Why Are They Talking Again

Relationships are like a box of chocolates; great at the beginning, but eventually you get sick to your stomach! (Just kidding; I think!)

To read my thoughts on love and relationships, read these two previous posts: What’s Love Got To Do With It, and The Worst Quote Ever.

Relationships are complicated. They’re actually like snowflakes; no two are alike. It’s great to have friends and family members to share advice, but the truth of the matter is, people have to figure things out for themselves.  We will all make dumb decisions and mistakes will happen more often than not, but life is about experiences; most people will find their way, unless the individual is a dumbass.

Since I covered the topic in the previous two posts, this entry will only deal with past relationships. I touched upon the subject before, but I will expand. It is important for people to free themselves from bad relationships as soon as possible; there is no need to spend a second being unhappy. Do not be afraid to be single.

That being said, I believe people can rekindle a past relationship. The key is to avoid thinking that some unseen force, “god,” cupid, or astrology, has anything to do with the two people giving the relationship the old college try.

Just because a relationship didn’t work in the past doesn’t mean that it can’t be successful. First, each person must take a hard look within themselves in order to figure out why the first attempt failed. Once this first step is completed, the couple should sit down and have a candid discussion. The two people will have gone through new experiences and each person will be different then they previously were. There will be a period of getting to know each other.

It is important to let go of the old problems; they no longer exists and more importantly, they don’t matter. The couple can look back and laugh at their arguments, but a second relationship will not last if either person hasn’t moved on from the past nonsense.

Do yourselves a favor and ignore the negative comments. There will be people who give advice but they won’t know the entire story so thank them and forget what they say. This is your life and you have to live it the way you see fit. Even if the advice ends up being true and the second attempt fails miserably, you took a chance and that’s never a bad thing.

Remember that this new relationship is a NEW RELATIONSHIP. Although the two people dated previously, they will have a new perspective on life. Take the time to get to know one another. (There may even be some new moves in the bedroom!)

***Don’t ask how the person learned the moves, just enjoy yourself!***

     Second chance relationships are no different than all other relationships; it may work out, but most likely it won’t. The failure of such a union has nothing to do with the past; relationships are hard and most people are selfish. Advice is worth the money you paid for it; you are intelligent and the advice that you give to yourself is probably better than the words of an idiot. (I apologize if the last sentence gave the perception that every person is intelligent!)

People will spread their negativity regardless of the path you take. Do your best to please yourself and the rest will fall into place. Don’t ever base your decisions on what has been done before. You may be better than anyone who has ever walked the earth. Set trends and go after what you want.

If you’re happy, nothing else matters!


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What’s Love Got To Do With It

People often use the term “Unconditional Love” when speaking about the love they have for someone who they consider to be exceptional. The word unconditional is added in order to show that the love is extra special. To me, saying Unconditional love is being redundant. The way I see it, all love is unconditional. The love we have for parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, nieces, our children, and friends, is unconditional. (I know I said “Our Children,” but I was speaking in general. Virgins don’t make babies! *@Efidalgo12 is a jerk! See below.*)

We can even develop a love for an ex, but the love has nothing to do with the desire to be in a relationship with the person; the love is unconditional and is the same as the love that we have for friends and family. (The biggest mistake people make is allowing the love for an ex to confuse them. If you dated someone for a long time, they will always have a place in your heart, but it doesn’t mean you should fight to be with the ex, or that the ex is “the one.” Accept the fact that you care for your ex and move on. Let the past relationship go and cultivate a new one!) We will love all of the special people who enter our lives for as long as we still have a breath to breathe!

“What about when we are no longer friends with someone; doesn’t the love end?” NO! If you lose the “love” that you had for a former friend, the person was never a true friend and you never loved them. It is impossible to stop loving a friend. True friendship involves unconditional love; friendship is for life. (People often call an associate a “friend,” but the truth of the matter is the friendship is more fragile than a falling snowflake touched, in mid-descent, by an exuberant child during the year’s first snowfall!)

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer!” Don’t ever do this; it’s a dumb statement. Who the hell wants to keep their enemies close? The best thing to do is avoid having enemies. Life is way too short to be worried about what other people think of you. If someone wants to be your enemy, simply allow the person to be non-existent in your life! (Don’t be fake. Tell the person you do not have time for their nonsense and don’t allow yourself to get involved in their pettiness!)

