A Lesson

Heaven’s Angels

***If you didn’t read yesterday’s post, you won’t understand what this entry is about!***

     As expected, Joan returned the following evening. After some unmentionable activity, she revealed the word of the Lord.

Joan: “Before we discuss the laws, I want to talk about responsibility. The old God was patient with his prophets; he gave them the freedom to spread his message as they saw fit. Our new Lord will not accept insubordination.”

Me: “You don’t have to worry about that, I will dedicate my life to spreading his word.”

Joan: “Let me tell you a story about a man named Tom.”

Me: “Is this a story about one of God’s laws?”

Joan: “No! This is about your duties as a prophet. Tom was a regular fellow. His upbringing was normal; he came from a typical American family. Tom studied hard in school and landed a wonderful job at an Ivy League University. He was a hard worker who eventually earned a promotion to head the housing department. After four years on the job, Tom was asked to train a new assistant, Kelly; she was also a hard worker. The School’s President wanted Kelly to know everything about the job, in case Tom was unable to make it to work, on any given day. Tom thought it was a great idea, and for an entire month, he taught Kelly everything he knew. At the end of the month, the President asked Tom if Kelly was well trained. He answered, ‘She knows everything that I know.’ The President’s response was simple and cold. ‘Great; you’re fired and Kelly is your replacement’!”

Me: “That’s cold!”

Joan: “It’s practical. Tom made it to the top and lost the drive to continue working hard. Don’t make the same mistake; continue to carry out your mission, or you’ll be replaced.”

Me: “Message received; poor Tom. What about my question about the wives?”

Joan: “Definitely a big NO, on that one!”

Me: “Damn! Oh well.”

Joan: “Usually, the laws will be delivered to you in a story, but today I will allow you an opportunity to impress me; you will be asked to figure out the proper outcome.”

Me: “Ok; I think I’m up for the challenge!”

Joan: “Picture Dominique; she is young and has made a commitment to wait until she is married until she has intercourse. One night, Dominique walks home from a hard day on the job. She strolls through a nearby park and admires the bright stars illuminating the sky. Suddenly, an attacker appears from behind a large oak tree and savagely rapes her. The incident is the worst experience of her life. Adding lemon juice to the paper-cut, she discovers that she is pregnant. Do you think she should be allowed to have an abortion?”

Me: “In that instance, I would say it is completely up to her; no one can make that decision for her, especially not some former member of the Hitler youth, who now runs the Vatican!”

Joan: “The truth of the matter is, the woman is going to Hell regardless of her decision. The Bible clearly states that premarital-sex is a sin!”

Me: “WHAT? Are you kidding me?”

Joan: “Yes!”

[She laughed.]

Joan: “This isn’t the old God; the new Lord operates under common sense!”

Me: “Thank God!”

Joan: “As far as the Lord is concerned, a fetus is not a child; those who have abortions will not end up in Hell. Each woman has the right to make her own decision.”

Me: “You mentioned pre-marital sex; is that allowed?”

Joan: “Are we married?”

[I shook my head.]

Me: “Sorry for the dumb question.”

Joan: “It’s all about treating others with respect; people are free to do as they please. If two consenting adults have sex, so be it – just don’t come praying for a cure if you catch AIDS! The whining can get quite annoying!”

[I laughed.]

Me: “I completely understand; I like this new God!”

Joan: “We all do; it was so boring, before!”

Me: “Yeah, I had no desire to end up in the old Heaven.”

Joan: “Try this example. We have Chris and Tim; they are two gang members. One day, Chris’ younger Brother Mike, who was also in the gang, died at the hands of their rivals. Chris and Tim discovered who the triggermen were, because their girlfriends happened to be at the scene. The two women threatened to leave the men if they didn’t exact revenge. The foursome agreed that Chris and Tim should go out on a mission to kill the murderers. The longtime friends arrived on the enemy’s turf and unleashed a barrage of bullets; three rivals were murdered in cold blood. Years later, the friends left the gang life behind and turned to religion. They asked the Lord for forgiveness and married their girlfriends. The foursome founded an organization designed to prevent violence; they successfully saved thousands of youths from joining gangs. What should be the final judgment for each member of the foursome?”

Me: “I think the women would be forgiven for their involvement, but the men will probably end up in Hell for the murders.”

Joan: “The community work is great but it doesn’t matter because, in the end, each person in the foursome will end up with Jesus! Urging someone to kill is the same as murder. The law is thou shalt not kill; not thou can kill and then make up for it.”

Me: “Damn, that’s cold, but I guess it makes sense.”

Joan: “Avoid gangs, work hard, and listen to your parents.”

Me: “I’m with the whole avoiding gangs and working hard thing, but I have a problem with the listening to parents, part. What about the children whose parents are sinners? I think your stories don’t cover all aspects of life; maybe you need to go back to the drawing board. Why don’t you just give me a list of essential rules and we’ll go from there?”

Joan: “That’s actually not a bad idea. For now, post the story and I’ll talk to the big guy!”

Me: “Another problem I have with your story is that fact that it can actually happen. Aren’t religious stories supposed to be filled with a bunch of nonsense? Where are my impossible, living in a whale and burning down cities, details? Can I add a big gang war, where one gang kills all the members of the other gang, except for one infant who was hidden inside of the trunk of an old Honda? Maybe the baby can grow up and take down the rivals?”

Joan: “No, you can’t add your own details! This isn’t the old religion; we have to pass on information which makes sense.”

Me: “Ok, I’ll make sure people avoid gangs, but I definitely think the list of laws is the way to go.”

Joan: “I’ll let you know what the Lord decides!”

[She exited.]

God willing, there will be a list soon!

@PeteTeix617

 

The Laws

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