Tag Archives: ghosts

Paranormal Incident

Posted by Peter Teixeira on

When it comes to paranormal activity I am as skeptical as the next cynic, but I may be experiencing my first encounter.

In retrospect, I don’t know why we didn’t take a picture of the water.

Here is the story:

Yesterday, we decided to go to the movies to watch 21 Jump Street. (A hilarious movie, if anyone was wondering!) @EFidalgo12 walked into the apartment first then I followed. I felt as if I stepped in something wet, so I figured he must have spilled a drink while rushing to answer nature’s call. I walked around what I thought was a small spill and turned on the television. When I looked towards the wet spot, I was shocked to see our very own lake. (In order to avoid any confusion with the Great Lakes, I will name our body of water Lake Inferior!)

We were horrified because the last thing we wanted to deal with is a plumbing issue. After investigating the area, we discovered a major problem; there was absolutely no source for the water. The apartment was empty and locked, neither the bathroom sink nor the kitchen sink sprung a leak, and there wasn’t any leaks falling from the ceiling. We had a large pool of water, enough to fill a 20 ounce bottle, but it was located in the middle of the room. (There was only one logical explanation!)

Clearly, the water was coming from a small hole in the tiled floor. We grabbed a towel and quickly dried up Lake Inferior. Unfortunately for us, there was no hole. Either the water was the result of paranormal activity, or our landlord entered our apartment and spilled the water on the floor and ran out unnoticed. (We may never uncover the truth!)

Hunger set in and we decided to go for some takeout. For some reason, we wanted Chinese food. I must admit that Boston has the best Chinese food in the world and finding something decent in Los Angeles has been a challenge. The only place which even comes close is Panda Express, but we wanted to find a new location. Most of the establishments that we found so far do not offer combination plates. (Can you believe that? A Chinese restaurant without combination plates is like Cuba without cigars; it just doesn’t make sense!)

About a month ago, we drove by a restaurant which was a clear rip-off of Panda Express. I don’t remember the name, but it was something like Golden Express and the logo was an almost exact copy of the Panda Express logo. We decided to give the place a try and it turned out to be a great decision. Not only did they have combination plates, but the lady packed our plates with too much food and the price was reasonable. The best news is the food was absolutely delicious. (It is safe to say that we found a new Chinese spot!)

Before leaving for the restaurant, we decided to set up my laptop camera in order to record any suspicious activity. We were gone for about 20 minutes or so, but there was nothing to report. I don’t know if anyone had the pleasure of watching a video of an empty room, but we pretty much fast forwarded through the footage. Who knows, maybe one day one of us will be bored and we can sit through and watch the entire tape.

The mystery remains unsolved. Personally, I’m sticking with the landlord story. Hopefully, we will find out the truth soon. For now, the case is open!

Tomorrow, if I walk into the apartment after work and find the same pool of water, the search for the truth will intensify!

It’s time to get some sleep. (Ghosts don’t rape people during the night, right?)

@PeteTeix617

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A Conversation With Kevin

Posted by Peter Teixeira on

*This is an actual account of events that happened last night. This post was written and saved into my drafts. I experienced every detail during a blackout episode. (No, I wasn’t drinking, ASSHOLE!) When I came to, the post was finished but for some reason, I can add to the piece only; I can’t make any editorial changes. (I definitely wanted to make some edits!) CRAZIEST EXPERIENCE EVER!!!

[I am in my room, I’m not alone.]

Female Companion: “It’s ok…that happens to most guys!”

Me: “I swear this never happens!”

Female Companion: “Ok, I guess I’m going to takeoff now. Are you about to go to sleep?”

Me: “No! I’ll probably watch the Gators game.”

Female Companion: “I didn’t know they played this late.”

Me: “They don’t, I have the game recorded on my DVR.”

Female Companion: “Damn, I guess you really are a fan.”

Me: “Yeah, text me when you get home.”

Female Companion: “OK, I will.”

[I get dressed, walk her out, then return to my room and sit on the couch. She goes off to some other guy’s house!]

I turn on the television and watch the Gators dominate! (I honestly record most of the Gators’ games on my DVR and watch them whenever I am bored! GO GATORS!) The Gators are leading by a score of 28-0. Starting quarterback John Brantley is marching the offense towards another touchdown when, suddenly, the DirecTV box shuts-off and I am left to watch a blank screen.