“How can you say, ‘Love doesn’t exist,’ and then say, ‘all love is unconditional;’ ARE YOU INSANE?” NO! When I said love doesn’t exist, I was referring to relationships. I have defined all love as unconditional, which excludes all relationships from involving true love. Relationships are one hundred percent conditional; a relationship is a verbal contract. Two consenting adults agree to join together on a quest for happiness. (Some couples make it to the promise land, but most fail miserably!) It takes real commitment and trust to have a successful relationship. It’s basically like a recovering addict. The couple has to take things one day at a time, because any big mistake can ruin the relationship on any given day. All of the hard work that was exerted to build a wonderful union can be destroyed in an instance with one selfish decision.

People who believe in true love are placing themselves at a disadvantage. The belief in true love can force people to stay in unhealthy relationships. DON’T EVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE MISTREATED! The only pain that should exist in a relationship, involves being away from your partner; regardless of what the songs say, being in love doesn’t hurt! We all deserve to be considered special by a partner! Most importantly, never ever get married to someone for the wrong reasons. (Never being married has to be better than being married to the wrong person and getting a divorce!) People often talk about having “cold feet!” If you have cold feet, don’t get married; it’s not normal. If you are engaged to the right person, the two of you should be excited and running towards the altar. If having cold feet was normal, we wouldn’t have a divorce rate that is over fifty percent. (For more on marriage, read my previous post ‘My Proposal To Save Marriage’ – July 1st.)

My views will probably cause people to make the assumption that I do not believe in two people joining together and enjoying a long lasting committed relationship. Don’t ever assume! Have you already forgotten last week’s lesson? (Those who assume, make an ASS out of U and ME!) I’m not some bitter, heart-broken person with a hatred of love. I enjoy life and I do believe in wonderful relationships that can blossom into great marriages, which last forever. (Of course forever means until death. We have no idea what happens upon expiration. *That has to be the most horrible term for death!*) Who wouldn’t want to find a great life-long partner? I’m just not overly concerned with finding a woman with whom I will vow to have repeated one-night stands. (Again, that has to be the worst description of a committed relationship known to man!) I don’t believe there is a special person for everyone. You meet someone and, together, you become special for each other; there is no fate or “meant to be!” (That’s psycho talk!)

What people call love, should really be called “in love.” Those who are in relationships can be in love, but it is never the true unconditional love that I discussed earlier; ‘in love’ can end whenever the relationship sours. In love, is probably one of the most misunderstood emotions known to man. Society places too much emphasis on falling in love, which causes people to force themselves to think they are in love. FYI: In love cannot occur at first sight; that’s called “in lust.” In love takes time and I mean a lot of time. (Only psychos fall in love too soon! Run for the hills if someone falls in love with you before they truly know who you are!) *I don’t know what makes “the hills” a safe place for people to run to, but we’re always being told to run for the hills!*

I hope this entry has explained my views on love. Please allow me to paraphrase Forrest Gump when I say, “Love is like a box of chocolates!” It gets old and stale. At that point, all we want is a new box! (Pun most definitely intended!)

Please disregard the above statement. I don’t think being in love gets old and stale…at least not if it’s a great relationship. (The quote popped into my head and I couldn’t resist the temptation of sharing!) Lucky are those who find an amazing partner to share life experiences. For they have a wealth far greater than the US deficit!


**Let me explain the whole @Efidalgo12 statement from above. The guy actually used his monumental two thousand and eleventh tweet to take a shot at me.

@Efidalgo12: S/O to my 2011th tweet. The next time my # of tweets will coincide with the year will be around the time @PeteTeix617 loses his virginity.

Boy, I’ll tell you. These Miami fans have a lot of pent-up anger. It’s not my fault The U sucks!

There is no shame in waiting for the right person!**



The Worst Quote Ever

The easiest thing anyone can do is read this entry and dismiss what I have to say as nonsense, but what I am writing is simply the truth. I’ve heard people say, “The truth hurts!” This entry may sting a little!

There is one quote that people have held near and dear to their hearts since hunters and gatherers established their first communities.

“If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours for life!”

     I hate to burst your collective bubbles, but that quote is hogwash! That’s right…Pig bath! (That’s what hog wash means, right?)

I agree with the first part of the statement. If someone does not want to be with you, let the person go. There is no such thing as meant to be. If someone feels that they no longer want to be with you, or someone is not treating you the way you deserve, let them go and move on to a better relationship or the freedom of being single. You shouldn’t have to work hard to get your partner to like you; they should like you for who you are!

Under no circumstances should a person ever become a psycho and fight to keep someone in their lives. Love doesn’t exist, but if it did, it wouldn’t consist of begging. If someone cares about you and he or she wants to be with you, you should expect to be treated with respect.

