn’t blog every day, but that was never a goal; this is post number 346. (Not too shabby!)
Thanks to all the people who continue to take a few minutes out of their day in order to read my words of wisdumb!
That being said, I’m a little embarrassed to admit that my blog is a year old and hasn’t learned how to walk yet. I honestly don’t know what I can do; I guess the blog is naturally lazy and I have to accept that fact. Who knows? Maybe it will never walk. When I think about it, the blog may not have walked but it did fly from Boston to Los Angeles. (I don’t know how many miles that is, but I’m pretty sure the blog out-flew the Wright Brothers by at least a quarter mile to a mile and a half!)
It was another beautiful day in Southern California. In fact, it’s been about two months since the last time it rained. I was told that it barely rains in Los Angeles during the summer, but that seems implausible; I didn’t believe it. Thankfully, I think it’s true!
***This post is just my way of saying thank you to the wonderful people who follow my blog. THANKS!***
Remember that every individual is in control of his or her respective lives. Nothing happens for a reason. That is one of the dumbest sayings ever! Everyone knows that “everything happens for a reason” is a cop-out. You can’t blame fate or the will of some higher power for the negative occurrences in your life, or else, me calling you a dumbass will happen for a reason!
There is also no such thing as karma. It is complete nonsense for anyone to try and keep score of the positive and negative events in his or her life. How the hell do you assign a value to specific each event? If you were asked to help a friend move and you decided to lie about having to work, you can’t blame karma for getting into a car accident a month later. First of all, a month is filled with ups and downs; am I supposed to accept the fact that none of those events are factored into your karma scoring system?
Furthermore, how is lying to a friend about having to work the same as getting into a car accident. Karma is one of those dumb things that people simply accept, blindly. Like faith, and every other nonsensical ways of thinking, once the logic test is applied it is easy to realize how one dumb human can influence future generations! (Are we to blame the Indians for inventing karma, or are we to blame the British East India Company for sharing the Buddhist way of thinking with the rest of the world!)
I find it funny that people often say, “everything happens for a reason,” but they can never figure out the mystical reason! From this day forth, I want to know the reason, or I will start calling out the dumbasses!
***THANKS AGAIN FOR READING***