Me: “No fucking way! It’s not even raining. If this box starts malfunctioning like the Comcast box, I’m going to…”

[The light begins to turn on and off. It’s as if someone is deliberately playing with the switch, but I am alone.]

Me: “What the hell is going on?”

[I hear a familiar laughter from my past.]

Me: [Scared out of my mind.] “Is that really you?”

Voice: “Yes, it’s me, Fanta.”

Me: “Is this real…what the heck are YOU doing here?”

Voice: “I’m just playing, it’s me!” [Kevin appears. He is laughing hysterically! For some reason, even though he is a ghost, I don’t feel any sense of fear!]

Me: [Laughing] “Dude, you’re an idiot!” [I fold my arms and stare him in the eyes.] “Really? This is how you’re going to show up?”

Kevin: [Standing before me in a speedo.] “What? I’ve been working out.”

Me: “C’mon man, get the fuck out of here with that shit!”

Kevin: [Laughs and switches to more presentable clothing.] “Damn, still in love! You have to let her go man!” [Laughs]

Me: “Yo, you’re dead! When are you going to let that Fanta story go?”

Kevin: “Never!”

Me: [Shaking my head.] “Some people never grow up! This is weird. Were you here the whole night? Were you spying on me while I was smashing? That’s creepy! ”

Kevin: “NO! I just got here. You didn’t think I was going to let that Gators’ game play? Florida’s wack.”

Me: “Notre Dame FUCKING SUCKS! You sure you aren’t a dead peeping Tom? I can swear I heard some creep whisper, ‘give her a stroke for me.’”

Kevin: “Your dumb. Who was that…your girl?”

Me: “Na man.”

Kevin: “It’s cool, you can claim her. Who lives here now?”

Me: “Me, Dough, and G. D-I-X is done. This is where the magic happens!”

Kevin: “Yeah right. What’s good with you and your wifey who just left?”

Me: “No wifey. I’m just chilling right now. No time for a girl—I’m on my paper chase. Plus, we’re off to LA in January.”

Kevin: “Who?”

Me: “I’m going with E and cousin C.”

Kevin: [Laughs…he can barely control himself.] “Cousin C! What’s good with him?”

Me: “He’s chillin’. Just working and getting ready to make this move.”

Kevin: “The three of you guys? Talk about no buns!”

Me: “Yeah aight!”

Kevin: “That’s good J’s around. LA huh? That’s ill. Hold on a second.” [He looks around the bedroom.] “Where is the condom wrapper?”

Me: “Yeah, where did that thing go?”

Kevin: “Raw-dawg! You’re trying to have a baby?”

Me: “Hell NO! And I’m definitely not taking any shit from the raw-dawg king.”

Kevin: “That’s an allegation…I always strapped up.”

Me: “Yeah, me too! But for real, I try not to use condoms for two reasons. One, the Pope is against the use of condoms and, two, I love the environment and I know how much damage can be caused by latex!”

Kevin: “You’re dumb. Anyone slip up and have kids?”

Me: “Slip up? You’re an asshole. Children are wonderful and the parents should feel lucky to bring them into this world.”

Kevin: “My fault.” [We laugh.]

Me: Yeah, there are a bunch of kids out here. Go haunt someone else and find out. From the male cousins it’s only Zep, Dough, and D; D is the only one with a boy!”

Kevin: “Yeah? Dudes don’t wanna strap up. Huh? Zep and Dough have girls…I hope they got the shotgun ready?”

Me: “I hope so. You know we don’t take care of your kids, right?”

Kevin: [Laughs] “Allegations, allegations!”

Me: “What’s good with death? Do you get to mash out a bunch of smuts?”

Kevin: “Nah, this body isn’t real. When we come back to earth we can appear as our old selves, but we don’t exist in the physical form.”

Me: “So you’re just a mind floating around?”

Kevin: “Yeah, basically.”

Me: “Is there a heaven and hell with god and the devil?”

Kevin: “Yeah. God was going to send me to hell, but I convinced him to let me go to heaven. He said I need someone to vouch for me so, for now, I have to stay in purgatory. Then when Nel dies, I can get him to hook me up!”

Me: [Laugh] “Are you fucking with me?”