“What do you mean love doesn’t exist?” Love is like religion; it’s a belief. To love means to have faith. There are no astrological signs and no “meant to be!” Those types of fantasies are fun to think about, but people have to be careful not to forget what is actually real; life is more complicated than fairy-tales. The Disney movies and Pretty Woman are not reality. Prince Charming is not going to sweep you off of your feet. (Prince charming is not out there looking for a prostitute! In fact, he doesn’t even exist! STOP LOOKING FOR HIM!)

There are two types of people. A person is either a free spirit who wants to experience many new partners, or a person is looking to be with one partner in a committed relationship. If you are a free spirit, stop involving yourself in relationships; you’ll only create a psycho. If you want to be in a committed relationship, but you find yourself fighting to get your partner to commit, end the relationship; it’s not going to happen!

Obviously, people can change, but you cannot change someone. They have to want to change for themselves. Stop fighting, it’s a losing battle. You can remain with a cheater and hope that one day he or she will stop, which can happen! But why would you risk it. Do you really expect a person to stop cheating once you have created an environment where cheating is accepted. If you continue to welcome back your partner after he or she has been unfaithful, the pattern will only continue and the behavior will get worse. (Being single is not as bad as people make it out to be!)

Don’t let some bullshit word like “love” keep you in an unhealthy relationship. Care about yourself and leave the cheater. Even if the person is not a cheater, but mistreats you, or isn’t compatible with you, leave!

The second part of the quote is what I have the most problem with.  If someone comes back after you have let them go, it’s not because of love or some fantasy ending. The person just came back! There are many reasons why people come back to old lovers. Don’t be fooled and think it has to do with real love. Don’t allow the person to mistreat you, and be wary of the person’s intentions. Always respect yourselves and expect to be treated properly.

The problem with most relationships is the fact that people focus on the potential for a great fairytale conclusion, instead of realizing that they are with the wrong partner. People will hold on to the few times in which their partner did something special expecting that the person will change and treat them special all of the time. If someone only makes you feel special on few occasions, you are with the wrong person. STOP EXPECTING THAT THINGS WILL GET BETTER! (The two of you have defined the relationship and your partner is content with how things are!) Holding on to potential is a losing battle!

Everyone expects that a past lover will return as a new and improved person, which may be the case in some rare situations, but for the most part, people are who they are. What you can truly expect is that your partner will return with NEW STDs! How fantastic is that?

Do yourselves a favor and stop looking to the sky for answers. Evaluate your situation for what it is and make a decision based on facts. You’ll avoid a ton of unnecessary bullshit!

P.S. Remember that astrology is for entertainment purposes only. If you are in a relationship and your partner knows that you follow your daily horoscope, you’re placing yourself at a great disadvantage.
Example: Girl reads horoscope. “You will be faced with a difficult challenge. Be forgiving and your love life will be strengthened.”

Guy reads the same thing, cheats on girl and asks for forgiveness!

Good Luck believing in such nonsense!


I Knew It

The second article from psychologytoday.com which inspired me to write an entry is titled Porn, Novelty and the Coolidge Effect written by Gary Wilson. (Sorry for the inference, but there will be no mention of any pornographic material, porn stars, or any type of videoed activity!)

Wilson’s article delves deeper into the subject than I will, but I encourage anyone who has a thirst for knowledge to read his interesting and informative piece. Wilson focuses on the Coolidge Effect, which he defines as, “an ancient biological program that can override your sluggish contentment after orgasm if there are new mates begging to be fertilized.” (I can just picture the guy sitting at the bar and saying to a nearly inebriated female, “You have a look on your face that says you are begging to be fertilized!” That line should go over pretty well.)

In the article, Wilson reveals the sexual behavior of lab rats. He says:

     “What happens when you drop a male rat into a cage with a receptive female rat? First, there’s a sexual frenzy. Then, the male progressively tires of that particular female. Even if she wants more he has had enough. However, replace the original female with a fresh one, and presto! The male revives and gallantly struggles to fertilize her. You can repeat this process with fresh females until he nearly dies of exhaustion. Scientists know this phenomenon as the Coolidge Effect”

I have always believed that men have a natural, uncontrollable desire to seek out new sexual partners. I never knew there was an actual term for the behavior. This entry is similar to my post on cheating, but I was ecstatic to find scientific evidence to support my beliefs! (The only thing I love more than being right, is being a FLORIDA GATOR!)

Great news fellas! Cheating is not your fault! Woohoo! (Ok, it definitely is your fault, but at least now you have some scientific backing when you are trying to explain your actions!)

Does this mean that men are incapable of being committed partners in monogamous relationships? Should women just give up all hope? NO!

