This entry is the fifth of a series. Heaven’s Angels A Lesson The Laws The Tradition
Joan returned on schedule, but I was concerned because she appeared to be visibly upset. She didn’t say hello, in fact she didn’t say anything; Joan just stood in the middle of my room and stared at me, indignantly.
Me: “Are you ok; what’s wrong?”
Joan: “Why did you ignore me this past weekend?”
Me: “What are you talking about?”
Joan: “I attempted to deliver a message to you, but you ignored me. Why?”
Me: “Are you sure it was me; I was in LA. Maybe someone was sleeping in my bed and you scared the crap out of them.”
Joan: “Of course I’m sure it was you; I decided to take on a different form. The Lord had a suggestion about the myth and I wanted to deliver his message to you.”
Me: “I’m sorry. I honestly had no idea.”
Joan: “I was standing in Hollywood with a microphone and I know you heard me because you wrote a post about it.” (Read said post, here: Second Day: LA)
Me: “That wasn’t you.”
Joan: “Yes it was!”
Me: “You fooled me with the Halloween costume, but you aren’t going to fool me with this one. I know you aren’t going to appear on earth as a Jesus freak!”
[She laughs.]
Joan: “Damn, I thought I could get you, again.”
Me: “Looks like I evened up the score.”
Joan: “Let’s hear the myth.”
Me: “I thought it would be best for me to focus on the fact that the myth should scare children into behaving properly. The character I came up with is called, Herpes Harold. He travels around the world and gives Herpes to the bad children, and his secret home will be inside the Vatican.”
[She laughs.]
Joan: “Please tell me you’re kidding?”
Me: “I’m sorry, I completely forgot about the myth and this is all I was able to come up with.”
Joan: “I like the fact that you are placing shame on the Vatican for their past atrocities, but we need a hero; I can’t believe you forgot.”
[I laugh.]
Me: “Looks like you’ve been had. I believe the score now reads: two to one, in my favor.”
Joan: “I can’t believe I fell for that.”
Me: “Enough joking around; here is what I created. From now on, people will greet one another by saying ‘Happy Basalt Day,’ on October 23rd.”
Joan: “Basalt Day? I’m not sure that’s better than Christmas.”
Me: “Trust me, it will catch on! I decided to focus on the rock, which must be Basalt. Our moral policeman, if you will, is Magma. He is half man, half rock. He lives in an underwater Volcano, deep beneath the Pacific Ocean, and penguins work year round to make the toys.”
Joan: “That’s not bad. Continue.”
Me: “Once St. Peter became the new Lord; he created Magma and gave him control over all volcanoes. From this day forth, whenever Magma gets angry with our behavior on earth, he causes an eruption.”
Joan: “I like it; this factor will help us keep a grasp on the naive adults. Tell me more.”
Me: “Children all over the world will carve their wish lists onto the Basalt rocks. Angels will be assigned to watch over the children and decide whether they are proper, or misbehavers. The angels will deliver the reports to the Magma’s aides, who are penguins. Once the list is completed on the eve of October 23rd, Magma sets off on his journey.”
Joan: “How does he travel?”
Me: “Magma has talking dolphins. He stands on a large granite surfboard and the dolphins swim towards land. Once on the shore, the dolphin’s tails transform to feet and they are capable of running at the speed of light; they are basically invisible. Magma travels to each home and delivers the gifts to the proper children. For the misbehavers, Magma orders his most trusted assistant, a sea lion named Diamond, to chisel away the bad child’s gift list.“
Joan: “So let me get this straight. The obedient children, the ‘proper’ ones, wake up to a rock surrounded by gifts, and the misbehavers wake up to a rock which has the wish list scratched off?”
Me: “Exactly. And the homes without a rock belong to Jesus’ non-believers!”
Joan: “Sounds good so far. What else?”
Me: “Children will be taught to pray to the angels, in an effort to ensure that they receive a positive report.”
Joan: “I must say, I think you have a winner here.”
Me: “Thanks, I’m glad you like the myth. There are more details which I will reveal over time. Next week, I will write the story of Magma’s new favorite Dolphin, who was able to save the day during a hurricane. I will then share the story of Diamond, in the following week’s post.”
Joan: “I can’t wait. There is a lot of potential here.”
Me: “In a generation or two, Magma will be the new children’s hero and Santa will be synonymous with Jesus.”
Joan: “The more characters you can create, the faster the myth will spread. Keep up the great work!”
Me: “I’ll continue to do my best. I’ll also get one of my creative friends to sketch out the characters.”
Joan: “Wonderful! That will be a nice touch! I’ll deliver the story to the Lord; I’m sure he’ll be thoroughly pleased. I’ll see you next week!”
[She disappeared.]
May the Lord bless all of you for reading!
@PeteTeix617