Kevin: “For real. We sat there and reviewed my life. I had to explain everything.”

Me: “So how did you come here, if you’re waiting for Nel?”

Kevin: “Na, I’m just joking. There is no heaven of hell—no god or devil.”

Me: [Laugh] “Damn, I was about to go tell Nel to hurry up cause you’re waiting on him. So what happens when you die? I know you can’t help out ND, cause they suck ass!”

Kevin: “Yeah, I thought god would help ND win. If I knew there was no god, I would’ve picked a different team!”

Me: [Banging my index finger against my palm.] “You see this…see the stars? 25 all-Americans!” [He Laughs] “What really happens?”

Kevin: “Once you die, your spirit leaves your body, but no one runs the afterlife. Everyone is free, but we have no bodies. The people who have been around the longest are always around to help out with info, but no one knows everything. There are almost an infinite number of planets and we can go to any just by thinking about it. Since we are just minds, the travel is basically instant. It’s hard to enter a planet that has aliens because you can only enter with someone who is from the planet.”

Me: “So there are aliens?”

Kevin: “Yeah. I don’t come to earth cause it’s not easy. I have to be invited by a psychic or I can come with someone else who is invited. That’s how I came; one of my boys was called by his sister.”

Me: “What about all the people we know that died?”

Kevin: “They’re straight. No suffering after death. We all have a connection because we knew each other, so we can always meet up.”

Me: “So you can communicate with them whenever you want?”

Kevin: “Yeah, it’s easy. Usually I just travel from planet to planet and try and meet someone who can let me in so I can see how aliens live. We can enter any planet without life, so whenever I feel like remembering the past, I’ll go to one and see the memories.”

Me: “Can you actually see what happened?”

Kevin: “Yeah. You can relive the whole experience; it’s crazy. I can watch everything I did during my life, and if I meet up with someone I know, we can connect minds and I can share their memories. It’s almost like letting someone borrow a dvd.”

Me: “Let’s get back to the smashing. You’re telling me there is no sex in the champagne room?”

Kevin: [Laughs] “No, we can’t have sex, but you can connect with a chick and see her past; it’s better than you think!”

Me: “So let me get this straight. You died in 2006, right?”

Kevin: “Yeah.”

Me: “It’s 2011. So what you’re telling me is, you didn’t get any ass for the past five years!”

Kevin: [Laughs] “C’mon man, no one can smash.”

Me: [I laugh so much, I literally roll on the ground.] “YOU GET NO ASS!!!”

Kevin: [Laughs] “Na, I meet chicks. I’ve seen some crazy stuff.”

Me: “Damn. I can’t believe you died and went to the Friend Zone. You’re actually trying to tell me that you meet chicks and watch some other dude bang them out? Sounds like fun.”

Kevin: [laughs] “You get no ass!”

Me: “I smell like pussy right now. My fault, you forgot what it smells like.”

Kevin: “Chill, Chill.”

Me: “Damn, that’s crazy though. What happens to the people who never had sex?”

Kevin: “They’ll never be able to experience it.”

Me: “It must suck to follow the laws of a god that doesn’t exist, and then find out that you did it all for nothing. I guess you were right…People need to live it up, because our memories will stay with us for eternity.”

Kevin: “Yeah, it’s crazy. Some people have boring lives and they just hang around earth, too scared to leave and explore. They are the ones who do all the haunting. It usually takes a psychic to get them to leave earth.”

Me: “You know what I always wonder about? You can see earth from space right?”

Kevin: “Yeah.”

Me: “Does my dick block the view?”

Kevin: [Laughs] “Yeah right.”

Me: “You can keep it real with me!” [We laugh.] “This is crazy. I can’t believe I’m talking to you.”

Kevin: “What you missed me?”

Me: “Na man, I’m like David Ortiz with a hanging curve ball…I don’t miss.”

Kevin: “What’s good with my little sis?”

Me: “Aw man, she’s fucking up!”

Kevin: “For real?”

Me: “Na, I’m fucking with you. She’s good. In fact, she replaced you…we don’t need you anymore. You know what? I don’t know why I never thought of this before—From now on, I’ll take out my anti Notre Dame comments on her!”

Kevin: “That’s good; I have to go check on everyone else.”

Me: “How long can you stay?”