Men can be faithful! Men simply need a reason to resist their natural inclination to pursue every single hot female they encounter. The biggest misconception about men is, “good sex will keep a guy around!” (He might stay around, but he will definitely take a dip into another female’s vagina! I was going to say pool, but what’s the point of beating around the bush? [Pun intended])

People have a tendency to argue any point, so I have no doubt that someone may believe monogamy is natural; IT IS NOT! Human beings have to be taught how to become monogamous. There are some animals which are monogamous, but for the most part, animals are extremely promiscuous. Even sea horses are not monogamous. Why is that surprising? Male sea horses actually are the ones who give birth! The female disperses her eggs into the male pouch and he carries them for a period of forty five days, until live baby sea horses are released. (Clearly sea horses are the most chivalrous animals in the world! Ladies, if a guy says, “baby, I wish we were sea horses so I could carry the child for you, he’s a keeper!”)

Ladies, don’t worry about a man who has a wandering eye. Looking is uncontrollable. If you are the woman for him, he will not cheat. Refrain from foolish verbiage such as, “If he loves me, why is he looking at that ugly bitch?” First of all, she is clearly not ugly, and she probably had a tremendous ass. The fact that he loves you is the reason why he will look and not touch.


**Let me take a moment to address something that has always baffled me! Why in the world do women wear shirts that reveal their breast, and then have the nerve to wonder why men are staring at their chest? I wish a woman would say something to me about looking!**

Another cliche comment is, “I can’t believe he cheated on me with her; she’s ugly!” She may be ugly, but she is new to him. It’s what the Coolidge Effect is all about. The more a woman irritates a man, the more he is willing to be “FOR THE SPORT!”

Allow a man to fulfill his carnal desires. If he wants to cheat…he will. If a woman has no desire to stay with a cheater…LEAVE! If a man loves a woman…he will control himself. If he is unable to control himself…he doesn’t love her! I know it’s natural to try and prevent a lover from cheating, but there is honestly nothing that can be done to prevent a man from bedding another woman. Focus on being the best woman you can be, and hope that he is intelligent enough to realize what he has. The last thing a woman should do is nag her man. After all, it is the man who allows his woman to cook, clean his house, and wash his clothes! (Just kidding!)

Any man can resist his natural urges; he just has to believe that he has a special woman. When I say special, I am not talking about a great sexual partner. No matter how great the sex, a guy will tire of his woman. I am strictly referring to sex when I say a man will tire of his woman; making love is different. A man, who is in love with a woman, will have no desire to sleep with others. “But my man loves me and he cheated?” Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but he did not love you! (People who are truly in love can look back on past relationships, in which they swore they were in love, and realize…THEY WEREN’T EVEN CLOSE TO BEING IN LOVE!)

The key for any woman, who wants to “tame” her man, is to stimulate his mind and make him feel that she is irreplaceable. Being a whore is a surefire way for a woman to guarantee that her man will stray. A materialistic woman is great to hang-out with and date for a while. Any man loves having an eye-candy on his arm, but she is easily replaceable. A woman, who makes a man feel like committing to a relationship and eventually getting married, is a woman who remains true to herself, and focused on her inner beauty.

I guess the best advice I can give to anyone who wants to meet the right person, with the hopes of getting married is, “STOP FUCKING EVERYBODY!” This may seem like a foreign concept to some, but self-esteem plays a major role in self-control!



Players Don’t Cheat

One cannot address relationships without first mentioning the mythical double standard. There isn’t a guy in the world who hasn’t heard a woman say, “if men can do it, women can too!” I agree. In fact, no statement could be more truthful. Women can do exactly what men do; there is no difference.

“Wait? You just said there was no double standard.” That’s right! There is no double standard. MEN ARE SLUTS, WHORES, or whatever you want to call them. That is a fact. Don’t waste my time telling me about a guy who sleeps around. If you want to shock me, tell me about the “good” guy who is faithful. The reason there is no double standard is based on the fact that men know they are sluts. Do me a favor. (Men and women can participate.) Go through your phone, pick a random guy, and call him. When he picks up, tell him that you think he is a slut. If he gives a shit, send me an e-mail with the number to your bank account so I can deposit a thousand dollars.

That’s what “independent” women don’t understand. If you do what the guys are doing, you are a slut. The fact that you give a shit, is your problem.

Example 1: A man goes on vacation. He sleeps with a new woman every single day; two females on Sunday. What a whore! He returns, filled with a sense of pride. The trip was extremely successful, barring any STDs.

Example 2: A woman goes on vacation. She sleeps with a new guy every single day; twice on Sunday. What a whore! She returns, filled with a sense of shame. Why doesn’t she respect herself?

