This Actually Happened – March 31, 2012

Big Disappointment

I’m sure anyone who lived on this planet anywhere other than seven miles under the ocean, heard about Dan Brown’s bestselling novel, The Da Vinci Code. I had an idea for my own novel and I didn’t want to be influenced by Brown’s book, so I put off reading his tome until after my work was completed. Once I finished my manuscript, I had many projects and never got around to reading Brown’s book. Luckily for me, I finally bought my own copy; a special edition. Not only do I have the novel, but one may call me a thief once I reveal the purchase price. I only paid one dollar and fifty cents. “Come again?” Yes, you read that correctly; I bought the book for a buck-fifty. “Where, you may ask?” At the best place to buy books; a true treasure hunter’s dream; a thrift store. Los Angeles has many thrift stores and I have been cleaning up. I purchased several bestsellers for less than two dollars. Apparently, I’m not the only one who knows this fact. The other day, I had some time to kill and I walked into a thrift store and met a lady who was also perusing the book section. We had a pleasant conversation and shared some trade secrets. In an effort to thank the wonderful people who continue to read my blog, I decided to let the cat out of the bag. (I don’t like the last phrase. Why the hell wouldn’t someone let the cat out of a bag unless the person comes from the Michael Vick pet owners association!) A few days ago, I was grocery shopping and it just so happened that there was a thrift store in the same strip mall as the supermarket. I walked in and found what I thought was another steal. Boy was I wrong! I have been a big fan of Stephen King movies, but sadly, I never read any of his novels. I did read his book on writing called On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. The book provided some great tips and contained a lot of Mr. King’s life experiences. I thoroughly enjoyed reading his work and I made it a personal goal to read one of his novels as soon as humanly possible. On Thursday, I had some free-time and I decided to read Stephen King’s Gerald’s Game. I can’t describe the excitement I felt before reading my first King novel. Boy was I disappointed; the book was filled with way too much descriptive writing and I slept my way through it. I haven’t been that bored since the time I volunteered to count how many grains of rice come in a twenty-five pound bag of jasmine rice. (17863 to be exact. You can count it if you like!) I read some of the reviews on line and found that other readers shared my experience so I plan on reading another King book soon in order to rid my mind of the last novel. I think I’m going with 1408, since I already purchased the book. If I find it to be a bore, I will not be reading anymore Stephen King novels! BELIEVE IT OR NOT!

A Must Not Buy

(Great bed-time story for insomniacs; it will put you right out!)

Do yourselves a favor and go grab some books at a thrift store. Just be careful when purchasing steamy romance novels. You never know what the previous owner was doing with their other hand while going over the intimate details! Sorry for planting that visual in your head. ENJOY!


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This Actually Happened – December 10th, 2011

The previous edition of This Actually Happened dealt with a dreadful topic, and failed to provide the usual laughs. For this week’s post, I will share two stories in an effort to make up for ruining anyone’s enjoyment of a random Saturday night drunken hookup!

Wow That’s Small

Making online purchases has many perks, but there are some drawbacks. First, the more people shop for goods on the internet, the fewer jobs will be available. There is also the problem of not being able to fully inspect the product before it arrives. Things don’t always go as smoothly as one may hope. I’m sure by now, everyone is familiar with the bestselling personal finance book of all time, Rich Dad Poor Dad: What The Rich Teach their Kids by Robert Kiyosaki. My cousin decided to purchase a copy, but instead of going to the bookstore, which is what I am all about, he elected to buy the book online. Most sites offer copies for around ten bucks, and my cousin chose He was ready to make the purchase until he noticed a special offer; there was a copy for only two dollars. Who the heck wouldn’t take that offer? He bought the book and awaited its arrival. How great it must have felt to save some money; most people love bargains. He received the package and opened it. He couldn’t believe his eyes; the book was ridiculously tiny. Not only was it super small, but his copy was an abridged version. This is why online will never replace the bookstore experience! BELIEVE IT OR NOT!

Paying The Toll

Thursday evening, I received a call from @EFidalgo12, in which we discussed a few job opportunities. He works in downtown Boston and enjoys an easy commute; our neighborhood is a short drive from the heart of the city. The conversation was winding down, when out of nowhere he yelled, “FUCK!” He repeated the word two more times before I asked, what. His reply was music to my ears. He said, “I just got on the fucking pike!” Elation over took me and I cheered as if the great Tim Tebow scored another game-winning touchdown. He repeated his wonderful expression, once more, and I said, “I have to go!” There would be no quick and easy drive on this “Thirsty Thursday!” I held back my laughter and exclaimed, “enjoy the toll!” For those of you who do not live in the Greater Boston area, allow me to elaborate. There are several ramps which lead to the Massachusetts Turnpike. When navigating the city streets, motorists must be careful to avoid these entrances. I’m pretty sure every driver has made the mistake at least once. There are absolutely zero exits from the city, until one arrives at the Brighton tolls. This has to be the most annoying mistake a driver can make. I don’t have any statistics to back up my claim, but I am sure that this mistake is the reason why most Boston drivers are assholes! BELIEVE IT OR NOT!

     The Gators are preparing for their January 1st bowl game against the Buckeyes. (The game has been dubbed “The Urban Meyer Bowl!”)


     Be sure to check back tomorrow for a preview of next week’s posts! (I will introduce a new weekly entry for Mondays!)