Kevin: “It’s up to me but, honestly, I just wanted to check in real quick. I can catch up with everyone in the future; there’s a whole new world.”

Me: “That’s great Aladdin! I guess that makes sense.”

Kevin: “What’s good with a cruise, did you hit one up yet?”

Me: “Not yet, but I’ll go soon.”

Kevin: “You’re slacking. Did you ever end up going on a better trip than the Jamaica one?”

Me: “Hell no! That was classic. Remember the chick from Worcester?”

Kevin: “Of course. She was a Kel seven! What’s good with the Peter Parkas?”

Me: [Laugh] “There are no parkas! You know I’m going to write about this convo, so we shouldn’t keep talking about Jamaica.”

Kevin: “Damn, I hate talking to people who are on lock!”

Me: “Definitely not on lock…just trying to be respectful.”

Kevin: “”What’s good with Latin…still spanking English?”

Me: “Yeah, we killed them this year. 54-12. Coach Mac had the team kneeling with almost seven minutes to go! Yo, you missed out, your boy Shaq was with the Celtics last year.”

Kevin: “Damn, yo yo yo, shaq is big!” [We laugh.]

Me: “Yo, we still have to discuss Tebow, the two national championships, and ND’s championship drought.”

Kevin: “Yo, I’m out. Bag Up!”

[He disappears.]

Me: “This fucking guy!” [Shaking my head.]

[The End]

*Ok, so I fibbed. This is not an actual account. This is one of the many possible scenarios for the afterlife. No one can know exactly what happens!

For those who don’t know, Fanta is the name of a girl who attended elementary school with me. One day, we were in the kitchen drinking a bottle of Fanta soda and I mentioned this fact. Since then, there has been an inside joke that I was in love with her!

Kevin was the best of us! Instead of wasting time missing him, I like to think about past events and how much fun we had together. Old habits are hard to break; in the past, every time something negative happened to Notre Dame, I would call him and we’d have a brief conversation! I still reach for the phone whenever something negative happens to Notre Dame. Some people have the ability to affect your life more than you can imagine! We strive everyday to live up to the standard that he set. Each day, I can hear his voice challenging me to do something amazing. I’m Trying!

If there is a future meeting with Kevin, I look forward to continuing the conversation. We really need to talk about Tebow!

Notre Dame SUCKS! GO GATORS!!!

@PeteTeix617

Are Ghosts Real?

Posted by Peter Teixeira on

Paranormal activity can scare anyone, regardless of faith. The thought of seeing a ghost was bloodcurdling, but I always had “god,” and guardian angels watching over me; I was constantly protected.  My evolution to becoming an atheist was a slow, educational process which lasted many years. The more I understood the world, the less I believed in “god.” Oh what a momentous occasion it was, the instance I was finally able to free my mind from the shackles of theological mind-rape.

So ingrained in me were the ways of the god-fearing man, that I can only compare my freedom to the release date of a convict. One who had been sentenced to life in prison for a murder he never committed. Thirty years of failed appeals caused him to give up any semblance of hope, until that miraculous day; the DNA evidence revealed that he is not a killer…UNBELIEVABLE! I felt a big weight lift off of my shoulders and I wanted to scream “free at last.” The process of removing oneself from an embedded belief is an arduous task. My personal journey to becoming freed of my faith was an eighteen year excursion, filled with consternation.

Free as I was, I never completely understood the life of a non-believer. The world of the atheist man is not without its challenges. I never concerned myself with the mystical unknown realm until last night, standing on a bridge, watching the fireworks explode over the Boston skyline, with a group from the Barros clan.

Somehow, the conversation shifted to poltergeists. There were several stories of first and second-hand accounts in which people had encounters with ghosts. I would share the stories, but they are not mine. The only such questionable event that happened to me, occurred deep in the woods of New Jersey. A group of my friends decided to ride out to the middle of the woods and hang out. Of course, that means drinking was involved. We sat on some large boulders and I listened intently to various accounts concerning the “haunted woods.” At the time, forty ounce bottles were the trend. (I guess you can blame it on Dr. Dre’s ‘Dre Day’ video. I’m sure everyone remembers the party scene with the fridge full of forties. **For those of you who are either young or un-cool, youtube it!**) I was the first to finish my bottle, and I heaved it down what appeared to be a relatively deep cave. That’s when something strange happened; we didn’t hear any noise. There were several jokes about the haunted woods, but I assumed there was probably some water source inside the opening. We forgot about the incident and empty bottles crashed against rock walls. There was no hurry to return to campus, so we just relaxed and enjoyed the calm atmosphere. An hour elapsed, but we were content to remain in the woods until it was too dark.