See the difference? In both cases, the vacationer is a whore. The man doesn’t care, but the woman does. Either you embrace the fact that you are a whore, because YOU ARE, or you keep your legs closed. (There’s your mythical double standard.)

FYI: People are all up in your business, because you are a whore, it is obvious, and you keep restating the fact on-line. The world is too small. Can everyone please stop putting his or her business on the social networking sites if you want people to mind their own business!!!

***I speak facts. In no way am I trying to say that I am not guilty of cheating. I just don’t make excuses about it, and at the end of the day, I know that it is a cowardly act. Furthermore, if you are a slut, don’t ask me whether or not I think you’re a slut; I will tell you the truth!***

Now to the main topic: Players Don’t Cheat

This seems pretty straight forward to me, but I guess I need to elaborate. By definition, or at least the way I define the word, a player is someone, male or female, who has many different partners. The player doesn’t make a commitment to any of these partners. He or she makes it perfectly clear that there is no desire to be in a relationship. The goal is simply to have fun. The player will move from partner to partner and can always find a new one. The player is a completely honest person. Being a player is not about deceit; it’s about being desired. There are no lies, no games. Bill Bellamy’s movie ‘How To Be A Player’ wasn’t about a player; it was about a liar. Those women believed that they were special and some even believed they were in a committed relationship with him. A player tells women there is no commitment; you can see whoever you want, and we’ll have fun whenever we link up. The reason this standard has been lowered is the fact that there are not too many people in the world who can be players. Well, I’m talking about men. Any woman can be a player, it’s probably the easiest thing in the world. (Just understand that the term player, whether describing a man or a woman, still means the person is a slut.)

A player has a relaxed, stress free life. He or she can pick up the phone at the drop of a hat and call any one from their contacts and there will be a willing partner. I must reiterate, there is no effort; players just have a certain je ne sais quoi if you will.

Cheaters are often confused with players; cheaters are a completely different animal. People who get involved in committed relationships and then seek a partner on the side, are cowards. They want to be players, but they lack the necessary qualities, so they take the cheap way out. Do everyone else a favor, if you plan on cheating on your partner, don’t introduce them to friends and family. (If anyone thinks that I wrote this to score points with the chicks, YOU’RE OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND!!! I’m just being truthful. In no way is this post meant to change society or stop people from cheating. I just want to give a clear definition so those who are confused can have a better understanding. In fact, I may cheat in the future; I am no better than any other asshole out there!)

Why do women cheat? Because being a slut is the new chic! That’s it, no other reason. No, she doesn’t cheat because he cheats. That would just make her a whore like him. Cheating is not a reason to cheat—it’s a reason to breakup, or make changes.

Why do men cheat? There are several answers. The first and most basic, is the fact that men are programmed to sleep with as many women as possible. We are conditioned from a very young age. Don’t believe me? The next time you are around a little boy, listen to how many people tell him about all the hearts he is going to break when he gets older. I believe it was a professor at UMass Boston who said, “It is a man’s goal to plant his seeds in as many fields as possible, and it is the woman’s duty to limit her field to one farmer.” (Pretty basic!!!)

Men will also cheat because the other girl has a fatter ass, and she is a known whore. (Ladies, when you see a girl that you don’t like, the last thing you want to tell your boyfriend is, “she’s such a slut!” You might as well give him a pack of condoms and say, “enjoy!”) Men cheat because fucking the same girl can be boring. If his mind is not stimulated, he is going to cheat. There is no woman in the world who is hot enough to keep a man from cheating. Only a woman who can stimulate a man mentally can keep him from cheating. Don’t believe me? Ask Halle Berry. There are many reason’s why men cheat, figure it out for yourself. In no way am I condoning cheating, but sometimes when people try to hold on to a relationship that doesn’t work, cheating will occur.

Women always say, “a man changes after he has sex with a woman!” That is a fact! Men will indeed change after sleeping with a woman, but he doesn’t become a different person, he becomes himself. The actual change takes place when he discovers that he doesn’t want a relationship with the particular woman, so he becomes whoever she wants him to be so he can seal the deal. (Isn’t that such a horrible way to talk about sex? “Seal the deal!” I can recall one instance in which a guy, after being frustrated by a girl’s stalling, actually told her, “let’s get the show on the road!” I love my circle of friends; you can’t make these stories up!!!)

