It’s The Law

When it comes to driving, the only thing I hate more than people who can’t drive is the seatbelt law.

     I don’t believe the government has a right to decide whether or not a woman can have an abortion, but they definitely cross the line when they try and tell me that I have to wear a seatbelt. (Is it offensive to compare the seatbelt law to abortion?)

I finally have a license plate, so I have less anxiety when I see a police cruiser; I no longer have to worry about being pulled over. That being said, this seatbelt law has me on a constant lookout for police officers; I really don’t want to get a ticket for something as arbitrary as not wearing my seatbelt. (The way I see it, Jesus never wore a seatbelt so why should I?)

I honestly don’t understand how politicians refer to America as a free country, but I can’t drive down the street without having to keep my head on a swivel in order to avoid Johnnie Law and his evil book of pain. (Am I the only one who considers this law to be a mild form of communism?) I get it, people believe wearing seatbelts will save lives; I just don’t care. I don’t like wearing seatbelts, I never liked wearing seatbelts, and I will never wear seatbelts. (Unless I feel my wallet is at risk!)

There are some instances in which seatbelts may prevent you from escaping a car wreck and I don’t want to take that risk! “In some cases, wearing a seat belt could cause further injury during specific types of collisions.” *This quote was taken from* (The picture below was also taken from the site!)

     First of all, I lean my seat back too far for the seatbelt to work properly so I’d probably die in an accident. I already survived a near fatal accident without wearing a seatbelt and I will continue to “live on the edge.” It is perfectly legal for me to smoke a carton of cigarettes while drinking a gallon of whiskey until I am in a coma, but I can’t drive to a block without wearing my “safety belt.” (I love living in a free country!)

I think my biggest complaint about wearing seatbelts is the fact that they wrinkle my shirts. I take the time to iron my shirts and I prefer for them to remain wrinkle free for at least a few hours. It should be illegal for people to walk around with wrinkled shirts! (I’m kidding but I wouldn’t be surprised if “BIG GOVERNMENT” enacts a new wrinkle-free law!)

I also don’t like the fact that seatbelts are constricting. I haven’t been diagnosed, but I’m pretty sure I am claustrophobic. Me no like confined spaces! Plus, wearing seatbelts is eerily to having a noose around one’s neck. I would rather not be reminded of slavery every single time that I enter a vehicle. (Call me crazy!)

People may find it weird that I had no problem breaking a hundred, yesterday, but I almost crapped my pants when a police officer pulled up behind me for a couple miles; I anticipated the siren and lights going off, but thankfully there was a compassionate human being inside of the patrol car and not some asshole with an ax to grind. (I thought about pulling over and acting like I arrived at my destination, but I fought the urge and my wallet remained intact!)

Obviously we need laws to help govern the roads, but forcing motorists to wear seatbelts is a bit much. I understand the drunk driving thing, because other people are at risk, but what I do in my car to increase comfort-ability is my business. (Fine, I won’t use my cell phone, but I’m not backing down on this seatbelt matter!)

I definitely need to get some tinted windows so I can ride without a seatbelt without alerting the officials of my “criminal” behavior. Seriously, what’s next; a suicide fine? Will family members of those people who decided to pull a Seau be forced to pay an exorbitant amount of money as restitution for breaking the law? (Officer friendly is starting to piss me off!)

***For the record, I do not plan on wearing a seatbelt so if I die in a car accident, don’t blame it on my “outlaw” ways; the seatbelt would not have saved my life. If anything, the accident will be a suicide, committed in order to force my family to pay the new suicide fine! (If I have to go, I might as well piss some people off!)***

Why do they call it a seatbelt anyway? The damn thing goes around your shoulder: it should be called a shoulder belt or “annoying shirt wrinkling apparatus!”


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We Already Knew That

Apparently, the people at WikiLeaks uncovered sensitive e-mails which prove that Osama Bin Laden was never actually buried at sea. It appears that the United States government flew the body back to an America military mortuary.

Click on the link to read the story. Bin Laden Burial

I added this pic because I thought it was cool!

     I don’t understand why government leaders feel the need to create outlandish stories in order to cover-up the truth. This day in age, technology makes such attempts to lie to the public almost impossible. The only thing the government had to say was, “due to security reasons, we will not reveal the location of Bin Laden’s final resting place.”

I understand the need to keep certain details away from the public, but it is time for our elected officials to give the citizens of the world some credit; we are not idiots. I have no idea where Bin Laden’s body is, but I would have bet my life that he was not buried at sea. The entire incident was ridiculous.

Hopefully, the next time the military kills a “terrorist,” they will handle the burial in a more professional manner. After all, who cares if Bin Laden’s supporters want to turn his grave site into a tourist attraction? The way I see it, if these “enemies of freedom” want to waste time traveling to pay homage to Osama Bin Laden, the less time they have to plan out attacks. Plus, we can have people watching the site to keep tabs on who is visiting.

To Barack Obama:

I thought you were better than that ridiculous burial at sea story.