That’s when we experienced the paranormal activity. Like every other group conversation, an awkward silence occured. Out of no where, we heard the loud sound of breaking class coming from the opening. Scared out of our minds, we left immediately. Like Ripley’s, you can believe it or not! I may not be a believer in “god,” but the existence of another dimension, I dare not question. (I know what you are thinking. Isn’t Atheism the absence of belief in any form of spirituality? No! It’s simply a disbelief in “god.”)

Back on the bridge, I listened to some weird episodes, never questioning the validity of the tales; I have always believed in spirits. The one fact that bothered me was the method used to combat the ghostly activities…holy water and prayer. I DON’T HAVE EITHER. I couldn’t help but think, how would I handle such a challenging situation.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was unprotected. No guardian angels, and no “god.”

I know myself, and I knew that I would have a rough time falling asleep; I am terrified of ghosts. (The movie ‘The Exorcist’ caused me many sleepless nights.) The night was shaping up to be a long one. I was prepared to be faced with some of the very paranormal activities which were mentioned on that breezy Boston bridge. (Yes, you guessed it…alliteration is my favorite.)

I laid in bed, my mind was creating ridiculous scenarios that I was fully prepared to face. Scared as I was, victim I would not be! I was prepared to deal with any ghost who dared show up. (I have no clue why I am trying to be so fearless. No matter how much I reason, I will be terrified once again tonight.)

For those of you who do not know, I like to have my room pitch black. There is nothing I detest more than being awakened by the sun. (Insert vampire jokes here!) I actually reached the point of blacking out the windows…it was wonderful. I would never know what time of day it was. The movie watching experience was enhanced, and I could take a nap whenever I felt the need. Things had to be changed after an incident with one of my exes. I woke up in the middle of the night to urinate, and when I walked out of the bathroom, she was standing in the hallway with the light on. “What are you doing?” I asked. She was scared, because my room was so dark. I know I’m a jerk, but I did the right thing…windows were no longer blackened. The room remains fairly dark nonetheless, so it definitely lends itself to horror. (I propose that a change be made. The word restroom doesn’t seem appropriate. Who the hell would want to rest in there? It smells like excrement and urine. If anything, we’re all in a hurry to get out. I believe public toilets should be called “reliefrooms.” Speaking of toilets, I understand the word urinal, because it makes perfect sense; urine goes into them. Toilets, on the other hand should be called shitinals, or fecenals! Just Saying!)

Another reason I feel  my room lends itself perfectly to be the setting for horror, is the paranormal activity that has been occurring with more and more frequency. I kid you not. Inexplicably, and for no apparent reason, my cable box will shut off. It will then reboot itself and turn back on. I wasn’t sure what was happening until I researched the phenomena online. Ghost? Exorcist? Demon? Devil? No! Fucking Comcast. I discovered that many customers were experiencing the same problems. The Comcast boxes are malfunctioning all around the country. Regrettably, there is nothing that can be done; no quick fix. A technician would have to be sent out to replace the entire box. Thankfully, I have found an appropriate solution. Directv, here I come. Pardon the tangent, but I hate Comcast with the Passion of the Christ. (This one is free. Great idea for a television show. ‘Pardon the Tangent.’ Guests will be encouraged to  steer the conversation on weird tangents. The more irrelevant the better! Take it an run with it. I just only seek 5%!!!)

Getting back to the topic of ghosts, I have discovered a resolution. I don’t need any religious support. I have come to the conclusion that, because the mind is so powerful, people can have experiences that are unexplainable. I have decided that these instances, with the paranormal, are simply the creation of the mind. A hallucination if you will. Obviously, this solution is completely bullshit because I still believe in ghosts. But, how else am I going to deal with the unknown…whatever helps me sleep at night!

I challenge anyone to sit down and converse about the subject with the man I know as “2-Joes.” You will become a believer.

In summation, I can only state that it is undeniable…ghosts are real!

@PeteTeix617