**Advice for women. The next time you are in the mall and you are thinking about what outfit you are going to buy to make your ass look better or your breasts bigger, remember this, “MEN DON’T CARE!” If a guy likes you, he’ll like you no matter what you have on; all that fashion crap is to impress other women. (I’ve never heard a man say, “damn, she’s hot, but that shirt is from target.” If that ever happens, the guy didn’t turn you down because of your outfit, it’s because he’s into guys.) Implants, botox and all that other garbage won’t get it done either. Read a book, get a hobby and improve your personality, a man can only be stimulated by your bodies for so long. Work on what makes you a great person and a wonderful guy will notice! Go to the clubs and sleep around, a wonderful guy will notice! So the next time you think, “there are no good guys out there.” Remember that he probably saw you, sloppy drunk, and hanging all over some guy with a nice car. There may be great guys out there, are you a great girl? If you don’t respect yourself, a man will never respect you!**

**Advice for men. Be yourself. Trying too hard is noticeable!!! I believe the kids are calling it “thirsty!”**

Once a cheater, always a cheater? No, that’s not true. Anyone can learn from a past mistake and become a better person. Just because he or she cheated on a past partner doesn’t mean the pattern will remain the same. The question should never be, “did you cheat?” The more important query is, “why did you cheat?” But the saying is correct when it applies to the same partner. Once a person cheats on you, it’s best to just move on. If your partner can make the decision to disrespect you once, nothing will ever change. If you take this person back, it will just strengthen the belief that you will put up with anything. I know everyone won’t agree with this so, all I’ll say is, good luck getting your partner to stop cheating; have some pride and just move on!

Before any guy becomes vexed by the fact that I am giving away “secrets,” just remember that game is strong and women will always believe that these facts only apply to someone else’s man. You’re good!!! (Actually, if you’re worried about anything souring your game, step it up!)

I often hear people say, “we were meant to be.” No, that’s crazy talk; you sound like a stalker. No one is meant to be. Relationships are not predetermined, they must be created by two people who have similar goals. If the relationship didn’t work out, it’s because the people are incompatible. And there is no such thing as, “we met at the wrong time.” No one throws away a relationship with the right person, regardless of timing. If it works, it will work. The fact that it didn’t work, is because one person is delusional and the other person didn’t see a great future.

Don’t try to change people. They are who they are and they won’t change for you. At least not over the long haul; you are just setting yourself up for failure.

**Women, please stop saying, “I can’t believe he cheated on me with HER, she’s not even cute!” He cheated, because you are annoying, not because you are no longer cute. The new girl is fun and exciting, stop nagging and he won’t cheat. Maybe she is completely different from you, which is what attracted him to her, or she may just be a whore. Either way, I can guarantee you that SHE NEVER NAGS!!!**

A man will have a difficult time respecting a woman who he sleeps with on the first date. Regardless of what he says, he will always remember that she gave it up on the first night. Every man says the same thing, “if I got it on the first night, anyone can get it!” It’s a sure sign of a slut. Ladies, if you are a slut and you want to change your loose morals, you have to make a commitment. Stop fucking everyone! People talk!!! Meet a guy that you like, and let him know that you have made some mistakes in your life. You are now a different person and you want something real. You can do it ladies!!!

Being a whore has nothing to do with desire. It is human nature to be attracted to other people, even if you are in a committed relationship. Sluts are the men and women who can’t control themselves. I never understand why people feel guilty for having feelings for an ex. You will always care for your exes, it doesn’t mean anything, its natural.

I often get the feeling that I am unlucky to be born in the era of “the whore,” but then I realize that whores have been around from the dawn of time. I know I don’t believe in “god” but I love to study religion; it’s amazes me to learn how little people know about their own faith. I may be atheist, but at least I know what I believe!

Recently, while reading my bible, (Yes, I have a bible, a Qur’an, and several other religious texts; I’m a scholar! I wouldn’t talk about how ridiculous faiths are without studying them.) I came across an interesting story. I think everyone should dust off their bibles, and open to the book of Ezekiel; chapter 23: The Two Sisters. Just to give a sample of how much I enjoyed reading the tale, I’ll write down my favorite quote: “Thus she gave herself as a harlot to them, to all the elite of the Assyrians…she did not give up the harlotry which she had begun in Egypt, when they had lain with her as a young girl, fondling her virginal breasts and pouring out their impurities on her.” Ezekiel 23:7-8 (Bible stories! Can’t you just picture gathering all the children around the fireplace on Christmas morning and reading passages from the “good book!”)

If you want to be a good friend, I advise you to tread carefully, when discovering infidelity. Don’t tell your friend to leave the partner who is cheating. Simply state the facts that you have, then say that you will always be there to support any decision. This may not seem like the best approach but it is. Your friend will either stay together with the cheater, or breakup. This decision will be made regardless of what you say. There are too many people who are foolish enough to believe in true love. (True love does not exist. If you take any two people who have relatively close interests, they can create a strong loving relationship. But it will take hard work and an understanding that they have to deny natural urges.) People will often remain in abusive relationships, because they believe that the person who is abusing them will eventually change. I must have missed the part when true love evolved from abuse and disrespect. People come and go. If you aren’t getting everything from your relationship, LEAVE!!! Don’t be sucked in by those who claim to be having fabulous sex lives. They are probably secretly dealing with STDs; herpes is not cool!!! You probably shouldn’t sleep with someone until you fall in love with them, if you want to avoid STDs, but don’t bother heeding my advice!!!

I have stated facts, whether you agree or not doesn’t change anything. You can enjoy a horrible relationship because you know better than I do. Maybe it’s “god’s will!” These are great ways to deal with cheating. If your relationship begins on the wrong foot, there will be cheating. Good luck folks!!!


My Proposal To Save Marriage

I grew up in a time when weddings were arguably the most important event in a person’s life. Meeting that special someone to spend the rest of your life with was the ultimate goal. The excitement that followed an engagement was only rivaled by the excitement of one’s parents planning a trip to Disney World. (Unless you went a dozen or so times. Yeah, I was spoiled!) NOT inviting someone to a wedding could create a feud only surpassed by the Hatfield’s and the McCoy’s. TIMES HAVE CHANGED! Today, people select life-partners, as if they are choosing fruit — if it turns out to be a bad one, who cares? They’ll get another one tomorrow.

**Word of advice to any man or woman who is planning on getting married. If you are looking forward to sleeping with or engaging in any sexual activity with one or more strippers, prior to the wedding day – YOU’RE NOT READY TO GET MARRIED!!! In addition, if you plan on sleeping with anyone who is not a stripper prior to or after the wedding day, see capitalized text above!**

I’m a believer in the fact that weddings and funerals continue to be the greatest events. Obviously weddings are more joyous than funerals, but I enjoy both, simply because each brings family and friends together in one place to support one another. (I’ll write about death soon!)

Recently, I attended two weddings and I had a fantastic time at each. More importantly I feel the true love, which was evident, helped to demonstrate that marriages remain essential to a sophisticated society. Not only is the wedding day splendid but the anticipation, leading up to the date, is exhilarating. Although I enjoy weddings, I must say there is one aspect of marriage which truly upsets me. THE DIVORCE! (This entry has been something that I’ve thought about for years.) It truly bothers me when couples break the vow of marriage, especially when they do so, QUIETLY.

People (religious couples) stand in front of their chosen deity and vow to stay together forever. Family and friends stand as witnesses to the new union. The emotional moment brings many people to tears. (Not me! There was clearly something in my eyes.) The ceremony is beautiful, the reception is beautiful, the honeymoon is…well I’ve never been but, I can imagine. Actually I don’t have to imagine. Check out www.hiddenhoneymoons.com, GOOD TIMES! At any rate, the entire wedding experience is what little girls all over the world are dreaming about as you read. Everyone gets eager to see the new couple when they return from their trip to some exotic location. Everything is wonderful.

AND THEN…something goes horribly wrong. A philandering husband, a loose wife, an overly-friendly neighbor, an addiction to porn, a jealous sibling, a forgotten love, a whorish ex, the mailman, etc. Whatever the case may be, the sense of disappointment reverberates through the extended family. In America today, more than half of all marriages end in Divorce, but we never expect it to be the people we know and love. “Not those two; they were made for each other,” we all assume. (Obviously there are some exceptions. We’ve all had that one experience where everyone is thinking, what the hell are these two thinking!)

Divorce always affects me negatively. I don’t know what it is, but I guess there is a part of me that believes in true love. (Yeah I know, SHOCKING!) Sometimes, a couple will  get a divorce without people even knowing.  I know I just found out about one recently. (Always sucks to hear, although I am never shocked.) I’ll never forget where I was when I heard of Tiger Woods’ transgressions. That may have been the divorce that ruined marriage for me. (I was in my bedroom, typing something fantastic, with the television on, if you must know.) Too many people are getting hitched just for the sake of it. Somehow, marriage has lost its significance.

Fortunately, I have the solution to the divorce problem! **The Divorce Party**

That’s right people, I propose something that will prevent couples from jumping into a marriage before they are prepared. We (wedding guests) deserve to witness the divorce. And we deserve to witness it in the same manner – the same Pomp and Stance! What do I mean by “Divorce Party?” Well, I’ll tell you. (After reading this, please send letters to your elected officials to ensure that a law is enacted.)

***Before I divulge the intricacies of the Divorce Party, let me point out that the porn site mentioned above does not exist. I repeat. The porn site above does not exist; I just made it up, PERVERTS! Half of you have already found that out and half were waiting to check it out after they finish this entry. Nonetheless, I’m sure those of you who haven’t, will still attempt the IP address later.***

A Divorce Party, MUST be mandatory. Meaning, no divorce can be finalized unless a government witness, who is to be paid by the couple, is in attendance.

Divorce Party Details:

  1. The person (priest, minister, etc.) who officiated the marriage must be present at the divorce Party. If that person is deceased, a replacement Official of equal importance must be present.
  2. The same location, or one which is comparable must be selected.
  3. A photographer must be hired. If a videographer was hired to film the wedding, you guessed it — one must be hired for the divorce. (Copies of the film MUST be made readily available to anyone who desires one.)
  4. The Divorce Party is a two part event, just as most marriages are.
  5. If a couple is married in a church, the divorce party’s first act must also occur in a church. There must also be a Divorce Mass, if there was one for the wedding. Conversely, if the wedding was not held in a church, then a similar location must be chosen.
  6. Every person who was invited to the wedding must be invited to the Divorce, and the invitations are to be sent out in a timely manner. Furthermore, the invitations are to be sent out with the same grandiose as the ones for the wedding.
  7. Groomsmen and Bridesmaids are to be selected. If an individual who served during the wedding is unavailable, he or she must be replaced. (The suits and dresses are to be paid for by the divorcing couple, and limousines are to be provided for transportation)
  8. For the first act of the event, the couple must sit before the witnesses, and answer any and all questions that will be asked by the Wedding Official. (priest minister, etc) The guests will not be permitted to ask any questions. This will be the Officials time, but guests CAN challenge the truthfulness of any answer. Snickering by the audience is not only allowed, but encouraged. Also, the yelling out of asinine comments, may be frowned upon but, WILL be allowed.
  9. When the Wedding Official is satisfied with the answers given, he or she will allow the divorce proceedings to continue.
  10. At the end of the first ceremony, the couple must walk down the isle side-by-side, detached, with arms folded.
  11. The divorcing couple must ride together in the same car; they are free to select any vehicle. The Bridal Party will ride to the Divorce Reception in the limousines provided.
  12. The main event must be held in a hall of equal or greater elegance as the wedding hall.
  13. The Bridal Party must get together at a chosen location and take photos.
  14. Hors d’œuvres must be served for the guests while they await the arrival of the Bridal Party.

*******MY FAVORITE RULE*******

  1. THE DIVORCE RECEPTION MUST BE OPEN-BAR! (Paid for by the couple, and we’re definitely talking about open-bar all night! And none of that garbage about, “you can only have this or that.” COMPLETELY OPEN-BAR!) To further illustrate my point, the bar must be more open than the vagina of…{This is the portion of the blog where the reader gets to be involved!!! Insert name of someone you know, who has a vagina which is always open for business. Have fun with this; it’s not an assignment. Feel free to add that name in the comment section, tweet it, post it on facebook, or you can text it to your best friend!}
  2. The Bridal Party must be individually announced when they enter the reception hall.
  3. The seating arrangements are specific. The guests are to be seated in the same manner as a typical wedding reception. The members of the Bridal Party are to be seated in the middle of the room facing the elevated main table, which will seat the divorcing couple. (It is essential for the “Divorce Table to be elevated, so all guests can have an unobstructed view of the divorcing couple.”)
  4. There is to be an MC, who will be responsible for all announcements.
  5. A live band or DJ must also be hired.
  6. Each member of the Bridal Party will have the opportunity to either give a speech, or ask questions of the divorcing couple. (They are to answer any and every question honestly. Anyone in attendance will be allowed to challenge the validity of the answers.) The divorcing couple must present members of the Bridal Party with an appropriate gift, after each person speaks.
  7. It will then be the open-mic segment of the evening. This is when the lavish dinner MUST be served. Any and all guests will be allowed the opportunity to ask a question, or give a speech. The MC must ensure that each guest who has a question for the divorcing couple is heard.
  8. Once all questions are answered, and the government witness is satisfied, the dancing can commence. (The guests of honor are not allowed to refuse any dance requests.)
  9. The divorcing couple will not be permitted to leave the reception until all of the guests depart.

If someone has the desire to be promiscuous and free, I have no problem with it. Live your life as you please! Just don’t put on a charade in front of family and friends, by getting married. Let matrimony be for the people who are truly in love – stay single and do your thing. It is my sincere hope that, by implementing my Divorce Party idea, people will think twice before rushing into a marriage for the wrong reasons!!!